I'm sorry. I had a difficult labor and even harder time with breast feeding. I knew I was suffering from depression after I had my baby, I honestly think it's the lack of sleep. My son was constantly at my boob, no matter what I did, I tried pumping and refusing to feed him except for every two hours. I tried supplementing with formula, that helped a little. Then around 6 weeks I finally said "screw it" and let him do formula for 24 hours. It was the most blissful night I had had. I got to sleep, not very long, but I got maybe 4 hours total that night, which is better than I had done the previous 6 weeks.
I gave up shortly on the breastfeeding after that. But I was getting at least enough sleep to be a functional mother to care for him in every other way that I could. He was getting food, he was getting kept warm and loved. My husband still complains about how much the formula was, but the formula was my key to sanity. I have a happy healthy toddler who has no issues. I do wish I'd lasted longer breast feeding than 6 weeks. But if it made the difference between me having a major episode of post partum depression which would probably have been more detrimental to his health, I will settle.
As I've gone along in this parent thing, I'm learning that sometimes it's just about "getting by" during the rough patches. *Hugs* You are not alone and I know you will find what works for you and your family, it's just all a big adjustment!