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That band and sports mom, part 2-- Marriage and chronic illness

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NurseCard NurseCard (Guide) Guide

NurseCard is a RN with over 15 years in experience.

3 Followers; article_pluralized; 36,630 Visitors; 244 Posts

I took a vow.. through sickness and health.. and I meant it. But what about when the sickness is never ending???

That band and sports mom, part 2-- Marriage and chronic illness

Okay, before I get started... Let me share some good news!  My son is improving his basketball skills, and had two great games this past Saturday!  

My daughter stepped way out of her comfort zone, also on Saturday, and performed a mallet solo for a score/rating, at the KY State Solo and Ensemble festival!  

I am so proud of both of them.  They are both working hard to be successful at their chosen activities, and they are both just wonderful kids!  Parenting... It's fun lately!

Marriage... Eh.  Not so much.

So once again, I'll just get right to it.  My husband is not quite 50 years old, and suffers from Rheumatoid arthritis.  I feel more and more everyday, like he is giving up on life.  

I want to understand that he hurts.  I want to understand that he is tired of hurting.  I also miss the way life used to be.  Funny thing is, I can't even remember the last time that my husband truly lived his life.  I can't remember when he seemed to want to enjoy life and have any fun whatsoever.  Oh, occasionally he will make half-hearted suggestions of possible activities that we might engage in outside of watching TV in his "man-cave".  Those suggestions usually lead to nothing, and so he continues to sit in his recliner.

It's hard to accept that this is simply how it is when one partner in a relationship is chronically ill, and the other is healthy.  Oh, I suppose that I could get out and enjoy my life, my way.  Travel, dine, drink, dance, go skiing, go hiking, ride coasters... Whatever! 

Guilt, and missing him, get in the way.  

I don't know what I would do without the guy.  I've been with him since I was 17 years old.  He says to me often, "I'm not going to be around that much longer".  He has actually been saying that for quite a few years... He has always seemed to have this belief that he would not live to a very old age.  It's scary.  The thought of being without him is absolutely terrifying. 

I find myself, more and more, preparing myself for a time when he isn't here.  

Well, that got depressing... So!  How 'bout them Cardinals!

NurseCard is 46, married, a mom, and trying to live life to the fullest.

3 Followers; article_pluralized; 36,630 Visitors; 244 Posts

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I cannot imagine the pain, NurseCard. Your pain as you prepare yourself for life w/o him.

Bless you.

___________________

And, to your "how 'bout them Cardinals!" ....... I think I pull for the 'other' Cardinals. 😉

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Oh gosh I'm so sorry. Have you all considered counseling? Pain management clinic?

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