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  1. anzean_rn

    On a downward spiral

    Hi Poi Dog, I just wanted to say that I've been where you're at. After my 5 year relationship fell apart I was in a very, very dark place. I seriously couldn't even get out of bed or eat for the first three days. And it took a LONG time before I could get though an entire day without crying. It has been two years now since that relationship ended and I'd be lying if I said I don't think about it anymore. However, I can honestly say that I am happier now than I ever have been. Your wounds will heal but you will always have the scars to remind you. My advice is to keep busy and spend lots of time with friends and family. I signed up for a cooking class and like you, began exercising on a regular basis and these things helped. In the beginning you might be tempted to contact your ex but please give yourself time before you establish a connection (if you choose to at all) - it will only bring heartache and delay healing. I wouldn't wish what you are going though on my worst enemy, but you are strong and will get through it (I know you must be a strong person because you are a nurse!) Hang in there.
  2. anzean_rn

    "I want to set you up with him!"

    I am wondering if someone can offer me advice on how to nicely turn down co-workers when they want to "set me up" with one of their friends, so and so's son, third cousin's half brother, etc. I don't normally like to divulge too many details of my life at work (just personal preference) but I started a new job recently and one of the most common questions I'm asked after where I'm from is if I'm married/have children. This doesn't bother me at all - I want to get to know my co-workers and develop good relationships with them. But on FOUR different occasions so far nurses, after finding out I am single, have said "oh you would be so cute with my friend's brother - I should take down your number before leaving today" or something along those lines. The truth is, I have been single for about two years now but I am STILL not over my last (and only) relationship. And honestly, I don't know if I'll ever get there. I am very happy with my life and have fabulous friends and family, I do a lot of traveling and I am enjoying my independence. However, my heart still aches. I am fine "alone" (although I hate to use that term because I am NEVER alone with all my wonderful friends around) but some days I think it might be time to start dating again too. I am by no means waiting for a man to get my life started but finding someone special to share all my awesome adventures with would be an added benefit. Anyways, I do NOT want to date anyone that my coworkers set me up with in case things don't work out - I just feel like that would be too weird. But I don't want to seem unfriendly/unappreciative about it either. I also don't want to lie and say I'm not ready to date because this is not necessarily true. I am flattered they would think of me but I am not interested. What should I say? Any advice would be appreciated! And this is my very first post so please go easy on me!