I work in LTC. The one thing that pushes my button is when people start making judgements about family members who may or may not come to viist. There is always the assumption that these folks are 'bad' for not being about. The fact is that we don't know the whole story nor is it or place to make a judgement,
I always say you can think what you want but keep it in your head. Your actions and verbalizations need to be impartial. If it so bad that you can't than get a change.