(H'lo!)...Nannie Tales / Chapter #67,998,754
Hubby and I got an early start on the errands--pharmacy, just a few odds and ends of groceries, And most importantly, Nannie needed pj's.,cotton underpants, and socks.
I told hubby I was tired of trying to find out if any of those items were in the wash, or needed to go in the wash; plus she is always saying she can't find her socks, or doesn't have enough pj bottoms or cotton undies...she has to change everything either at night or in the morning, in spite of the multiple disposable products she uses.
Her socks are so full of holes because of her toenails, but if she wants her toenails trimmed well, she will have to bite the bullet and go to pay a foot-doctor. I mean, *I* worked with a podiatrist and know how to deal with fungal toenails, but both hubby and I have tried and given up because she is a jerker and a shreiker ...and THAT'S just from anticipation! ie, no accidental clips or stabs or anything that would cause pain or bleeding.
We brought home a GIANT box of pull-ups and a GIANT box of extra-long, number 6 pads. She calls them sanitary napkins. She said she had to put 2 pads on the crotch of her cotton panties, and then she puts pull-ups over that.
Hubby said "Why are you wearing two pads?" -----"Because my FLOW is so HEAVY." He told her she hasn't had a period for the last 30 years, and she said she certainly did so....EVERY MONTH! He said, "well, we bring in pads and absorbent panties every week, not every month." She started to get mad, when she said, "All I know is, my flow is heavy!"
I kept my mouth firmly closed. I WANTED to ask why her 'flow' wasn't red!?! I wanted to ask, "if you have such a large amount of flow, WHERE IS IT COMING OUT FROM?" ..... Some of you may remember her telling anyone who would listen ( like in mixed company of church members at a Hardee's, after a church service), that her doctor said she couldn't even get her little finger in her (Nannie's) vagina ...because "It's all completely grown together and closed up!" And that's why (she continued) she "could not have her bladder catheterized" and "they had to go in the other way." ! ! !
WHAT other way? I was afraid to ask! The very first time I heard her tell that tale, I said, "But you don't get to the bladder through the vagina!" She said her "cooter" being all stuck/grown together, they had to find another way to go in to the bladder. She was adamant about it, so I let the subject drop. Next time she was starting to tell that version of her "down-there" anecdote, I put my hands to my head, scrinched up my face, and said, "OOOhhhh, I don't want to hear about your closed up cooter!!!!" She laughed. I wasn't being funny!!!
Ball game is on early today...
Tawk whichoo's'all laydah!