Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. I fully appreciate that I am still a "baby nurse" and can't expect perfection nor will I ever know everything.
No Stars, I love that you shared your story about your difficulty starting IV's. Thank you for that.
I guess the biggest hit to my confidence is I feel I've lost a lot of knowledge. I don't know if its just stress but I feel my ability to retain information right now is just terrible as well. I work on a medsurg floor but in preparation for a potential surge in COVID patients my unit has added equipment to allow it to function as an ICU if need be. This means that my coworkers and I need to take an advanced EKG test along with familiarize ourselves with vents. (This was all supposed to have been done last month; we had less than a month to complete this) I have never worked with heart rhythms outside of the basics. We only just touched on things like heart blocks in nursing school. I'm not at all opposed to learning new things, its why I fell in love with nursing. Its just the pace at which we're expected to at least kind of know what we're doing.
I get that COVID makes this situation a little more urgent. But I live and work in a pretty... we'll say rural/isolated area. We've had maybe 3 COVID positive cases at my hospital.
I love that we're totally prepared if we suddenly do get a surge. It just sucks that we were suddenly expected to educate ourselves to an intermediate care level with almost no true hands-on training, plus our unit was closed and we were floating throughout the hospital at the same time. There's just a lot going on and it leaves a lot of space for failure.
I feel like a brand new nurse all over again. Just when I was starting to find my footing. It sucks, it's discouraging and it's stressful.