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  1. maelstrom143

    Older Nurses: What Were They Thinking?

    We are still getting tax deductions based on our losses from the market almost 10 years ago...didn't pull out fast enough. Them's the breaks, but at least I have a good job that I love and my family is safe.
  2. maelstrom143

    Dr. Oz

    Don't watch him, won't watch him...nuff said.
  3. maelstrom143


    Oh, LOL...:lol2::lol2::lol2:
  4. maelstrom143

    Physical abuse, one strike and you're out?

    Sometimes, the abusers are truly mentally ill. And, the abusers are not only men. They are men, they are women...they are people. Abusers come in all shapes, genders, and sizes. That is why it is so easy for them to blend in and get away with their behaviors. My father was immature, selfish, and egocentric. My mother was and is a paranoid schizophrenic. Our parents were very physically and verbally abusive w/each other and with us kids. It was a very interesting/educational upbringing. By age 6, I knew my mom was just not right...seeing walls that bled and people that flew, among other things...she terrified me. I did not blame my dad...at least he did not see/do weird things. Besides, he was kind enough to leave when I was 9, so no more beatings from that department. I gave a prayer of thanks the day he left...to me, it meant my parents would not be killing each other after all. At 13, I attempted suicide because I thought I was the problem and maybe if I was gone my brother and sister would be safe. I then tried to get help from a school counselor, but she sent someone to the home, where everyone lied and said I had made it all up. I was severely beaten for that attempt. It was a regular event for me to go to school w/black eyes and bruises or for my mom to throw me out of the house, only to turn around, call the cops, and tell them I had "run away and was a junkie/prostitute/lesbian/whatever." The first time the cops looked at my arms with a flashlight I had no clue what they were looking for...only years later did I realize that they may have been looking for tracks! Ironically, I have never done drugs or abused alcohol...I never wanted anything else to be in control of me except me. The beatings and other forms of physical abuse finally stopped when I was 16, but only because that time I struck back. Mom was so infuriated that she began hacking at her wrists. I called the cops. She ended up Baker Acted, but was later dc'd to home and allowed to get us from the facility where we had been sent. The last time I saw my mom was in 2003. My brother cares for her. 2003 was the second and last time I visited her. She ended up turning on me and verbally attacking me in front of my kids and DH, then my brother joined in. I have not been back since. Periodically talk to them, but am not invested in having a "real" relationship w/them. I know I am not strong enough to endure such torture. God forgive me...I just am not that strong. When mom asks me when I will visit or why don't I visit, I just say I just can't...sorry. If she begins raving on the phone, I hang up. I do not think I ever made a conscious decision to not be in an abusive relationship. However, whenever I saw behaviors that signaled danger (i.e. guy who spoke to his mom/sister derogatorily, yelling, loss of temper for perceived slights) I would run like the wind in the opposite direction and never look back. I did finally find someone that I could trust, but it has taken him 10 years to get past my walls and protectiveness. For a very long time, it frustrated him that I could not hug or allow physical closeness when I was truly hurting or sad, that I did not know how to express what I felt and became tongue-tied when angered/upset/hurt, that I could not discuss an issue while it was still fresh and chose instead to hide within myself. It took me a while to learn to be a good parent, sometimes finding myself leaning toward the same aberrant parenting style I had run away from and having to apologize to my sons for my behavior. However, I made it. Sadly, my siblings did not.
  5. maelstrom143

    How to date your best friend?

    My husband and I started out as friends. He was always there for me and I never thought it odd that he would show up at my door and be whisked away good-naturedly on whatever my son and I were up to at that particular moment. Being friends, to me at least, means that you honestly like each other, not just as a heat of the moment thing, but on a deeper level where you accept each other, the bad and the good, and you will always have someone you can turn to and know that they understand you. DH and I have now been married 11 years and have a lovely family.
  6. maelstrom143

    Shot or not?

    Wow. No, I do not think I have ever had any problems with either substance. My family does have a history of allergies and immune disorders, though, so maybe that plays a role? Just a guess.
  7. maelstrom143

    "I about wet my depends"!

    I absolutely loved your article. Thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful caring story. It is just one more reminder of why we subject ourselves to the daily grind. I love my little old folks :)
  8. maelstrom143

    Shot or not?

    I used to get a flu shot every year until 2008, when I developed severe respiratory distress (had been very ill and lost my voice after every shot for the last 3 years before but thought it was just me) and had to receive corticosteroid shots and breathing treatment. I have never again taken one and list it as one of my allergies. Not being able to breathe was very scary. Not sure why I reacted that way, as I am in no way allergic to eggs. I do not have a problem advocating for the shot, though. I let my patients know that if I could, I would definitely get the shot, as not getting it leaves me vulnerable to all the bugs coming into our facilities and people breathing on me and coughing on me on a regular basis, regardless of how often I request that they face away when doing so.
  9. maelstrom143

    Nurses Husbands or boyfriends dont work?

    As nurses, we instinctively (at least the majority of us) recoil from injustice and seem geared toward protecting those around us. I think Gringo has seen many who have been psychologically abused and had to vent. I am sure he meant no disrespect or injury to those of us whose spouses are (whether working or not) a vital part of our lives and support systems. The truth is that there are a lot of good people out there that love a lot of bums and we encounter them each and every day. We have to let it out somehow and this is the place to do it, where others like ourselves can commiserate and drive on. It was not, as some seem to think, a personal attack on anyone. We, more than most, see things in our day to day practices that make us lose sleep at night some days. I think that is why this forum is so wonderful.
  10. maelstrom143

    Nurses Husbands or boyfriends dont work?

    Co-dependency is not always a bad thing. It is what kept families going long ago. It is what made it an oddity to find an old person had been dead for weeks before anyone noticed in the old days. I have known many in FL who were found weeks after their passing, forgotten relics of a bygone era, no longer needed or wanted. If what you do for your family fulfills you, then kudos to you for such a wonderful, loving view. My husband and I have a saying we love and it is, "for the greater good." It sounds like that is what you are doing.
  11. maelstrom143

    Nurses Husbands or boyfriends dont work?

    You are a very lovely person. I wish more people had the kind of love you and your hubby do; marriages would last a lot longer.
  12. maelstrom143

    Nurses Husbands or boyfriends dont work?

    Lol...Gringo, I like your candor. I have worked for as long as I can remember. I have worked in the restaurant industry, I have been a soldier, and now I am a nurse. I met and married my 2nd husband while we were both in the service. I became pregnant and we mutually decided that I should receive an honorable discharge for time in service, as the children (2 from first marriage plus baby) needed a parent available and hubby had more time in service, so better paycheck. I have seen spouses support ne'er-do-wells of both genders. Dear male friends whom I adored have had their hearts broken by women who chose to do the wrong thing to the men they were supposed to love. I have seen female friends have faired the same. It is not a gender thing. People can be cruel, regardless what they are. My hubby supported me (w/help from GI Bill) while I went to nursing school and it took a while. He has supported me through thick and thin even when his better judgment was against it...lol. He will retire soon. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE HIM STAY AT HOME WHILE I WORK:D. He probably won't, though, more's the pity. However, this works for me because I know my spouse's work ethic is as mine, solid and true, and I respect and admire him. I love to have a clean house. I clean, I cook, etc. and I always tell my kids and hubby they are lucky I love 'em, cause this is how I show it. My hubby, when he is stationed with us, has always been very proactive about doing housework. Often, I have felt very guilty. In our relationship, I am the one more likely to run off on a bike ride, outing, hiking, crazy outdoor activity with the kids and leave the house for later...and argue because he is often too tired to go...lol. He is more responsible and a bigger homebody.:redpinkhe

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