Hoosiernurse Hoosiernurse (New Member) New Member

You ONLY work 3 days a week!

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You are reading page 5 of You ONLY work 3 days a week!. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

Only 3 12's a week? Ask yourself this.......how many times during those shifts do you push your body past it's limit, comfort the dying, and make split second decisions? Now..........how many times does he? Not to sound like a downer, but people have no idea just how draining nursing is until they've done it.

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I think that is crazy. Yes, it is awesome to have the time off, but you still work hard when you do work. Your husband should appreciate you and you should appreciate him as well. You two did not marry to compete, or to crack whips on each others backs. We hear your version of the situation so I will not make any judgments either way, except for what I am hearing you say. 1.) You work long shifts on your feet. 2.) You work 3x12= 36hrs / wk (basically a full work week) 3.) You come home to a dirty house (so naturally you clean it and he waits for you to do so. 4.) You commute. This all points to the fact that you are pulling your weight. 5.) He works on computers in IT. (Both of you have good paying jobs.) 6.) He is requesting that you pull more shifts. 7.) You have to sock away money for his eminent lay off. (I assume so that you do not have to move out of your house which is so far away that you have this huge commute.) Question, is it you, him, or both who refuse to sell and move closer to where you work? If it is you, then you may need to pull more shifts, if it is him, then he may have to compromise and move. 8.) He can not force you to pull more shifts, or clean house, if you do so, you do so by your choice. 9.) Tell him he is nagging. It is better to be on the rooftop than to live with a contentious man. Lol. ;-) 10.) Tell him you will enjoy your time off, same as him, you earn it. 11.) If he is laid off, expect him to keep the house clean, otherwise hire house keepers. 12.) Seek marriage counseling to help both of you refocus on the meaning of your marriage. (To be friends and allies, not foes.) 13.) Life is too short to argue over money. Be thankful for what you have, even if you have less than you expected. Be thankful because you are better off than most. And remember when you shop, that where you spend your money is what you are really voting for and what you vote for has real consequences that we are all really feeling now, get educated and vote wisely because it does matter.

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One a side note here, my husband is an ordained minister and, when we got married, my son (now his stepson) commented that it was nice that he only worked one day a week. :eek:

Now that son is going into the ministry himself and realizes that he will have to work more than one day a week. :lol2:

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When I explain what those "3 little shifts a week"entail for fulltimers, most shut up immediately. No time for lunch, pee breaks or even to drink water, most have no CLUE what that is like.

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You poor thing! He is probably feeling nervous and taking it out on you...keep your chin up!

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If I were you, I would tell my husband to shut it! You need to make him understand that you are the one bringing the money to pay the bills, and that you are working your a$$ off to do that. Don't let him bring you down, and if he doesn't understand then I think he doesn't deserve you.

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i only work three 12's a week as well but if u look at it, it ends up being 13-14 hrs, and i work night shifts so on the 4th day, you sleep your day away. people don't understand, all they hear is 3 days a week but we do 12's and do our 40 hr week in 3 days opposed to 5 days a week. i love my schedule

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Sorry you're going through all of this, but what I've come to realize in life is that most people project their issues on to other people. I think it's always best to try and understand where people are coming from and why. Once you figure that out, it usualy becomes easier to treat them more accordingly, and not be so bothered by thier comments. I'm not making any excuse for your husband, but men equate a lot of their status as "men" with their jobs. I think you're husband, being on the brink of his employment world spinning out of control, is displacing his anger on the one person he should be turning to for support. I'm sure that not being able to contribute financially to the marriage is causing him to feel like less of a man, and he basically seems to be reverting to a caveman mentality by putting you down and barking orders. Ooooga ooga go fetch food! Not nice at all, but I suggest trying to understand how he may be feeling at this time. And, remember that we women are some strong, resilient beings, and we handle things a lot different than men. For the most part we're not emotionally constipated and we don't shut down. I hope you guys can work out all your problems, and realize that like any storm, this too shall pass.

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I was an EMT before Igot into nursing. I was pulling 24 hour shifts 3 days a week Sometimes pulling a 48 was a killer!!!. 3 12's is awesome. on my twenty fours we were busy so we would go days without sleep only to come home and crash for a day. My husband i a FF/Paramedic. Luckily he understands the physical and emotional drains of public service. I am sorry you are going through this. People who don't deal in Medicine or public service have no clue!!! My husband and I have supported each other through school. I can't imagine having someone who doesn't "get it"...LOL. Keep your head up girl. I hope you can work out your problems.

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I agree that anything more than 3 - 12 hour shifts is too much. My ex-husband said the same thing and he could not understand why I wouldn't work more when he didn't have a job. I started working nights for shift differential and agency nursing as well, which gave us more money and he still wanted me to work more, more, more. Your husband might be stressed financially because he has no control over work and finances and he thinks he needs to repair this by getting you to work more.

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I know this may sound mean but if you are paying the bills,taking care of the girls,cleaning the house and doing all the running then why are you married to him in the first place? It sounds like you need to be the one asking the questions,not him. Like, why is he so disconnected when it comes to your needs and the needs of the family. He needs to plug in,pull his head out of his butt and realize what he has. My best advice is to be thankful for what you have and trust in GOD. He will take care of you and your family if you allow him.

Best of luck to you both and a marriage counselor may be able to give you the tools you need to get back on track.

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I don't know where to start . Sweetie I am sorry you have to endure this crud. You do work more. I wish you could go on strike and he had to hire a nanny a cook an accountant and house keeper. Perhaps then he could figure out how to hire a chauffeur to get the kids around. Then HE can find an extra job to make up for the fact that you are too exhausted to do any of that because you are drop dead tired from picking up an extra shift. I hope you find time to treat yourself to a massage. Tell him you had to stay late at work to finish charting. That wouldn't be so hard to believe would it?

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