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The Break Room Collective Novella

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dianah dianah (Admin) Writer Expert Nurse

dianah is a Cath Lab/Stress Lab/Cardiology Case Management with over 42 years in experience.

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The following collection -- a tale with no end in sight -- was gleaned from a previous related thread, each morsel of fanciful writing selected from the innermost endless thought-stream of our esteemed, worldly-wise, skewed, cockeyed, and passionate members. You are reading page 3 of The Break Room Collective Novella. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

25° below zero with sideways snow, so I skipped the morning shower before leaving the house. When I got to my car I found...

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I had left my keys in the car. Did I really have to go out today? I decided I'd clean off the car and see if I'd locked the keys in or if I'd left the driver's door unlocked. I  gathered my snow shovel, the snow blower, a broom, a scraper, and a can of something to unfreeze the door handle. Then I put on a bunch of layers to keep the wind from finding it's way to my skin.

I asked myself again, "Do I REALLY have to go out today?

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I'm waiting for inspectors from the Ehrlich company to inspect my drains for ants. They get sprayed if they are in our apartments. Maintenance rules can be a good thing at times. It's just the waiting is boring sometimes. ZZZZZZZ.

😴

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So, boring wait or snowy adventure...

I gathered some candles and extra water before heading back into the blizzard toward my trusty [ insert motor vehicle type ] ...

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Thank The Lawd Awmighty, it's not one of those Smaht Cahs that look like the toe of a big sock!

{please to understand that I know less about cars than I do about geography. You pick the vehicle, please.}

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Nope...my trusty 1999 Toyota 4 Runner was far from a sock toe. With chunky all terrain tires and a snorkel she looked invincible. The engine started up immediately in spite of the brutal cold.  I turned on the GPS and pulled up the coordinates to....

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The pharmacy where they were having a sale on Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolving Fast-Acting Pleasant-Tasting Green and Purple Pills.

I had run out of them when I took the last pill last night; that medicine is the only thing that gives me relief from my condition that the doctor diagnosed last month. It was such a shock to hear I had ...

(PS: I find the idea of snorkels on an old Toytohta 4-Ringer a little troublesome, or at least puzzling somehow...)

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It was such a shock to hear that I had Cotard delusion and pica! That explained my weird dietary cravings. I grabbed my 3 month supply of the pills and jumped back into the Yota.

Next stop...

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A dentist who might be able to restore the appearance of my teeth, which were being chipped away by my chewing on an iron pipe crusted with barnacles. I couldn't stop the cravings! My tongue was shredded with sore areas from the barnacles, and I had a bad habit of gnawing on and licking jagged edges of chicken bones; Every morning sprinkling finely ground up cuttle-bone from the parakeets' cage, on my cereal. 

My car reeked as I emitted my plagued body-odor. How could I ever get a date when I had these disgusting conditions? Who would ever want to kiss me? Was there a Support Group for Singles with these problems?

Edited by No Stars In My Eyes

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How about the place where the piggins are? You'd be comfortable there an wouldn't haft ta worry about yer BO plenty. Besides, wouldn't kissin' too much make yer mouth sore?

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