Well, to answer your question..NO, I would not stay in that situation. Easier said than done, huh? :)
I can't imagine him having a seperate account than me. That sounds fishy already. It sounds like maybe he is already preparing for something that you aren't included in now and won't be in the future. Big red flag.:nono: It's time to address the situation, don't waste another breath being unhappy or sacrificing your hard earned career for him. Most importantly...talk to him...You never know what he could be feeling, too. If you're not the "therapy" type buy a book that teaches you how to communicate (The one my husband and I used was called "Couple Skills"...soo helpful)...and it sounds like what you guys are missing.
If you don't have any desire to stay (which sounds like you still do since you're here asking for advice) or he doesn't then you have your answer. It's unfortunate when kids get brought into it, but if you can do it right and get information on co-parenting; it won't be so bad. Kids are affected when parents are unhappy or there is trauma from the divorce...cut those two things out of the equation and you will make it.