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  1. VickiannB

    Want to help obese daughter

    Thanks for your feedback. harsh yes, but sometimes that is good. After reading the feedback and thinking alot about this I have come to the realization that whenever my daughter tells me she is unhappy I start trying to fix things. What I need to do is exactly what you said, I need to "butt out". She,ll get it all figured out.. This has been very helpful! Thanks again for taking the time to respond to my post.
  2. VickiannB

    Want to help obese daughter

    My daughter is 36. She had a LapBand against my advice 3 years ago and went from 276lb to 255lb, she is 5'4". Once I realized this is what KB wanted I rallied behind her. I could see she was not dedicated to the ongoing support groups after surgery that are very important to the success of this surgery. As her mother I give advice but respect her choices as an adult, (KB rarely takes my advice). KB has never regained all her pre lap-band weight but also has never been below 225lbs and kept it off either. KB has a degree in Social Work and has a good job, is buying her own home (with a little help from us). KB talks of wanting to be married and have children yet lives a rather isolated and lonely life. She has a panic disorder and takes Effexor for over 10 years now ( this is where the weight gain started) also has PCOS to add to the difficulty of weight control. She has a couple friends but I truly believe it is her size that keeps her from a richer life (not in the monetary sense). KB is a very pretty girl and has a beautiful heart. Seeing her alone and not enjoying the things in life she should be doing at her age is making me increasingly unhappy. She and I just returned from a girls trip to Boston and I got glimses of how some people would stare at her (she carries most of her weight around her mid-section) or otherwise how just invisible she was to other people. I came home yesterday feeling very blue. And believe me my motto for 58 years has always been "the glass is always half full", I never let a day go by that I don't thank God for all my blessings. It isn't my life to change but you want your children to be happy. Any ideas on how to motivate my daughter to make healthy choices and lose some of this weight?

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