I am so sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine losing a parent.
No, you are definitely not alone. I am estranged from some of my immediate family, but my husband is very close to his. His family is very loving and supportive, but for some reason...it highlights all the negative feelings I have about some of mine and this time of year just exacerbates the thoughts that are normally easier to push away. I could go on...but, I'll spare you. No, you're not alone.