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Ruby Vee Ruby Vee (Member)

There Are People Out There . . . .

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There Are People Out There . . . .

Who are downright MEAN.

I tend to forget this, and every now and again I'm reminded. Eric and Charlotte Kaufmann lived on a sailboat and decided to circumnavigate the globe on their boat. Eric was well qualified for this adventure, having worked on boats and delivered boats for a living. Along the way, they wrote two blogs, started an internet business and, oh yes, had two daughters. They were on the Pacific ocean, headed west away from the US when one of their little girls became ill. About this same time, their boat suffered a knock-down, lost steerage and started taking on water. They called for help and were eventually rescued. Rather than leave their boat floating on the ocean as a danger to other boats out there that might strike it, Eric scuttled their boat and along with it everything they owned that wouldn't fit into the two duffle bags they took with them.

The daring rescue at sea made the news, and other news media picked it up. Attractive young family living an adventurous lifestyle and a daring rescue made for good news bites. Charlotte and Eric are well known in the sailing and cruising communities, and their blogs are well-read. Their boat was a well-designed, well found boat more than capable of the circumnavigation they were attempting, and they were well prepared and knowledgable. Nevertheless, armchair sailors at home in the comfort of their living rooms began questioning their motives, their sanity, their parenting skills, their choices.

When you live your life out in public -- and certainly publishing an internet blog where you tell it all, including episodes of marital intimacy qualifies as living your life in public -- you have to expect that you'll encounter people who disagree with you, even vehemently. Not everyone wants to sail around the world, and not even everyone who wants to sail around the world believes you should include children in the adventure. Many people will think you're doing the Wrong Thing. And, because you're inviting such commentary by letting it all hang out there on your blog, you have to expect to see such commentary on the internet.

What I didn't expect to see, nor did Charlotte, evidently, were posts from hateful people saying things like "I hope you all four drown" or "you're not fit to be parents." These weren't anonymous posts like some of the nasty posts we see on AN; these people were using their first and last names and their real email addresses to make such mean, hateful posts. I don't know why it surprises me so much, to see real life evidence that some people are just plain mean to the bones, or that they don't mind showing the world their true colors. But it did surprise me, and it made me think rather hard about whether I really want to post a blog when I go out there on my own boat. Maybe not.

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Yes, there are mean ppl out there but you can't let the possibility of their mean response/reaction keep you from posting a blog when you go out there on your own boat! To do so gives them a kind of control they haven't earned and don't deserve. Life is soooo much easier when you only give a crap about the opinions of ppl you know/respect/love.

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I know a lot of people who show a certain amount of intelligence and kindness. Yet, inexplicably they lead very limited lives. Oh, the things they could do if the whole universe didn't conspire against them. They become bitter and envious toward anyone who is doing anything remotely fun and interesting. Then these otherwise kind and intelligent people can say the most spiteful things and have no insight into how they come across.

The rest of us just have to do what we do and keep enjoying our lives. Can't let angry losers rain on our parade.

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Akin to the parents of patients who care so little about the care of their patient-children, that they fight health care providers tooth and nail about the important matters as well as the less important.

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Welcome to the brave new world.

You can have your say, any way, any where, any time, any how and become famous- albeit for a internet minute.

Tweeting, Face booking and whatever else instant social media I am not up to date have opened up a floodgate of being voicing themselves.

That should be a good thing, right?

There's someone out there who is going to say something 'mean'.

I think the internet has become one big bar, where you will get those that are beyond the pale.

They say things that they would never say in the real world because they think they are anonymous.

You can give them the power or not.

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Welcome to the brave new world.

You can have your say, any way, any where, any time, any how and become famous- albeit for a internet minute.

Tweeting, Face booking and whatever else instant social media I am not up to date have opened up a floodgate of being voicing themselves.

That should be a good thing, right?

There's someone out there who is going to say something 'mean'.

I think the internet has become one big bar, where you will get those that are beyond the pale.

They say things that they would never say in the real world because they think they are anonymous.

You can give them the power or not.

This should be a great sticky for all the posters with less than thick skin...

Ruby seems to have great armor...I think for those who have less should read het philosophical perspective in terms of posting on the Internet on AN instead of hurling "mean" "bully" and other adjectives because they disagree with the opinions presented, especially when they have made the choice to present their situation out there; they have the choice to pick and choose what is helpful, or not.

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Yeah, don't blog your life if you can't take the criticism.

likewise, don't start a thread on allnurses if you're hoping for nothing but agreement and "you go girl" replies. You might be disappointed.

And maybe I'm missing the point, but I think it is irresponsible to bring your children along in an attempt to go around the world in a sailboat. I would say they're being bad parents, too. I don't think that makes me mean or a bully or that I'm trying to rain on the parade of cool, adventurous, live-life-to-it's-fullest type people. Be fun and adventurous, just don't drag your children into the middle of the open ocean on a sailboat and expect to win any parent of the year awards. (But maybe that's too mean)

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Yeah, don't blog your life if you can't take the criticism.

likewise, don't start a thread on allnurses if you're hoping for nothing but agreement and "you go girl" replies. You might be disappointed.

And maybe I'm missing the point, but I think it is irresponsible to bring your children along in an attempt to go around the world in a sailboat. I would say they're being bad parents, too. I don't think that makes me mean or a bully or that I'm trying to rain on the parade of cool, adventurous, live-life-to-it's-fullest type people. Be fun and adventurous, just don't drag your children into the middle of the open ocean on a sailboat and expect to win any parent of the year awards. (But maybe that's too mean)

Too mean were the posts saying "I hope you all drown" or "you deserve to die for what you did." Cool headed and logical disagreement is part of the fun of the internet. Perhaps it WAS irresponsible to bring your children along on a circumnavigation -- hundreds of sailors doing the same thing would disagree, but perhaps it was. But I don't think anyone deserves to be told "I hope you all drown".

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Of course they don't Ruby, but the internet has opened up the floodgates for people to run their mouths without conscience or consequence.

It takes nothing but a few keystrokes to be a big talker.

It's a whole other thing to belly up in the real world.

Communication and meaning can be too throw away in the cyber world.

You just have to keep it in perspective the best you can.

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No, of course the "I hope you all drown" comments were totally out of line. But go read the comments posted on youtube videos, you'd be shocked by the hateful, sexist and racist comments made by people just trolling for a response.

In this particular case... I don't know, I've always had issues with the idea of parents bringing their young children along on dangerous, exotic adventures like this. No matter how qualified a sailor the dad was, isn't being on a sailboat on open ocean dangerous even in the best circumstances? Kind of like parents who take their minor children along on attempts to climb Mt. Everest. It just doesn't sit right with me.

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