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  1. kristi1105

    "I want to set you up with him!"

    From my experience it is better just to say no thank you. When you offer excuses they will find a way to argue with you about it but with a "no" they can't argue with you.
  2. kristi1105

    Love Wins

    I am on my way to the bookstore to pick it up after reading your description of it. Of course if there is a rapture tomorrow at 6pm I might not be able to finish it. :specs:
  3. kristi1105

    When do differences makre or break a relationship

    My family can not stand him. They have seen the tears and the broken heart and the wanting to bail. He bailed emotionally and physically when I needed him during dialysis. I had a long conversation with my sister today and told her I honestly wished he would have walked. I told him when all of this went down I wouldn't blame him if he walked. It is a lot to take in and deal with. I honestly think it was because I was so overwhelmed with everything. I am not afraid to be alone or single. I was happiest after my divorce and before he moved down here. I guess I am more upset with myself for missing the signs and making excuses for him.
  4. kristi1105

    When do differences makre or break a relationship

    I think in my mind I have known he hasn't been treating me right but unfortunately mind and heart don't communicate or listen to each other. I have made every excuse in the book for him and you all are very right. I just wish I had figured this out so much earlier instead of wasting 3 years in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere and that was destructive to my well being. I have to admit nursing school and my health obstacles have made me realize my worth and given me strength I never thought I would have ever had or notice at points in my life I was struggling with. Now my biggest challenge yet...How do I make sure I don't put myself in a relationship like that again...
  5. kristi1105

    When do differences makre or break a relationship

    On the nights I was on dialysis he was playing pool or out with friends. The night I was meeting my surgeon for placement of an emergency peritoneal catheter put in for dialysis he was an hour late with my jeans because he was helping his dad with a fuel filter. I had told him the surgeon would be in to see me at 7pm and he showed up at 8pm. He told everyone he was divorced on that forum but claimed he didn't care what people thought. He swears that relationships are a game of chase. He says that women leave because there is no challenge anymore. To prove it to his friend they went to a bar and let some chic buy him a beer and flirt with him...or so he says. It was Halloween of 2009 and I was home doing my dialysis that night and he wasn't going to tell me. I have made every excuse in the book for him. I think I let him get away with everything because when we met I wasn't interested at all, he wasn't my "type". I wasn't after a relationship, I just figured I didn't remember him so it would be fun to meet up. Let's just say he say me and posted on the forum that I was well endowed, that is the PG version, and I drove an Audii. Like I said I blame myself because I can be naiive. I should have started checking the internet when he couldn't pull himself away from that garbage long enough to have a conversation. I am a very simple girl. I can't even talk to him about nursing school and I am super excited about it. I feel like when I am in school and doing clinicals I could just burst with happiness and excitement. I really feel like this is what I was meant to do.
  6. Hello! I am Kristi and I am a nursing student in Florida.
  7. kristi1105

    What my patient taught me about life

    I really wish you could tell that story to everyone. It gave me goosebumps when I read it. Many people want to feel sorry for myself...I have done it myself at times. I also remind my fellow transplant friends that children with cancer always smile and they know they are dying and here we have been given a second chance to live with a new organ and there are those who complain because of a rejection scare. Reality is those children don't get a second chance to live and they know it and they smile. Life is taken advantage by so many people.
  8. kristi1105

    When do differences makre or break a relationship

    I wish I was kidding with you!!!! He has some good qualities but like I said some...not so great. I have been dealing with a lot going through dialysis:eek: and then dealing with transplantation. It has been such an emotional roller coaster ride for me. I was dealing with my mom giving her my kidney and the ups and downs of immunosuppression while going to school. Until recently I guess I just wanted to believe what he said and believe him when he said I overreacted or was just being insecure. Mostly I think I just wanted to believe that when I had so much in my life that was falling apart he wasn't one of the parts. I am stronger now, mentally and physically, and able to deal with that part of my life. I guess I have been mentally evaluating before now and haven't been able to really "deal" with it because of everything else that was going on. Ironically one of my nurses that was with me during a heartbreaking crying episode in the hospital told me I should leave him bc in nursing school I will be exposed to a ton of guys and will have no time for a relationship. :w00t: I just don't want to be sure that what I am feeling isn't "irrational".
  9. kristi1105

    When do differences makre or break a relationship

    Leslie, I blame myself for putting up with it and in a way aiding him in his treatment of me. Now, however, I am almost 2 years post transplant and I am acing nursing classes that everyone stuggles with. I think I mostly put up with it because I was not confident enough to stand up to him or to walk away. I know without a doubt I can do all this on my own and if I have to move back home then I will. I spent many a night during dialysis crying and at home by myself because it was "my deal". I have spent many days in the hospital, including the night post transplant, by myself. I understand that he was scared but I was scared to death and I had myself and God to turn to. I am realistic that in another 10-15 years I will be undergoing these challenges and I am not sure I am willing to risk him handling it better. He makes me doubt myself and how I feel about stuff so I guess I am asking people from an objective stand point that understands the challenges of nursing school...btw I love the challenges...and the nursing profession. I have taken the obstacles that have been placed in front of me and made something good from it. Not to knock any nurses out there who are dialysis or transplant nurses but there is nothing more frustrating than to be told "I understand what you are going through" or "peritoneal dialysis is not that bad". My drive to be a nurse is to be the one nurse that can relate and empathize with those people and know that when they say PD hurts, they are not over reacting. :hug:
  10. kristi1105

    When do differences makre or break a relationship

    I guess part of the reason I am asking is because I do suspect we are not compatible. I also start nursing school in August and I know we are not supposed to have any dramatic changes in our life. I understand each person is an individual and if you love someone you love all of them. However, some of these items I was not aware of until recently and we have been dating for 3 years. The boyfriend and I met back in 2008 on Myspace because ironically enough we went to high school together but did not know one another. At the time we started seeing each other he lived in Wisconsin and I lived in Florida. To give you the cliff note version, I ended up getting pregnant and he convinced the job to let him work remotely from Florida. I did not find out until he was on his way down to Florida in Oct. 2008 he was still married although separated for many years. I then had a miscarriage, went into end stage renal failure, and was put on PD dialysis. There is other stuff he has hidden from me such as contact with exs and comments he has met to his online buddies. I would not find contact with an ex a problem except it was hidden from me...purposely...and because the contact was a joke text asking her DTF? The females however decided to send me a copy of what he sent to them to me. I guess they didn't think it was appropriate either or maybe wanted to cause problems. He also had pictures and letters from exs up until the blow up about 2 months ago. The second thing is the constant referral to his exs. I have never compared him to any of my exs and he threw in my face that one of his exs gave him blow jobs every morning before work. Same ex bought him an expensive watch, spoiled him rotten with gifts, and drove a Cadillac. I was excited about being able to wear cute scrubs and get a light blue stethoscope and the response was about how the ex had a $500 stethoscope with tons of different scrubs. I have a heart plaque in my living room his wife gave him for Valentines day that I have to look at everyday. I should not know his sexual relationships other than whether he was protected when having sex with them. It has affected the sex life and will continue to bc I can't get his comments out of my head. I really think our sense of humor is very different. Maybe I am more mature or need to lighten up but when he tells me that the single guys on his forum are trying to get girls on a christian dating website to give up their morals and sleep with them I am repulsed. I also found where he asked them for a pick up line on how to get a hot girl in the mile high club when he was on the plane. I was not amused in fact I was so mad I was shaking. I like to think of myself as pretty easy going and friendly. I would give the shirt of my back to someone and he is not like that. I wanted to get braces to correct the little gap I have in my front teeth and he needed to get his front teeth done bc they were really bad. So I forked out $4000 and got his teeth done bc he didn't have the money and bc he said I acted like I wasn't committed. I can't tell you how many times I have been told I am selfish while in this relationship. Now don't get me wrong I am not an angel but I am a good unselfish person. I know I can do whatever I set my mind to and I know without a doubt in the world I am going to be an awesome nurse. I am a very strong individual not just bc of all my experiences and conquering a kidney transplant but bc I have a strong will to do something good and meaningful in my life. Don't get me wrong, he is a good guy. Our relationship sucked while I was going through dialysis but we reconnected after I had my transplant. I was Ms. Second Place the entire first part of our relationship and didn't really see it or know how to deal with it. Now however, I won't be Ms. Second Place bc I deserve more. I guess I don't want to end up being Ms. Rose Colored Glasses.
  11. Hello All, So how do you know when you and your SO are too different to be together?:uhoh3: How do you resolve the differences in your senses of humor?:confused:
  12. I guess the end of a relationship is what I fear but won't be surprised if it happens. I know without a doubt if it comes to that I will survive it. I am a survivor. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years this month. I know becoming a nurse is what I was meant to do. I questioned the purpose of me getting sick with kidney failure, being on dialysis, and then the challenge of a kidney transplant. All of the experiences have led me to the decision to become a nurse and enabled me to pursue my dream. I am making straight A's and made a 90 on the TEAS test and I know without a doubt it is all driven by the desire to be the best nurse possible. However, we have had many disagreements about school. I come home excited about something I have learned and he doesn't want to hear about it and doesn't care. Or he doesn't understand about the amount of studying or effort that needs to be put into school. Of course there is also the time I came home excited about a light blue stethoscope and was informed his ex had one that cost over $500. I am still a little bitter :banghead:He likes the idea of how much money I will make and has said that after school then we can get married...we will need the tax exemption. :no: I know without a doubt if it is a choice between him and school...a nurse I will be.:nurse:
  13. Hi everyone! I was wondering if everyone's significant other was supportive of them while they were studying and living the nursing student's, head buried in book, life? A few of the girls at school have also mentioned that they were not receiving a great deal of support at home while others have awesome significant others. It has been my observation that most of the SO's who were not as supportive didn't undergo the stressful life of nursing school much less college. Opinions and personal experiences would be appreciated. :lol2:
  14. kristi1105

    Sorry you can't afford to "live".

    I had a kidney transplant in December 09 and was on dialysis for a year. My medication just for immune suppression is over $5000/month. Oddly enough dialysis was more expensive than the immune suppression medication and the insurance companies are more willing to pay for dialysis than the immune suppression medication.

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