Good Morning -
Tweety - Hope work is kind to you. . .
By the way, Tweety, today is Wednesday, February 20th, 2019, not "January 29th"! L O L! I sent a request to the administrating team to, hopefully, edit in the correct date. L O L!
Recently woke up. . . Drinking First Coffee. . .
Got a phone call from my father's wife late last night. Apparently, he's been having some TIAs which has left him weaker (right side more than left) with increased difficulty speaking. Apparently, this all took place during the week-end. Apparently, she did not take him to the hospital when all of this happened, interestingly enough. Needless to say, we had a LONG phone conversation.
Dad is a "DNR". That does not mean, "Do Not Treat". But up until about a half year ago, Dad was also under Hospice care for his progressive dementia. In the past, it had been discussed that should anything happen to him at his home, he would not go to the hospital. Dad "graduated" from Hospice because he was too well. And, for the past 6+ months since "graduating" from Hospice, Dad's health has remained relatively the same, except for his slowly-failing mind and body. Despite being "qualified" for increased level of care, Dad's wife will not put him into a nursing home. So, she's been the main care-taker for him for a while.
A couple of years ago (I believe that I shared this when this took place), Dad's wife had a mental breakdown. Literally, she was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. My sister and I stayed with Dad at his apartment during most of that time help tend to his needs. There was a hired home-care aide, as well, that helped take care of Dad. Back then, Dad's mental and physical state was weak. Dad and his wife does have some monies saved. He also has a retirement pension that modestly supplements his Social Security income. Armed with this financial information, my sister and I organized 24/7 care for Dad so that he could get the care the he deserves, and so that (at least in our minds) his wife need NOT be the main care-taker. Financially, the 24/7 care could be afforded for several years. It did mean, though, that their savings would be diminished over that time. The 24/7 care was in place when his wife returned from the hospital. Within a week of her being home, she discontinued that 24/7 care. But, she did keep intact a few 8-hour days per week of home health assistance (which was a whole lot better than what existed before my father's wife was hospitalized).
By the way, this was not the first or second time that Dad's wife was hospitalized. (But it was the first time she required care and support for apparent suicidal ideation.) Each time she was hospitalized, my sister, sometimes my wife, and I would stay with Dad and help tend to his needs.
Now. . . I haven't been the greatest son in the world. During the past several months, I've visited Dad about 3 times. He and his wife live a little more than an hour's drive away. It's not a huge distance to travel. I've just been involved with my own life. And, being the type of personality that I am, I've been "avoiding" witnessing my father slowly decay. It is painful to see him age so insidiously. He often does not remember who I am when I visit him; he often calls me by his brothers' name(s). THIS bothers me. I own that. I've allowed my very strong feelings of pain and self-pity to pull-back from visiting him. THIS, obviously must change.
So. . . I will be scheduling time to be with Dad during my nights off from work. I will be part of his care - again - so that Dad's needs are met, so that he remains safe, and so that he remains relatively comfortable. This, I shared to Dad's wife during last night's phone conversation.
Dad's wife has recently increased the level of support that he - and she - needs. There are over-night home health aides that she recently hired for at least three nights. She also has other help, too.
We - his wife and I - both hope that Dad is re-eligible for Hospice Care. This, we discussed last night, too. Up until these past couple of days, Dad's appetite has been, well, very strong. He loves to eat, and does it well! But Dad's appetite seems to be waning. This is new for him. Although it's probably too early to tell, it would seem that Dad's time on this Earth is (slowly) coming to an end. As painful as it would be to have a world without Dad, I do wish that he would simply and peacefully "go in his sleep". (I can write paragraphs and paragraphs about this one wish! It is UNFAIR how Dad is experiencing such an insidious aging process!!) Hopefully, Hospice will see fit to officially re-enter Dad into their care-management. At the very least, this will provide both Dad and his wife much-needed support. We are both hopeful.
I can go on and on. I know that I am not alone in experiencing a beloved parent deteriorate in body and mind.
Anyway. . . Life does go on. It does suck sometimes.