So this thread is mainly just me reaching out to people who have hopefully been through this. Most people experience losing loved ones at some point in their life so I know I am not alone. What makes it so hard for me with it being my grandparents is that I've had to watch them slowly deteriorate over the years.
A little background. My grandmother is a retired college professor. She taught English 101 and Mythology. She is 79 years old and just retired 4 years ago. Continuing to teach was killing her physically but I think retiring is killing her as well. My grandmother has a terrible back and has had multiple back surgeries in her younger years, all which were unsuccessful relieving her pain. However she refuses to take anything as far as pain relievers go. She has become quite debilitated over the years. We finally talked her in to getting a rolling walker which has helped her posture tremendously. She goes to the local YMCA twice a week to "exercise." I'm not sure how much exercise she is actually doing.... probably more socializing.. which is fine! Anything to make her happy.
My grandmother also was a HUGE fan (I mean HUGE) fan of Tiger Woods. I'm talking... taping all of his interviews, cutting out newspaper article about him... She has pretty much followed his entire career since he was a teenager. When his infidelity secrets came forward my grandmother coincidentally went into a deep depression, became dehydrated, developed acute renal failure, a UTI, and eventually became septic and had to be hospitalized for 2 1/2 weeks. She has recovered but it almost killed her. She swears it wasn't related to Tiger Woods, but now that he is golfing again her spirits have increased tremendously. She says she has forgiven him and hopes the rest of the world can too.
Now my grandfather, who has been taking care of my grandmother the past month has finally worn himself down to the ground. He has quite a medically history himself. Mild COPD, Type 2 DM, Neuropathy... He has a very arthritic hip that he has been suffering with for probably 3 years. He has finally decided to get a hip replacement. This will be scheduled in 3 weeks.
I'm terrified for him to have this hip replacement. He is a strong man but I am honestly terrified of losing him. He is 80 years old and I know there will come a day when he will no longer be with us. However, I truly do not think my grandmother could live without him. She has never paid a bill or done anything financially for herself. Another problem is that they live 3 hours away from me and my mother. They will hear nothing of coming to live here. All of their friends and their church is there. Their life is there. We can't take that from them. My uncle does live about 30 minutes away. He is helpful to an extent, but he is not able to anticipate their needs the way my mother and I do.
My mother goes down to see them just about every other weekend. She cleans and runs errands for them. She has plans to go down when my grandfather has his surgery. As of right now, I cannot go. It will be my 1st week off of orientation at my new job in the ICU. And I'm scheduled to work a shift that week at my other job... You know, I haven't worked there in 2 months until that week... Go figure.
Guys, I'm so sorry you had to listen to all of this. I'm just really stressed and exhausted. We just got over dealing with my grandmother's almost near death experience and now my grandfather is going into the hospital for his hip replacement.
I thank you for reading and taking your time to hear about my problems. My husband doesn't really understand how I feel about this. Nothing seems to stress him out.
Your internet friend,