Jump to content
leslie :-D leslie :-D (Member)

RE: aknottedyarn......please read.

Lounge   (9,483 Views 198 Comments)
53,615 Visitors; 12,970 Posts
If you find this topic helpful leave a comment.

You are reading page 9 of RE: aknottedyarn......please read.. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

I've known people to make statements that they knew they were dying, such as one made to me "This cancer is killing me". I didn't realize at the time that it was a literal statement. People who intuitively know they are dying want to spare those around them of this, and often make round about statements.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For those that question WHY, please let me share something my Mother told me when I questioned my Father's death and then repeated to me about a month before her sudden death:

"God, who is timeless and knows all things (who has counted the hairs on your head before you were even born), wants us to acheive the greatest glory, as possible, in Heaven. He then chooses to take us when we are at our greatest and highest spiritual state in this life so we can have the greatest degree of glory for eternity...remember, He said that in His house there are many mansions, this is what He meant...you and I are not going to be a holy as Mother Teresa or some the Saints and therefore cannot achieve that degree of glory; but, God knows when in our short life on earth we are at our holiest state and will call us home at that time & we will be content with what we acheived (a small glass feels just as full as a large pitcher when filled to capacity)..."

I know that all do not share my religious believes & this was not an attempt to impose my viewpoint on others. It is just that I find immense comfort in my Mother's explanation and thought that others may appreciate my Mother's explanation of something seemingly unexplainable. Forgive me if I offended anyone, it is not my intent.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
(a small glass feels just as full as a large pitcher when filled to capacity)..."

I like that.

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
anne, please, don't misread my post.

when i said "understand and accept", i didn't mean that we understand why it was mike's time.

i meant understand in the respect that mike himself knew...months before.

i am just blown away by that fact.

sure, i have seen hundreds of people delay their deaths.

but i've never heard of anyone knowing months in advance, and preparing for it...

esp with such calm and purpose...and even, comfort.

and, as knotted tells it, the entire experience was just that...

including medical staff, all understanding and embracing the spiritual destination and purpose.

by virtue of us being humans and therefore, unknowing, of course we're going to question and plead and pray.

but there is such a huge otherworldly component to knotted's story, that for some, it is also quite comforting.

so many mixed emotions.

but as fallible humans, of course we anguish with knotted, over love and leaving.

i am confident that knotted will continue to cherish the spiritual aspects of mike dying, and while leaving her empty, she will simultaneously be filled and hopeful.

my prior post was nothing against yours at all, anne..

you need to know that.

leslie[/quote

Thanks leslie! I was hoping that I wasn't going to offend anyone here, I am a Christian and have been raised in the church growing up. We were always taught not to question anything, I guess more than anything, you just kind of look at something like this... and I just can't help but feel just a sense of sadness. I look over at my dh sound asleep amd it just makes me think even more of how lucky we are that we have each other, but think how easily could have been me starting this thread. That is enough right there to bring tears to my eyes.

And it was so remarkable that Mike was able to feel what he did and provide what AKY needed to know before his passing. That alone shows how truly special and spiritual that both of them are. And, like you said, we have more than one emotion, sometimes one fighting over another to come to the surface.

I haven't seen that either, a person "knowing" that their time was coming and that they were spiritually in tuned like he was. He as well as AKY are both amazing people, and have such grace. I hace seen patients delay their passing, waiting on a special family member to arrive from far away, that type of thing, but never ever seen anything like this. Like I said, it just goes to show how very special these two are. And it takes my breath away thinking about how aware (for lack of a better word?) Mike was to go ahead and talk with her when he did.

Thanks, leslie for your posting, I was just hoping that I hadn't offended anyone whether or not they are spiritual or not, because I was kind of grasping for the right descriptive. I was beyond coming up with any other way to verbalize. You are such a wonderful person and friend being there in times of crisis. You are one of their angels, helping guide them through such a tragic time for them.

I am so grateful that you are here for your friends here at allnurses, to help guide and support others like you do.

Anne

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
For those that question WHY, please let me share something my Mother told me when I questioned my Father's death and then repeated to me about a month before her sudden death:

"God, who is timeless and knows all things (who has counted the hairs on your head before you were even born), wants us to acheive the greatest glory, as possible, in Heaven. He then chooses to take us when we are at our greatest and highest spiritual state in this life so we can have the greatest degree of glory for eternity...remember, He said that in His house there are many mansions, this is what He meant...you and I are not going to be a holy as Mother Teresa or some the Saints and therefore cannot achieve that degree of glory; but, God knows when in our short life on earth we are at our holiest state and will call us home at that time & we will be content with what we acheived (a small glass feels just as full as a large pitcher when filled to capacity)..."

I know that all do not share my religious believes & this was not an attempt to impose my viewpoint on others. It is just that I find immense comfort in my Mother's explanation and thought that others may appreciate my Mother's explanation of something seemingly unexplainable. Forgive me if I offended anyone, it is not my intent.

That's the teachings we learned in church and I know our lives and also our deaths are mapped out, if that makes sense, and most of the time, there is mot a whole lot we can do about it.

Anne

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am just happening upon all these developments....and I am blown away by it all.

AKY - Above all, I am glad that Mike's passing was peaceful and that he was (as were you) surrounded by those you love the most. Nobody and nothing can replace that. I cannot imagine the pain you feel at losing the one you love the most. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

I wish I could reach through my computer and hug your neck, offer you a shoulder to cry on, a cup of warm tea, or just a silent presence. You are a special lady, and I appreciate all that you are.

This may sound corny, but it has helped me deal with the death of loved ones here in the last few months. One of my favorite movies is Steel Magnolias, and the part where Annelle tries to explain Shelby's death is (to me) one of the more comforting things re: death that I have heard.

"She is in a place where she will always be young, she will always be beautiful....and I personally feel much safer knowing that she's up there on my side."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xiRDsD18W4&feature=related

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

AKY - I think all has been said by other posters, but just wanted to let you know that there is another adding you and yours to their prayer list. Your dignity throughout all of this shines like a beacon. Prayers from another corner of the world on their way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i am so sorry i am late on this thread.

i wish i could give you a hug right now. i am so sorry for your tragic loss and i wanted to extend my condolences to you, AK. sending lots of prayers for you and your family. i hope you will be blessed with peace and strength during this difficult time. i am very glad that you got to be with your husband for his last moments. you have a very special angel with you now.

please reach out to your family here at AN when you need us. we love you!

this poem was given to me when i lost my boyfriend in college. it bought me great peace so i wanted to share.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die. "

Edited by flightnurse2b

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so very sorry to hear this. Words cannot convey my condolences adequately enough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh {{{{{{{{{AKY}}}}}}}} My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. It sounds like in the months before this Mike was trying to help you prepare for this time and even though you can never be totally ready you have his share of him and his love to help you. This will be an extremely hard period for you but remember we are all here for you when ever you need. Mike is in a better place and he is not suffering any more and he is at peace. You will be with him again and be happy. And remember, he is healthy again.

Whenever you are ready come back and visit us, I know that it will be hard at first. We all have you in our prayers and I know that many people along with me have gotten thier prayer groups to pray for you and yours and we will continue to do so. I wish I was there to give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on, but things are going to get better for you and your family.

Sonya

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all for your support. As Leslie said we were there when Mike passed quietly. My sons were with us and for a short time so was my MIL. The in-laws left today and one son is going to visit friends down south, flying out tomorrow. Other son and I will drive to the east coast, probably leaving tomorrow.

 

I hate leaving without Mike's ashes. I get scared that they could get lost or something. We want to get going as we want to plan a celebration of Mike's life for soon after we get to the coast. Both sons will be able to attend that. My daughter will come for that. She was not able to get here to see Mike due to weather but she spoke to him twice as we held the phone to his ear.

 

I am so blessed to have a wonderful family. I am additionally blessed to have all of you who are caring for me in ways the family cannot. I read your notes and can cry without feeling that one or the other son will notice and want to help me through that cry. I feel better after I read your honest caring. They are hurting also and I know they want to care for me, but my crying can't be stopped.

 

I was fortunate to have a wonderful husband. He loved being married. When others asked how long we had been married he would smile, twinkling his blue eyes, and say "Not long enough". I am sure it will take time to care about going on without him. I am taking the advice of all. I try to drink, eat, and sleep. I figure if I get a couple hours of sleep, drink some water and juice and eat what people put in front of me, I'll keep making it. Certainly I know the pain will increase before it is better. I am leaning on many around me. I have found so many people who want to help in their own ways, all have been a great help to me.

 

As we plan the celebration I will share with all of you some of the things we will include. Again thank you for the prayers, level headed suggestions, and hugs. I am comforted by these more than you will ever know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×

This site uses cookies. By using this site, you consent to the placement of these cookies. Read our Privacy, Cookies, and Terms of Service Policies to learn more.