My husband is a police officer who works 12 hours shifts, and I'll admit that sometimes I do get frustrated because he has a lot of off time. Intellectually, I know that it is stressful and that it must not seem like much time off when you're the one working it, but from my perspective as a WAHM, I envy his schedule.
I think it's easy for us to resent what we perceive someone else's experience to be. It's wrong, but it's easy.
I'm sorry your husband is being a butt head.