For fear that the nurse to who I'm referring may stumble upon this post, and because the following examples will be described in detail and ad nausem I pose this as a hypothetical scenario and the names of all participants have been changed to protect the innocent.
First off, I understand this is probably a bad idea. The forums have been back and forth and most folks have very strong opinions about "Dipping your pen in the company ink". However, as a new grad male nurse, I've found that women in general have been more confusing than... well... ill leave it at confusing. What I'm looking for are new perspectives and advice for possible courses of action. So with that stated, on to what we will call a "case study."
As stated before, I'm a new grad male nurse on a busy progressive care unit in a medium sized metropolitan hospital, and I have a bit of a crush..., okay I'm smitten, with one of our new hire RNs. She's a couple of years younger than I am, and we've already been out to dinner once.
It started off innocently enough, with subtle flirting, lingering glances, big smiles when passing in the hall, and her fake punching me as a greeting (still don't get that one, but from what I hear it's a good thing?). So naturally, bring a man, and taking some of these subtle, and not so subtle hints. I in passing one afternoon while working a shift mentioned that we should "do dinner". To which she said yes and later on that evening, in between 2 day shifts, we went to a nearby restaurant and had a pleasant evening of food, fun, and laughter. We got to know each other a bit more and the more I learned the more I was interested.
After that evening it was more of the same flirting, and me asking her out, however, now I was getting excuse after excuse, snowboarding, her favorite TV shows, and on Valentines Day plans with her mother(okay I'll lose to this one every time)**, topping the list of excuses she's used. I understand a young new nurse is busy, but if I was making the effort, how am I supposed to take this?
**When she was telling me about these plans with mom I'd already asked her, and the day before the big day, while sitting in front of the monitor/nurses station, she jumps up, gives me a huge hug and whispers in my ear her apology in front of everyone.
Then a few days later,as I've tried to tone things down from my end (i.e. keep to myself for the morning), in an effort to help me get over her and what seems like constant rejection (to me using "plans" as excuses for not going out still constitutes a no), she "turns it up" so to speak and while I'm charting, walks up behind me, hugs me from behind and sneaks a kiss on my cheek in and asks about why she didn't get a hug today(more confusing behavior). It being a weekend shift, where there were no administrators, and we can "let our hair down" a bit so to speak, my co-workers had been playfully talking of setting me up with their friends, and even one of our transporters asked me if I was seeing anyone. So while feeling a bit more confident I reveled in the talking. My crush was within earshot (of the co-worker talk, not the transporter) and was visibly upset and jealous, stormed off and spoke to a neutral party* (*a secretary who kind of knows what's going on from both perspectives) about it. To which she was advised to "talk to me" about it.
Our conversation summed up ended with, her knowing how I feel. That I like her enough that I would regret not taking a chance, and her being justifiably scared to mess things up at new jobs we both love and her checkered past of hurtful relationships. But I was honestly left with more questions than answers. And lately we've been taking things slow, a day at a time so to speak, so it's notes in the locker we share, and the flirting. But I've been thinking that perhaps I should branch out, I do have other prospects, (thankfully not co-workers, cause that would just be a t.v. show) but I don't want to hurt her, and I meant what I said about regretting not giving the two of us a fair shot.
I've taken to nursing pretty well, and have taken more responsibilities on not only our unit but in the hospital as well. So when I asked her out It was not something I took lightly. I have just so much time to think about what's going on with this that it affects my mood and I've named the growing painful knot in my shoulder after my crush, who I know is the cause. So, I put it to you, my peers, and soon to be peers. What am I to do with this situation. Discuss...
Male RN with a knot