hello friends, i have been absent as i am enjoying all my time with my new little man :loveya: (who is going to be 7 weeks old in a few days... can you BELIEVE it???). he is so beautiful and starting to do all these sweet little baby smiles and coos. i don't wanna go back to work :crying2:
anywho, i need guidance... and prayers for patience... and maybe a bang head here sign.
so, background, JB and his mom have never gotten along too well. he has two sisters. one of which is pregnant with a girl, getting married soon.
she is passive-aggressive, just plain mean to him, with backhanded and embarassing comments that he will never amount to anything, that his sister did this or that and he didn't, that he's not as good as doing such and such as whoever else, etc etc. she started in on him so badly at my baby shower that my father asked her to be quiet. he tells me this does not bother him and that he has learned to not care what she says but he tolerates her well. she clearly favors her daughters and nothing, nothing, nothing JB does is ever good enough for her.
i was on bedrest for six weeks. not once did i receive a phone call, a visit, a meal, nothing. JB says thats not her way. OK, i'll let it go.
when Jason was born, she was there at the hospital and actually cried. i thought, well maybe she has a soul, i will give her the benefit of the doubt to be a good grandparent for my son. she came by once after the baby was born, i had a spinal headache and she brought over dinner--but i was in too much pain to eat. so she gave the baby a bottle and TOOK HER LEFTOVERS HOME. okay, my family's from italy, so we feed people, so maybe i'm being oversensitive.
she came by again for a 5 minute visit when he was about 3 weeks old. keep in mind, the chick lives about 15 minutes away and works at the clinic here on the island which is TWO MINUTES from my house. she gave him a bottle and went home.
JB decided one day it would be nice to bring the baby by his parents house when he was around a month old, because he thought he would put in the effort. he got the baby ready while i was at the supermarket and we were going to go over there when i was done. she called back and said "forget it, you took too long, we have things to do to prepare for (JB sister's) wedding." so in my effort to be Christian about this, i offered to meet them at the chapel so they could see my son. he was sound asleep when we arrived and they were too busy going into the chapel to pay him any mind, so i got angry, put my peanut in the stroller and took a walk.
fast foward now, Jason is almost 7 weeks old. my son was baptized on Saturday at my Catholic church. we had a nice party at our home afterwards with friends and family. his father came to the ceremony but did not come to the party because he had a "honey-do" list for sister's wedding. his mom did not show for either, saying she doesn't go to church and she had charts to sign at the clinic. MY JEWISH FRIENDS CAME TO CHURCH AND ITS HANNUKAH. that, my friends, was the nail in her coffin.
she called JB the other day while we were out at lunch. she does not ask him how Jason is. she instead only asks him to measure the docks where sister is getting married. he hangs up, and i say to him "now, logically, doesn't that phone call prove your mother is ignoring my son?"
so he tells me, she doesn't show she loves the baby but she WILL. i have to bring the baby to her so she can get to know him. she's antisocial, it's not her way. it's more important for her to be involved with sister's pregnancy bc it's her daughter. poppy cock!!!! i see this comment on facebook the other day, now that sister is far along enough to announce it's a girl, saying "that's what we wanted". sorry i don't produce the sex of the grandchild you wanted!
so i've had it. i am going back to work and JB is SET that his mom will babysit my baby while we are working. NO. NO NO NO NO NO. why do i want my baby around someone who is so cold? she has made no effort to get to know him. she doesn't know him. and he doesn't know her. what am i supposed to do, say "here's your grandson, please love him and pay him some attention?"..... if she made an effort, i'd meet her halfway... invite us over, call me and ask how he's doing.... COME TWO MINUTES DOWN THE ROAD AND SAY HELLO! but until i see that, i'm done with her. JB is now saying that if i don't bring my son to his mother's house so she can see him than it's my fault they don't have a relationship. is she crippled? seriously? my 80 year old grandfather who walks with a walker has driven 30 miles one way to my house to see my son.. and my dad who has MS and has had a stroke sees him almost every other day. pitiful. SHE is the reason why she has no relationship with him. she has my phone number. i am not going to force a relationship with her. i don't care if she likes me, but why is my son the unfortunate caught in the middle of a hostile mother and son relationship? JB is bending over backwards for her to know this baby and she's still not putting forth any effort. you can't be grandma only when it's convenient. sorry for your luck.
somebody help me. thanks if you read that whole thing!!!!