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anzean_rn anzean_rn (New Member) New Member

"I want to set you up with him!"

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I am wondering if someone can offer me advice on how to nicely turn down co-workers when they want to "set me up" with one of their friends, so and so's son, third cousin's half brother, etc. I don't normally like to divulge too many details of my life at work (just personal preference) but I started a new job recently and one of the most common questions I'm asked after where I'm from is if I'm married/have children. This doesn't bother me at all - I want to get to know my co-workers and develop good relationships with them. But on FOUR different occasions so far nurses, after finding out I am single, have said "oh you would be so cute with my friend's brother - I should take down your number before leaving today" or something along those lines. The truth is, I have been single for about two years now but I am STILL not over my last (and only) relationship. And honestly, I don't know if I'll ever get there. I am very happy with my life and have fabulous friends and family, I do a lot of traveling and I am enjoying my independence. However, my heart still aches. I am fine "alone" (although I hate to use that term because I am NEVER alone with all my wonderful friends around) but some days I think it might be time to start dating again too. I am by no means waiting for a man to get my life started but finding someone special to share all my awesome adventures with would be an added benefit. Anyways, I do NOT want to date anyone that my coworkers set me up with in case things don't work out - I just feel like that would be too weird. But I don't want to seem unfriendly/unappreciative about it either. I also don't want to lie and say I'm not ready to date because this is not necessarily true. I am flattered they would think of me but I am not interested. What should I say? Any advice would be appreciated! And this is my very first post so please go easy on me!

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Practice (in front of a mirror if necessary): Smile, and say "No, thank you."

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A simple No thank you would suffice. Or you can smile and walk away

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Years ago before I met my husband, I let a coworker fix me up with a friend's son. We dated for 5 months

and then I ended the relationship, and yes it did create problems with my coworker. There were things about

the relationship that weren't setting well with me and I didn't want to get into it with the coworker about the

details.

Actually,you don't owe anyone an explanation when you decline their attempts to fix you up with someone.

It is perfectly ok to just say "no thanks" "not right now" "I'd rather not"....period.

You sound like you have your head on straight. You'll meet the right guy in your own way when it's the right

time for you.

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"I'm very flattered for the offer, but I just don't think my focus is on dating right now. But thank you."

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I am flattered they would think of me but I am not interested.

This would work very well.

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Oh geez, sorry about the problem with the margins in my reply.

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how about "you know, i just don't date people i've met thru work, because it gets complicated if things don't work out."

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I am wondering if someone can offer me advice on how to nicely turn down co-workers when they want to "set me up" with one of their friends, so and so's son, third cousin's half brother, etc. I don't normally like to divulge too many details of my life at work (just personal preference) but I started a new job recently and one of the most common questions I'm asked after where I'm from is if I'm married/have children. This doesn't bother me at all - I want to get to know my co-workers and develop good relationships with them. But on FOUR different occasions so far nurses, after finding out I am single, have said "oh you would be so cute with my friend's brother - I should take down your number before leaving today" or something along those lines. The truth is, I have been single for about two years now but I am STILL not over my last (and only) relationship. And honestly, I don't know if I'll ever get there. I am very happy with my life and have fabulous friends and family, I do a lot of traveling and I am enjoying my independence. However, my heart still aches. I am fine "alone" (although I hate to use that term because I am NEVER alone with all my wonderful friends around) but some days I think it might be time to start dating again too. I am by no means waiting for a man to get my life started but finding someone special to share all my awesome adventures with would be an added benefit. Anyways, I do NOT want to date anyone that my coworkers set me up with in case things don't work out - I just feel like that would be too weird. But I don't want to seem unfriendly/unappreciative about it either. I also don't want to lie and say I'm not ready to date because this is not necessarily true. I am flattered they would think of me but I am not interested. What should I say? Any advice would be appreciated! And this is my very first post so please go easy on me!

I feel the same way. I'm so happy single. I love my solitude. I just can't picture myself having a boyfriend right now.

I get that too. "Oh I want to set you up with.. " I say "Well thats very nice of you but I'm happy with how I am right now. "

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Yes always be polite and honest with the person who is trying to set you up. People tend to do that now and then they try to see how they can make your life better because maybe their life isn't understand. They picture what type of person would be good for you.

Kinda like sizing you up for the children you might have. Like ever see a co-worker and then you see thier spouse and you ask yourself how did he or she end up with that person. Well co-workers and parents do the same thing They can't believe you like to be single

Well co-worker's and friends and family tend to do the same . You may say I'm happy in my life. But we are so use of being unhappy and depressed people. And we can't imagine someone really being happy in their life. That we as people take upon ourselves to try to match make( They are just saying to themselves that if i can only fix them up with ______ ) they would be really happy.

So be polite and kind respectfully decline any advancement of theirs and don't even take a number if they offer it. Best to keep co-workers at bay. Just remember what Forest Gump once said.. ( Mama always said matchmaking is like a box of chocolates you never know what whack job your friends, family, and co-workers, are trying to pawn off on you).... Anthony

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Your response:

"Hmmmm ...does he have a lot of money?"

just kidding, not a good idea, but that would stop the offers, pretty much!

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Sadly, I have never ever EVER had that problem. lol!!

Mama always said matchmaking is like a box of chocolates you never know what whack job your friends, family, and co-workers, are trying to pawn off on you.... Anthony

ROFL!! ha ha - that's your funniest joke right there, Karma!

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