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Destiny12 Destiny12 (New Member) New Member

Signs you've given up on the relationship

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Hello all,

I hope everyone had a nice holiday. What are some signs that one has given up on their marriage? I find that in the last several months I'm really not affected by the arguments we may have. I just feel tired, like there are so many factors that influence our marriage. I feel like I am second on the list, but I don't seem to care.

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It's over. Move on. Life's too short to waste it being unhappy.

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It's over. Move on. Life's too short to waste it being unhappy.

i disagree with this advice.

perhaps marriage counseling?

if your husband doesn't want to go, you still can.

but "moving on", should be an absolute last resort...

and not a first one.

fwiw, i often do the same with my husband.

when he gets on one of his rolls, i can tune him out.

so it's not necessarily an ominous sign.

and, it is perfectly normal to sometimes question if one should stay in their marriage.

that's why giving time a chance, is often the answer.

people grow and change, and what was once an issue, no longer is, as time goes on.

for me, i've learned what's worth fighting about, and what's not.

we really do need to pick our battles wisely.

wishing you both, the very best.

leslie

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I agree with what Leslie said. People do tend to give up easily, and I think a lot of marriages/relationships could be saved by counseling. That being said, once you've done everything you can to improve things and it doesn't work, it may be time to walk away. Best of luck to you.

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i agree with leslie about marriage counseling but would like to build on her idea. we have done marriage encounter weekends three times and greatly benefitted all three times, as did our marriage and our relationship.

while sponsored by various churches, you do not have to belong to the sponsoring church to participate.

we're episcopalians and have done two catholic and one episcopalian weekends. you are never pushed into anything. two weekends cost $45 and the third cost $35 for everything -- motel,meals, everything.

a second option is the retrouvaille weekend for couples considering or on the verge of divorce.

our marriage benefitted and grew so much stronger after each weekend that we would not have believed it beforehand if we had been told. we started with a strong loving marriage and our relationship grew, while others repaired broken or apathetic stagnant relationships.

worth considering before giving up.

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I believe all relationships have ebb and flow. There may be other issues in play here. I don't know but am throwing out these as things you might want to look at.

Menopause, peripause, depression, thyroid function, etc. Get the idea? Remember the old axiom of "first make sure it is not medical"?

Get an outsider to help. Many who have moved on quickly regret later. Don't become one of those statistics. Do everything you can to save your marriage before you walk away. Even if the marriage is terrible it is still hard to go through a divorce. If after getting professional help you still feel the marriage is over then it will take less out of you to break up.

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Hello all,

I hope everyone had a nice holiday. What are some signs that one has given up on their marriage? I find that in the last several months I'm really not affected by the arguments we may have. I just feel tired, like there are so many factors that influence our marriage. I feel like I am second on the list, but I don't seem to care.

AKY is wise; that line is a bit of a give away.

Destiny, see your MD, have a hormone profile done, make sure you eat properly and stay off junk food. If some nasty incidents have happened in your life, for example if you've suffered a bereavement, counseling is definitely indicated.

Hang in there, you may just be suffering from "post-Christmas blues."

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every marriage, every relationship goes through passionate periods, strained periods, apathetic phases,

times when you'd like nothing better than to hack up your partner's body and put a bit out with the garbage for pickup each week until it is finally gone. but if the companionable, friendly,loving periods

predominate, consider yourselves ahead of the game.

my husband and i have had a rough month but we're surviving it. he had sudden (the next day) foot surgery which included a biopsy, and we'll just say he has not beenhis usual adorable self lately. that's ok though because i know it's self-limiting and we're a team.

could you be suffering from anxiety, depression, hormonal problems etc.? could he be? how long has it been since you've both had thorough checkups? done something fun together? doesn't have to cost anything. taken a walk or played cards or a board game? when we play, we play for some pretty outrageous downright ridiculous stakes, but it's fun. my parents played all types of cards and board

games together and they each had a total of ten silver dollars to wager. we use them now and it's fun.

sometimes you (as a couple) have to really work hard to fight apathy and to keep your relationship healthy and strong. sure beats the alternative!

don't give up without a fight! if he's glued to the tv, computer,etc. he may have a problem.

just don't give up without trying everything if you love him because you might regret it later.

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There is a book out there called "The Language of Love." Very insightful and answered so many of the questions I had regarding my failed relationships. Even men like it.

I send you hugs and I hope everything works out for you in the end, so you are happiest.:hug:

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Hello, I'm a new member. I had marriage problems in the past. It takes a lot of hard work to make a marriage work. My husband and I went to counseling. We found a lot of issues that wasn't being addressed at home. It's making us better communicators. Good luck with your marriage.

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Try the Love Dare!It is awesome,easy to follow,and is a good relationship rebuilder

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