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What are dealbreakers for you?

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. . .still, if anything ever happened to my marriage, i would be very content remaining single and celibate.

just me/kids, my dogs, nature, and peace.

i'm absolutely fine with that.

So am I -- which is a huge change from my previous self. Maybe I took after my mom, who said to me one day, "I never broke up with one guy until I had the next one lined up." :)

But if I had to choose dealbreakers, they'd probably be:

BO, green teeth and horrible toenails (the hygiene thing)

Someone who says, "men are genetically programmed to a) cheat or b) ogle every nice rack or butt that walks by"

Someone who says, "wow you're really smart" when you mention the name of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. I do understand not everyone is a news junkie -- but c'mon! People who lack curiosity about the world around them are just boring to me.

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mama's boys - my ex-H's mom got between us and ultimately was one of the reasons (many reasons!) our marriage ended...my current husband is not afraid to tell his mother where to go when she's out of line!

also toenails too! and men that don't wear underwear - I went on a few dates with a guy that went commando - and I understood why after he wore underwear once they were nastier than his jeans!

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I've been married for a long time, but here are somethings that would be dealbreakers for me:

Ignorance

Poor hygiene

Smoking

Substance abuse

Willfull unemployment

A crazy ex!!!!

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Bad teeth, loud, obnoxious, immature, uninformed about life, a financial disaster, and the big one... Thinks her kids should be worshipped by all. I'm sure your kids are great, but nobody has kids as angelic as you think yours are. :)

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i am married and have children, but when i was single one of my first questions would be, "do you have children?"

i can't say that if they said "yes" it would be a dealbreaker, but just a simple "yes" is never what i got.

i would get this: "yeah, i do, but i don't get to see him/her/them as much as i would like to. their mom won't let me."

i would run like the WIND! in my experience, most women (MOST) want their children's father to be a part of their life so to ME that just screamed - DEADBEAT! plus, there's always court. if a man wants to see his kids then he will. just my opinion.

i had friends who had children with men who already had children they didn't support financially, emotionally, or otherwise....and i could never understand why on earth they thought that they would be any different!

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I've been happily married for 20 years, but if something were to happen to my hubby, I would HAVE to stay single. My list is ridiculous and way too long:

Reasons I wouldn't date someone:

Smoking

Republican

Non-exerciser

Non turn signal user

Left lane hog

Has young kids

Smells

No sense of humor

Has to think everything through

Has a bad or obnoxious ex

Can't dress himself well (I have that issue with hubby now, so don't want to repeat it)

Racist

Stupid

Unmotivated

Materialistic

Doesn't use the English language properly

I could think up a hundred more, but this is a start.

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My deal breakers:

1. Anyone who tries to control my friendships, work or movements is gone. I have experienced one abusive relationship and at the very first sign of control-freak I am GONE.

2. Excessive alcohol use or any drug use is gone. I don't have time for wasters.

3. Ignorance.

4. Bigotry

5. Unkindness or bullying ways.

6. Anyone who you can't have a rational disagreement without it descending into screaming and yelling insults. (the occasional argument is fine!)

So much more I could add! Maybe this is why I haven't had a date since 2010?

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Has a bad or obnoxious ex...

I could think up a hundred more, but this is a start.

I'm curious why this would be a deal breaker? I would let this one slide as A) He could not control the actions of his ex and B) he is no longer with her, which would speak for his judgement. Plus, we've all dated "that" person, right?

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i am married and have children, but when i was single one of my first questions would be, "do you have children?"

i can't say that if they said "yes" it would be a dealbreaker, but just a simple "yes" is never what i got.

i would get this: "yeah, i do, but i don't get to see him/her/them as much as i would like to. their mom won't let me."

i would run like the WIND! in my experience, most women (MOST) want their children's father to be a part of their life so to ME that just screamed - DEADBEAT! plus, there's always court. if a man wants to see his kids then he will. just my opinion.

i had friends who had children with men who already had children they didn't support financially, emotionally, or otherwise....and i could never understand why on earth they thought that they would be any different!

I assume you didn't meet many single fathers that had ex's that used the children as pawns. I have run across many single bitter women that hated their ex husband and would use the kids to get back at their ex. I never missed a child support payment in over 15 years. My ex was jealous of the fact that I was advancing in life and would do everything within her power to prevent me from spending as much time with my kids as possible. Luckily for me my job paid well enough I could "sic" my lawyer on her every time she acted up. I know several men who can barely get by after paying living expenses and child support and cannot afford to hire a lawyer when their ex tries to screw with them.

I also have a 17 yr old son, with a different woman. I have had full custody of him since he was 2 and I have never received a penny of the court ordered child support. Talk about a DEADBEAT!! She cries to the judge that she just can't afford to pay me and the judges keep letting it slide. I am quite sure if it was reversed and it was me that could not pay I would already have been thrown in jail.

When I meet a woman with kids and the dad has custody of them I run.

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I'm curious why this would be a deal breaker? I would let this one slide as A) He could not control the actions of his ex and B) he is no longer with her, which would speak for his judgement. Plus, we've all dated "that" person, right?

I guess I should have clarified an obnoxious ex that's still in any way shape or form in your life. Speaking from my own experiences here.

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Another dealbreaker for me: He doesn't like animals, particularly rats. I have them, so what?

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Dealbreakers:

- Tobacco use, of any form.

- Use of illegal drugs, or excessive use of legal ones, including alcohol.

- Bigotry

- Must be single, widowed or divorced, not be "separated" or "pending divorce". It utterly horrifies me that several "so-called" religious, family values spouting match sites/groups accept "separated" as a datable category.

- Bad hygiene.

- If they have children, they need to love and care for them, and contribute to their upbringing and welfare if at all possible. Acceptable barriers to that: children grown and having gone their own way d/t their own issues or insurmountable barriers presented by the ex. I accept that will require a great deal of acceptance on my part, and may present challenges. Children that one brings into this world are generally not at fault for you and your mate's issues, they should not lose by your failings at marriage.

- numerous unplanned/unsupported illegimate children. Followed by excessive, blatant, irresponsible, unappoligetic reckess permiscuity. I don't care what you think men (or women) are "programmed for", or find a "biological necessity". It is ignorant, dangerous and shows a lack of respect for society, for family, and for those children involved.

- Must be able to function on their own, trust me andI must be able to trust them.

- No PUAs, No "Game", No "negging". None of that Roissy/Spearhead crap. You have that baggage, get the H#$l outta my face.

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