rksgray13

rksgray13

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  1. I guess the question is which is worse? How much will either decision affect our children? This obviously is not the man i fell in love with. It seems he mentally left our relationship many years ago. I have begun to let him go. Too many jabs at my heart just shattered what I felt for him. The kids will know one day. They will know what went on behind the scenes just as I learned of my parents before the divorce. And after for that matter. So parents unhappy together or possibly a step-parent that is abusive in every way? That was my reality. My boyfriend/kids father should be our rock. I am not making hasty moves. It would be much simplier with a look into the future. I wish someone had of asked me what I thought back then.
  2. Thanks, and you are you right. He does it because I allow it. I have thought alot about it. Do I analyze everything too much or am I right? Can I see us elderly and loving each other? I really don't need a partner for myself. I think I could be fine alone. The kids adore him. I don't know why. Maybe cause they miss him when he works. They can't wait to see him when he gets off. I know they will remember when they ae grown. We both came from broken families. His was much worse. I thought we could set the right example. I thought maybe I could make him want to leave or better yet just secretly save my money. When the time was right just pack up and leave one day when he leaves for work. I would have a new home, money saved, new number, etc in order just waiting. He would never expect to come home to that. He thinks I will never leave. We would be happier apart. My mom and dad were better that way too. They kept everything civil after the divorce and luckily I only saw 1 fight between them. My sisters knew my parents differently though. They are 10 and 12 yrs older than me. They said it was bad.His backwards family sit up all night drinking and talking listening to music. He lost his dad in 2003 and his uncles give him that missed attention I guess. He won't go to therapy and won't grieve. Like I said he doesn't show emotion. Happy and carefree is all he knows. He will never be the man I know he can be. He does have that potential, I've seen it. I don't have any friends that I talk to daily or hang out with so thanks for being a shoulder.
  3. Please this is just a vent and I am in complete rage right now!!My boyfriend of 17 years and 3 kids (7,5,2) is a complete jackass! and so is his entire family. Truly they were not raised on earth (part gypsey). They make me want to vomit 90% of the time. He is 33 and a truck driver. He has no plans of marrying me. Says I don't act right! ???!!!i After these years marriage is not in the cards. He got off work Sunday and immediately went to his uncles house 45mins from home. Stayed from 1p to 8am the next day. Left again at 12 noon returned home at 7pm only to leave again at midnight to return at 8am today. I asked to spend time with him and he chose to stay at his uncles. He gets home and nowhas to help his retarded mother move furniture. Mind you she is not helpless and constantly calls him for shtuff like he doesn't have a life. Too much to complain about this manipulating ignorant woman. I go along only to be next to him. Midst conversation, SHE'S HIS EMERGENCY CONTACT!!! What am I chop suey??? And recently I snooped, yes I snooped, in his phone only to find out he asked his cousin for a girl's number!! When confronted he said, just someone different to talk to, flirt. OMG, in raged!! He never got the number. but damn. This man is not affectionate, sex is bismul, selfish (like his moma), constantly complains about everything I do, never compliments, even when I do look pretty. We don't go out anymore (btw im 32). I say why don't we move on separately? You obviously don't love me. He says if "I didn't love you I wouldn't be with you."He's gone on the truck and still feels the need to not be around when he's off. And me, I can't wait to see him, hug, kiss, smell, and just be near him. I love him. Since I was 16. and I know we have grown apart in age and stressors but there is absolutely NO fight in him where I am concerned. Whether I'm sick, depressed, angry, happy, lonely, ANYTHING. I am not the only one that has damaged our relationship. We have stood by each other while each one of us has had a hairbrained bump in the road and we both feel OWED for it. Sorry its long, but I get it. It hurts to be right here, in this spot right now. I'm not playing innocent and there are PLENTY other things but I'm done. One day this lady won't play second fiddle anymore! Where is Dr. Phil when I need him. Sorry and thank you for letting me blow my steam.