Bad puns, alliteration, characterization, or comments otherwise intended to generate a groan of some type.
There will be points awarded according to a wildly biased and feckless grading system. Any participant may award points, claim victory, or assign medals of achievement to any post or commenter.
As for me, I want to just die peacefully, in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car.