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LM NY

LM NY

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  1. LM NY

    I need advice from parents.

    Hey everyone I couldn't think of a better group of people to get advice from. Just a few things to point out so this doesn't turn into the longest post ever (which I have a feeling it will). I am a single mother of three, ages ranging from 8-11. Their father and I have been separated for almost seven years now. He spends a few hours with them on the weekend and some holidays if he is not scheduled to work. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he is not strict with the kids. He tries to buy their love with materialistic things. I am the complete opposite. Although I make more money than he does, I do not believe in frivolous spending. I do not give into their every single demand. I would be broke if I did. That was just the backstory. Just last month he agreed to start giving them an allowance, $10 every two weeks for each of the older kids and $5 for the younger one. Since I have been promising them for awhile I would be giving them an allowance, I thought I would give the same amount as their dad (not as a competition). My son already saved $65 and bought a new pair of sneakers the other day when he went out with his dad, while I was working. He already owns four other pairs, one of which he swears is too tight on him. I just want to raise money conscious children, that do not love spending all their money. My daughter already gave away $10, because she claims she owed her friend that lent her the money when she didn't have anything. I am starting to have mixed feelings about them having money. *What is an appropriate amount of allowance? *Should I have rules about how the money is spent? At the same time, I want them to learn how good it feels to save money and how awful it feels to have nothing when they spend it all. Aside from that, I did start passbook savings accounts for them. I let them fill out the deposit slips and they actually make the deposits at the teller's window themselves. Every few months, I will give them $100 and it goes into that account. They know it is for the future and not for use today. That was one topic. The next one is about girls trying to impress other girls. My daughter is 11 and she is one of the kindest and sweetest girls. However, she was recently body shamed by her own friends. They made a comment about her weight. She is on the thinner side of the scale, but completely healthy. I've always known my daughter to be confident, but she keeps going back to these same mean girls. I have been trying to teach her the value of friendships and how we need to cut people out sometimes if they do not make us feel good on the inside. Anyone have any words of wisdom or had a daughter in a similar situation. I want her to feel strong enough to speak up against them, as I know they are mean to other kids. There is still so much more I want to add, but I could already imagine the look on all your faces when you see the length of this post. Thanks!
  2. LM NY

    AN.com Anonymous

    I do... honor thy boobs
  3. LM NY

    AN.com Anonymous

    Is uncontrollable itching one of the symptoms? I think the ANitis has taken over... but I like the feeling, oh Far please comfort me.
  4. LM NY

    The Dad He Didn't Have To Be

    What a beautifully written tribute. Thank you so much for sharing. These AN articles keep making me cry. I am currently a single mother to three and always wonder in the back of my mind if my children will ever love another man and treat him like a father figure. Not only have you proved to me that it is possible, but you showed me it is possible for a man to love children that are not biologically his. Thank you again!
  5. LM NY

    I hate text messages!!!

    Don't just "like" my posts. I need you to decode the subliminal messages lol I was married for way too long and now feel so out of place. Of course, it is ten times harder having kids while trying to live the "single lady" life. This is going to sound stupid, but I really feel like once I get my flex three 12 hour shifts schedule, I can then really live my life. Now it's five days of work, then the kids get one whole day and the final day is catching up with laundry/cleaning/cooking extra meals for the week and putting in extra time for my BSN that I am working on online. I would rather put in my free time at the gym than a relationship lol. Just going to keep taking things really slow and strengthen the friendship I have with him now. The friendship will turn into a bond and the bond may turn into a nice diamond ring :sneaky: lol wishful thinking? Only time will tell.
  6. LM NY

    I hate text messages!!!

    lol... he was referencing a comment I made before. In that previous comment several weeks ago I told him jokingly I wouldn't give up on him, because he told me he lacks the "bold" factor. We text regularly and I think that five day silence had him thinking. I like this friendship we have developed so far. Ugh! Yes, I need some tea.
  7. LM NY

    I hate text messages!!!

    lol... After the New Year's texts, so much has been going on in my unit that I never get to take my lunch break nor do I leave on time. There was no peep from him and I didn't want to be the first to initiate. So, yesterday morning he texts me and asks how I am doing and to "not give up on him". Coincidentally, I ran into him early this morning as I am going in to work. He had an early meeting today. He has a beautiful smile and glow when I see him and I am sure I look just as cheesy to him lol.
  8. LM NY

    I hate text messages!!!

    I think I would still be careful, even if he hadn't said it. Just because I don't ever want to let my guard down and be blinded by him or any other man for that matter. He has seen how supportive I am and may just feel comfortable using terms of endearment. He told me when his son was hospitalized with DKA and was diagnosed for the first time with diabetes. He said he will never forget how I was there for him and kept him calm. He also had some baby momma drama that he opened up to me about and I gave him sound advice. And most recently on Christmas Eve, I was having lunch with him when he received a phone call from his bank about unauthorized charges of over $1000. I could tell he was upset about it. I'm not in an actual relationship with him, but have proven the type of person I am. Lol @Far, we are back to deciphering texts. Thank God for AN ☺
  9. LM NY

    I hate text messages!!!

    Update: He texted me around 9:30pm New Year's Eve to say "Happy New Year my dear" and I texted him back wishing the same. He then texted me a few minutes after midnight and wrote "Happy New Year love". I texted him the next morning and jokingly said "you probably meant to send that second new year text to another chick lmao". He then replied and said "no I knew who I was sending it to". My heart melted ... OK guys this feels funny posting updates. Hope you aren't secretly saying "loser" lol
  10. LM NY

    OMG This Actually Exists...

    I agree about the look with a beard. Some of them look really good. I have seen it more recently in NY, but more of the messy look as mentioned earlier.
  11. LM NY

    OMG This Actually Exists...

    It says 1000 bought. That means in the next few weeks we will start spotting men with these buns.
  12. LM NY

    I hate text messages!!!

    lol thanks Farawyn... Although I know it and feel it, it is nice to hear it from another person's perspective. We both have these cheesy smiles when we see each other. I bumped into him today as I was leaving the hospital and there he was wearing the gift I bought him. It looked so nice and my attraction for him increased that very moment seeing him wearing it. Ugh! I think about him a lot, but I reaaaalllyyy want to take it super slow. Call me "old-fashioned", but if he is genuinely interested then he will stick around and continue to get to know me. No Stars in My Eyes- your mom sounds really cool and fun. It's nice having someone that you can just turn to about anything. Companions are so underrated. Will continue to update lol
  13. LM NY

    Son wants to go to high school in my hometown

    I wish my ex-husband did one eighth of what you are doing for your son. Respect your son's decision, otherwise he may be miserable through out all the years he will be in High School. If the father of my children was that involved, I would be 100% supportive of his decision (within reason) and do my best to work with him. I wish you the best of luck and hope that the best decision is made based on your son's needs/requests.
  14. As of right this second, any extra dollar I have is going towards paying off debt. I want to be debt free before I put a penny in a retirement or savings account. The scary thing is, I don't know what to do. I have this fear of saving up all this money and then poof, it's all gone. Not because I spent it, but for some crazy government or corrupt bank reason. I feel ok right now knowing my social security deductions are taking care of people like my parents and older relatives who did their time. It is still unfair that what should have been a guaranteed payment is treated as an entitlement. I have three kids and as much as I would like them to get a city/state college education, I wouldn't get in their way if they were accepted to a prestigious university. Until then, I will be using those extra pennies to get an extra gallon of milk.
  15. LM NY

    You Have Just ONE Wish...

    *Fulfilled my childhood dream of becoming a nurse---check *God blessed me with healthy children---check *I don't have desires for money... So, as lame as this sounds, I would be grateful and appreciative if I had an amazing husband. Yes, that would be my wish. A companion, lover, best friend and partner in crime all wrapped into one man.
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