cjohns889

cjohns889

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Content by cjohns889

  1. Hey there everyone! Okay, so I am totally aware that this website is for student nurses/nurses/LPNs/etc. who are seeking advice pertaining to the job field. However, I am stuck in a rut and have no where else to turn... and this website always provides the best, most real advice out there! [Probably has to do with the fact that most people who go into nursing are very similar: sociable, caring, driven, down to earth, smart... I could go on!] :) Background: I'm about to start my second year of nursing school. Always scary, but I am starting pediatrics - finally something I think I will like! I've written on this website before in order to get advice regarding my anxiety towards the responsibilities of the profession and if it is really the major for me. What I need help with though, has to do with one word: MEN. Okay, so I am 21 years old but very mature for my age and have been ready to settle down with someone for the past 2 years (since my last "serious" relationship). Not necessarily get married, but you know... a real relationship that could one day lead to that. I've had my share of flings, dates, and relationships... but I know I'm ready for real love. There's finally this guy, and he is totally perfect... by the books at least. He is 23, graduated in engineering and about to get a job. He is someone who would never hurt me, he is very nice, he is cute, he REALLY likes me. That's the problem though... he REALLY REALLY likes me. To a smothering extent... I think. See, I'm not sure if it's just me, or if he really is too much. Is there a such thing as being too nice? Examples/further explanations: he is a 23 yr old virgin, so I have a feeling he is just really horny and really into me and hasn't had the dating experience I've had, so he probably just doesn't know you should play a little hard to get. The other night he told me "you're so pretty" about 5 times within 10 minutes each other... it just makes it not special. I've been through a lot [really hard times in high school] and it's made me the strong woman I am today! Furthermore, I am not used to anything coming so easily... I work for what I get. This is just too easy though... like "why are you so obsessed with me... back off!" Does that make sense? Tonight he texted me "goodnight, hope to dream of you" and I just want to scream. It's too soon for that! I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I do/did like him, but when he starts getting so obsessive I get turned off and then can't seem to switch it back off until time goes by and I realize what is gone. We met a few months ago, this cycle of him being way too into it happened and I ended it, then summer loneliness came and I did some relationship research etc. and realized that he has many qualities that you want in a man. That even though there may not be this "amazing spark" and "infatuation" on my behalf, that that's not what matters in the end once time, marriage, kids, etc. comes along. I therefore came to my senses, had a talk with him and said "let's just be friends and see where things go" but then we just started acting like we were dating again and that's led to now, the same situation all over again. I know there are so many fabulous women on this website who have amazing insight from just having experience with boys and marriage and also knowing that stressful times (ie. nursing school) may be just making me subconsciously push him away in efforts to only handle so much at one time. He really is a great person, and I WANT to want him, just don't know if I could ever be at his level if I'm already this turned off. Thanks in advance and look forward to hearing from you all!
  2. cjohns889

    What can you do with RN degree?

    Bkgd: I'm a second year nursing student. I started off college in psychology, which has always been my passion. I changed to nursing because so many people (parents, other adults, peers, etc.) told me that you can't get a job in psych without a pHD and that nursing was just the better choice. I listened, because I could envision myself in the scrubs and being a nurse - I mean working with people is what I wanted most... and helping them would be really rewarding, right? Well, I've never been super pumped/in love with it. I think a big part of that has to do with the fact that I get really bad anxiety regarding school/new things, and I'm sure all of you know that that just comes with the training. I'm finally in the pediatrics class, and I DO finally feel like I could do that in the future... maybe... but I still don't feel incredibly passionate about it/not excited as I thought I would. It's too late to start back any other career choice, so I guess I just wanted to ask what else you can do with an RN/nursing degree. Is there anything besides bedside nursing? People always say "you'll have so many different options" - but what are they? FYI: Yes, I've thought about psych nursing too... but when I did my mental health round it wasn't my favorite (when I was in psychology, I wanted to be a therapist... and psych nurses don't really do that!) Any ideas/advice/similar stories would be appreciated! Can't wait to hear!
  3. cjohns889

    What can you do with RN degree?

    Thanks guys! Will def check those out!
  4. cjohns889

    Life advice needed for student nurse!

    Thanks for all the advice guys! it's wonderful to hear that chemistry exists out there and that it will come.. one day! It's just a little hard when there's so little time/boys with nursing school :/
  5. cjohns889

    Life advice needed for student nurse!

    Thanks so much for sharing that with me, Ginnipher! I guess it is just scary because I want a boyfriend/companion so badly, and I know I'm just 21 but when you are ready, you're ready! But being that my head is in the books all the time, not to mention 99% of my class consists of the female gender (and that 1% is about 3 boys, 2 with girlfriends and 1 gay), it really is scary. Like... HOW will I even meet a guy when I barely even get to meet new ones/have a social life?! Am I really going to have to wait til I'm out of school.. and when I am, where will I find him? I'm glad you said that though. I was reading this book "Marry Him: The Case of Settling for Mr. Good enough" and it basically says that you shouldn't wait for a spark because that's ridiculous and always fades. It's refreshing to here that maybe I just don't like him and that's that... that we just aren't going to have a spark with everyone, even if they do have all the "textbook best boyfriend" qualities.
  6. cjohns889

    What is the best way 4 me 2 lose weight. Need 2 lose 60pds?

    It's definitely a plus/helps! You are burning more than you think.
  7. cjohns889

    What is the best way 4 me 2 lose weight. Need 2 lose 60pds?

    You're so welcome! I'm glad to help! Various sources say you should try to work out "most days a week." I'd recommend aiming for 4 - it's realistic, a little more than half of the days in a week, and a good starting point! Being in the nursing profession helps because you are constantly on your feet... it's more working out than you think! To answer your question, yes - cardio + weight training is probably the best combination. Personally, I rarely lift weights/do weight training because I get bored too easily... but that is the best way if you want to tone your muscles. Let me know if you have any other questions!
  8. cjohns889

    Nail Polish

    I'm in agreeance with everyone else - with all the hand washing/germ-exing we do on a daily basis, chipping always results! I do have to say that I find OPI products last the longest. Putting a clear base coat before/after helps, too! Plus, if you look at the bottom of the OPI bottle, read the name - they are always really cute and clever... and I know it's cheesy, but it makes me smile each time! :)
  9. cjohns889

    Life advice needed for student nurse!

    Update: He called me tonight to "see what I've been up to" (I've greatly decreased the amt. of conversations we've had the past week) and then proceeded to say he "really wanted to get together to talk about us." He has a positive tone in his voice, meaning his state of complete oblivion remains even though he has noticed we haven't even been talking much, aka I've been pulling away. -Please tell me all guys aren't this oblivious- I have a crammed next two weeks of studying and studying only, and the mini breaks I take are none that would cause any stress whatsoever... aka: going to dinner to turn someone down and then who-knows-what is not on my list of things to do! When I explained that I have an insane week of school work, he persisted... but finally said "well we can just talk about it over the phone." Unsure of what exactly he is going to say -prob somewhere along the lines of "let's take this to the next level"- but I guess I better prepare a good response before I call him in the next few days! Blech.
  10. cjohns889

    Life advice needed for student nurse!

    Thank you all for your input - so happy to read the many different perspectives! Rn/writer - be looking for a PM from me once I have reached 15 posts :)
  11. cjohns889

    overeating & disgusted

    First of all, please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are so many people throughout the world who incorrectly use food as a comfort rather than nourishment, especially Americans! I myself have struggled with emotional eating that leads to endless extra calories and therefore extra pounds! I understand how depressed, angry, mad, and discouraged it makes you feel... especially because you are going through nursing school in the midst! I know you posted this a while ago, but I just came across it and wanted to give any advice/help that I could. I hope you have already began to move forward and that you no longer are in the same position as when you posted this originally, but if so... don't worry! You can and will beat this! First of all, take a few deep breaths (yes, right now!). It's great that you cut out caffeine - that def. helps lower stress levels! Try to incorporate other relaxation techniques into your daily lifestyle. For ex, anytime you are beginning to feel antsy/on the verge of wanting to pig out, take at least 10 big/deep/slow breaths. Get yourself a glass of water. Keep your mind in reality "Hey, I'm okay!" Figure out what is stressing you and journal about it. Phone a friend. Go for a walk. Paint your nails. Put on some soft music and stretch. Whatever you do, try not to panic or go towards the kitchen. Easier said that done, I know. Losing weight is hard, and tackling emotional eating is even harder. However, you can tackle it and overcome it! If you have tried and tried and tried on your own, you may want to look into therapy or seeing a nutritionist. Overeaters anonymous groups would be excellent as well! Also, write down a list of a few friends that you can call anytime you feel like you are about to binge. From personal experience, some may not really know what to say/how to help, but there are definitely some who will understand and will be willing to listen and give you advice. For those who don't really know what to say, that's okay - just let them distract you and give you support! Here are a few tips I know that will help: #1 Eat breakfast! Your body is starving in the morning when you wake up, and eating breakfast provides the adequate fuel necessary to make you strive throughout the day. Multiple studies show that those who eat breakfast ate less throughout the day and were far less likely to binge/pig out! Translation? Breakfast eaters lose more! #2 Support support support. Maybe ask a friend to try to get healthy with you, or at least make that list of supporters you can call when feeling down! #3 Do this for YOU and you only. You said that you weren't happy with your weight and body right now, so have the mindset of "Hey, I'm not happy right now so I'm going to do something about it for ME, bc I deserve it! I'm going to tackle this once and for all" ... and really believe it. #4 Remind yourself that exercise releases endorphins, which are chemicals that literally make you happier. I once read in a magazine that just 20 mins of exercise can improve your mood for up to 12 HOURS! Whenever I don't feel like working out, I remind myself of that and it really does work! #5 Walk walk walk. I hate working out... why would I go voluntarily put myself through that when I would much rather sit on the couch and eat potato chips watching my show of choice? However, walking is so easy! It actually relaxes me and forces me to take time out for myself. Try to walk outside because sunlight will also make you feel happier, and give you vitamin D! If weather doesn't permit, treadmill/elliptical/whatever you wish. #6 POSITIVITY. Guess what? You're going to mess up... we all do! All you have to do is say "hey, it's okay - I'm only human. I'm going to move forward from this second on and do better!" One day of messing up is not going to matter in the long run. I hope that helps! In a similar post I responded to, someone had asked ideas of what you should eat to keep your body fueled and still lose weight. This is what I typed to them; it's information on what to eat at every meal that I have personally received from a dietician a few years ago. Breakfast: grain + fruit + dairy (skim milk, fiber one/all bran, cereal, fruit, granola bar, yogurt) Snack: carbs + protein (carrots, hummus, 100 calorie packs, fruit, yogurt, rice cakes, laughing cow cheese, string cheese) Lunch: carbs/grains + protein + veggies + side (meat, whole wheat bread, tortillas, frozen veggies, salad, low fat cheese, granola bars, baked chips, pita) Dinner: protein 1/4 of plate (meat, eggs) + carbs/starch for 1/3 of plate (pasta, bread, any grain) + veggies for about half the plate BEST OF LUCK! Try not to beat yourself up... you can do this! Know in advance and make sure you understand that it takes time. Like I said, I've struggled with the same problem and it took me a year and a half to finally wake up and do all of the above. Eventually, months later, the pounds were off. Losing just 1-2 pounds a week is ideal; anymore is close to "crash dieting" and can be gained back easily. I know it doesn't seem like much, but think about it: thats 4-8 pounds in a month! It will add up as time goes on, and your body and mind will thank you. I wish you the best.
  12. cjohns889

    What is the best way 4 me 2 lose weight. Need 2 lose 60pds?

    first of all, you are not alone! the above statement is correct. lowering your caloric intake and increasing the amount of physical activity you do is how you lose weight. think of it as simple as that! "i know this is true but seems so hard" - you are right, it is hard. but i promise you that once you get started, after 3 weeks -it takes 21 days to make a habit- it will become habitual and the pounds will continue to shed off as long as you continue to work for it. here are a few tips i know that will help: #1 eat breakfast! your body is starving in the morning when you wake up, and eating breakfast provides the adequate fuel necessary to make you strive throughout the day. multiple studies show that those who eat breakfast ate less throughout the day and were far less likely to binge/pig out! translation? breakfast eaters lose more! #2 support support support. maybe ask a friend to try to get healthy with you, or at least make a list of 3 people you can call when you are feeling down and need some motivation to keep going. #3 do this for you and you only. you said that you weren't happy with being at your highest weight right now, so have the mindset of "hey, i'm not happy right now so i'm going to do something about it for me, bc i deserve it!" #4 remind yourself that exercise releases endorphins, which are chemicals that literally make you happier. i once read in a magazine that just 20 mins of exercise can improve your mood for up to 12 hours! whenever i don't feel like working out, i remind myself of that and it really does work! #5 walk walk walk. i hate working out... why would i go voluntarily put myself through that when i would much rather sit on the couch and eat potato chips watching my show of choice? however, walking is so easy! it actually relaxes me and forces me to take time out for myself. try to walk outside because sunlight will also make you feel happier, and give you vitamin d! if weather doesn't permit, treadmill/elliptical/whatever you wish. #6 positivity. guess what? you're going to mess up... we all do! all you have to do is say "hey, it's okay - i'm only human. i'm going to move forward from this second on and do better!" one day of messing up is not going to matter in the long run. i hope that helps! you also asked for ideas of what to eat/what you should eat at every meal. nutritionists/dietician would be great, but if you don't want to pay for that, the information is all over the internet! for example, in order to lose 1-2 pounds a week, you must cut your caloric intake by 500 calories. for example: if 2000 calories stabilizes your weight, eating 1700 calories instead plus a 40 min power walk (which will burn about 200, or more) will bring you to 1500! if you go to this website, you can plug in your information and it will tell you how much you should eat to lose weight! calorie calculator - daily caloric needs calorieking.com and caloriecount.com are excellent tools that tell you how many calories are in food. lastly, here are examples of what you should eat at every meal since you asked! breakfast: grain + fruit + dairy (skim milk, fiber one/all bran, cereal, fruit, granola bar, yogurt) snack: carbs + protein (carrots, hummus, 100 calorie packs, fruit, yogurt, rice cakes, laughing cow cheese, string cheese) lunch: carbs/grains + protein + veggies + side (meat, whole wheat bread, tortillas, frozen veggies, salad, low fat cheese, granola bars, baked chips, pita) dinner: protein 1/4 of plate (meat, eggs) + carbs/starch for 1/3 of plate (pasta, bread, any grain) + veggies for about half the plate best of luck!!
  13. cjohns889

    Life advice needed for student nurse!

    Thank you SO much for all of the advice and input. I am lost for words (that's a first...) because I surely did not expect such amazing responses! One day soon, I'm going to end it. It's just not fair for only him to be infatuated; I want to feel crazy about someone too! I know he catches my drift and senses that I am pulling away by some of the things he has said, so it boggles my mind that he hasn't pulled back and actually has only continued to push further. Will definitely keep you posted. Silly question but how do I PM you? For some reason, I think I read that I don't have access to that function but I would love to keep in touch. All of this really meant so much to me! Thank you so much again :)
  14. cjohns889

    Life advice needed for student nurse!

    That was such an amazing response! Thank you so, so much for all of your insight. You are oh so wise and I really appreciate it! I know you are most likely right, and it's hard to hear... simply because I have always had a fear of never getting married/finding the one. I've struggled with self confidence issues in the past, but in the latest few years I have made impeccable strides. I am now aware of my gifts; I know that I am smart, funny, curvy, etc. However, because I've dreamed of getting married and having my own family since I was a little girl (literally, I have a word document saved from when I was just a child of names for my future children), it is hard to let go of someone who I know could provide for a future family one day (monetarily, at least, but I know that's not enough to take misery!). I don't think he would be the controlling type/worst scenario - thank goodness. I really think he is just so obsessive due to lack of experience and me being his first real relationship (well, it's a relationship in his eyes... I know better!) Still, you are definitely right about the maturity thing - it is like he is 15 just getting his first girlfriend and can't keep his hands off me. Do you think there is anything I could say to make him snap out of it, or is it just simply too must to ask of someone to basically mature overnight? I was thinking of next time he says "you're so pretty... I hope to dream of you... etc." I could say "look I really appreciate that, but when you say it so much it becomes smothering/turn off." However, although it could help a bit, my gut tells me I will never shake this off and will never get on his level of infatuation (like you said, the 1 person in love/1 not! I loved that bit...) Look forward to hearing your response! Anyone else who would love to say their take/advice is more than welcome to!