Tweety, I read your post from yesterday to my hubby, also 3 links my sister sent me about the ins and outs of what we are facing. So, his conclusion now is that first we have to find an agency and their lists of fees. He said "Surely they wouldn't charge to 'open a case...' and I said, "They aren't going to send an RN out to do gobs of paper work for nuthin'!!!" Nanny will be covering the costs, though you are right about none of us not having a good amount, financially. She doesn't have much of anything except the $ she saved for her funeral, and maybe $8,000 in her checking acct. She does have investments w/ Edward Jones, and SS (although she never worked). But none of it is bottomless. All hubby and I have is our SS checks each month. BUT, the upshot was that the discussion has started in earnest. We have no neighbors or church-folk who we'd be able to ask to sit w/ her when we go to see an eldercare attorney; she needs an experienced aide who is bigger than her and, sorry to say, not black. (Southern old folks...what a pain, and embarrassing, as well!)
Anyway, I hope to gently push him a little over the weekend to draw up an initial plan and make an appt w/ an eldercare lawyer first thing next week. Her doc said he would be willing to testify in court that she is incompetent; we need to find out, too, if we need a , what, neurologist/psychiatrist, whatever-ist? Hope to get on the ball next week. Seems how weekends always save hubby from having to do something until later. I am willing to help, but I can't set everything up so he can just walk through it; HE has to have a professional guide him. It isn't MY mother, and I am not willing to take on the entire task of straightening out and setting up for all her needs. It would make me bat-guano crazy and quite resentful to boot.
BCg, I am so sorry to hear about your cat being gone so long; it is worrisome, for sure. I am comforting myself about Pippy by thinking of her in dog-heaven, having been greeted by some of my previous very-favorite dogs, Fang and Moosie in particular; plus she'll have no more toothaches or hip pains, cataracts, or compensating for being a runt. The one thing hardest for me is remembering the look she gave me from her white eyes, like "Aren't you coming with me???" I felt so awful seeing her led away because of that. I wish I had carried her to where they were taking her. With the way she struggled about being held was the reason I didn't go to hold her for 'the procedure.'
The biggest reason we had to have her put down was, among the things mentioned above, the vet had said her back teeth and gums were so awful, she'd need at least 3 weeks on antibiotics, which would do nothing to stop the bleeding; also, that because of her age and bones, he couldn't guarantee her lower jaw-bone wouldn't snap, even if he was careful pulling those two teeth. We're talking several thousand dollars for everything.
She was exactly 12 years and one month old, to the day. We gave her a great life, she was a happy, spoiled-sweet little dog who wanted to be beside me all the time. It's sad, but it's part of life, and I have had to have many pets in my 70 years put down...usually due to old-age and old-age problems. I know I'm a good fur-baby Mom, but still, saying goodbye forever is HARD, even when it's the best thing for the pet.
I have to bail out here, stuff is happening. (Surprise!) Talk to y'all later.