People who post in this vein are generally so fixated on their prejudice of fat people that they completely fail to see their condemnation for what it is. NO ONE has even suggested that anyone who is fat should be "enabled!" The point that everyone is missing is that you can't bring that attitude of condemnation to the discussion, wrap it up in the guise of helping, and expect that fat people will embrace your words and feel supported to lose weight just because you say that they are not intended to offend anyone!
Would you have felt particularly enamored of someone who exuded an air of disgust while they were telling you to quit smoking? Would you have found that helpful? Seriously?
You say you are helping your husband to change his lifestyle. Do you beat him over the head with the fact that he is fat? Do you tell him that you don't get what the problem is, that all he has to do is to simply stop stuffing his face and exercise? I'm betting not, because if you did, he would be like most people and push back.
And I will reiterate what I've already said a couple of times. Do you really think that most people, especially nurses, DON'T ALREADY KNOW what it takes to lose weight? "All you had to do" to quit smoking was put down the cigarettes, but by your own admission you didn't quit smoking until you were faced with a major health issue. You had to get to a point where there was strong enough motivation. How is that any different for those who need to lose weight?
Let me make this perfectly clear, since some are still missing my point. I have NOT been arguing the "how" or "why" of losing weight, or that it isn't necessary. I have NOT been arguing that it's OK to be fat or that anyone should be "enabled" to stay fat. What I HAVE been arguing is the attitude (prejudice and condemnation), content (don't assume that fat people are completely ignorant of what it takes to lose weight, many of them know more than you do), and timing (it isn't necessary to constantly nag) of the information when delivered.