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Hoosiernurse Hoosiernurse (New Member) New Member

You ONLY work 3 days a week!

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You are reading page 6 of You ONLY work 3 days a week!. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

My husband never want to hear about my work (I worked in ICU). I stopped working a few years ago when I had my 2nd child ( stayed home & take care of my kids). I have doubted my sanity many times since. I wanted to get back out to work but my husband's words were that my pay won't even cover for child care. I feel self worthless! It hurts!

You are a superwoman running a home, managing the kids, paying the bill and still concern about your spouse's feelings. You should say to him he is a very lucky man to have a wife like you. Don't take you for granted!

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I feel like I'm in the same boat and I'm frustrated because I never know what to say. He makes these diminishing comments all the time to other people when I'm talking about work. Like I'm somehow exaggerating how impossible it can be at times, or like every time it's brought up in conversation with others that I work unbearable 12 hour shifts, he always cuts in with "but he gets 4 days off a week". I don't think he realizes how diminishing that makes my job sound. He disregards schedules like having 2 on, one off, 3 on, etc. It's physically back breaking. It's mentally exhausting, and always an emotional rollercoaster at work but he is constantly making me feel guilty for have those extra days off when I logically know that I am away from home equally as much as he is.

He works 8:30-5 Monday - Friday. He spends 5:30 to 10 (that's almost 5 hours) every day at home to relax and watch TV or play video games. He has no expectations on his days off, but on my days off, I am expected to clean, make phone calls, pay bills, manage finances, run errands. On his weekends, he doesn't even at least do light cleaning like dishes. I am supposed to do the heavy stuff like mop, scrub toilets, get out water stains, tub stains, dust high and low... He doesn't see any of it, and if I do speak up, it's always "you have more days off than me." And "I work just as hard as you." (He processes home loans).

Am I doing the same thing? Am I being petty and diminishing his hard work?? Or am I wrong to keep being self conscious about having extra days off a week?

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I worked 3 twelves doing private duty and I guess that could seem cushy, but 12 hrs per day spent totally focused on someone else IS tiring. I've cut my time to 2 twelves, and accept only cases which don't require me to be working at 'full-tilt-boogie' all the time. I've worked many 'hard' jobs full time for many years and have put in my time and paid my dues more than a few times over.

For a good while now my husband has been caregiver to his mom, who at 87 has come to need (and expect!) more and more from him. She lives 2 and 1/2 hrs away, so he spends a week to now two weeks at a time with her. That's one long, long private duty shift! I will tell you this: he says to me every week that though he had NO idea how stressful it could be to be the pivot point for someone else's life, he REALLY gets it NOW, that a 'simple, easy' job isn't actually that all that simple or that easy!

I am exceptionally grateful that he doesn't expect ME to pitch in and take care for his mom!!! Whew!

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For all that complaining he doesn't seem to help around the house much, seems like your doing twice the work . He needs a good talking to :no:

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Here is my vent,very supportive husband,very helpful,his way=would only do the things he enjoyed like cooking and not the ones he did not like as in cleaning the toilet.Both worked full time days,but he was careless about bus schedules for the kids,locking the door acted a like a workaholic..blah blah.It got so bad I switched to part time nights so I could be home for the children,then he complained about my shorter hours and less insurance coverage,I ignored him and continued to do what I had to do.Years later I was able to go back full time, days and hubby was furious,vexed about "that salary you now making",.....I hired a cleaning person and ignored the rants.I told him , that he could go to nursing school,take all those miserable exams and work holidays,weekends,nights Too !!So you see you can not please everyone,you have to please yourself.

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