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Wake88 Wake88 (New Member) New Member

Post-Surgery & FaceBook

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Basically, I had knee surgery this morning. Can't walk for six weeks.

Made a post about it on FB (hadn't mentioned needing surgery earlier) saying everything was alright.

Out of all my family members and supposed friends who are currently online, only 3 co-workers and two family members voiced their support. Something, anything.

It's like posting an update on FB that you made it through surgery and only one of your 20+ family members even acknowledge it. Clearly they can see my post, but they ignore it. Am I crazy for feeling hurt by this? I go out of my way to wish family and friends well when they're sick, yet when I'm feeling in need of emotional support I get nothing (besides from a few people). Makes me want to re-think who my friends are, and focus on building better relationships with the people who DID go out of their way to wish me well.

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Clearly, I need to learn how to create better relationships with people. It angers me when you have cousins, coworkers, and aunts/uncles who say they're close to you and love you, yet during and after your post they don't even acknowledge you at all. What would you guys do? What should I do? How should I respond? Should I even say anything right now? I'm feeling hurt and angry about this. I thought people who care about you try to be there for you when you're down.

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My aunt, uncle & cousins never congratulated me or said a word when I found out I was pregnant. They haven't said anything since. They never comment or like his pictures. On top of that it was just my son's birthday & they didn't wish him a happy birthday or anything.

It's not that hard to cut them off or anything because they live in a different state.

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My aunt, uncle & cousins never congratulated me or said a word when I found out I was pregnant. They haven't said anything since. They never comment or like his pictures. On top of that it was just my son's birthday & they didn't wish him a happy birthday or anything.

It's not that hard to cut them off or anything because they live in a different state.

See, that's exactly what I mean. I have a cousin I work with and see frequently, yet all day since this morning when I posted about it she's been online, but says nothing at all. A few coworkers I haven't really talked with in awhile were kind enough to say something, yet my cousin is online all day and says nothing. It just sucks, and makes me only want to invest in people who show they actually care. What use is there in having a friend if he or she can't be bothered to say a single sentence after you've just gone through surgery?

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I dunno. I mean, it's Facebook. It's hard for me to feel real outrage over someone not liking my Facebook status.

But I can see how it would feel disappointing if your coworker always comments on everything except your post. Is he like that, or is he just not the type to leave comments? Either way, try not to let it bother you too much.

Hope you heal quickly.

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See, that's exactly what I mean. I have a cousin I work with and see frequently, yet all day since this morning when I posted about it she's been online, but says nothing at all. A few coworkers I haven't really talked with in awhile were kind enough to say something, yet my cousin is online all day and says nothing. It just sucks, and makes me only want to invest in people who show they actually care. What use is there in having a friend if he or she can't be bothered to say a single sentence after you've just gone through surgery?

I'm sorry you're going through this, I know it's tough. I hope you have a quick recovery from your surgery.

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I'm not sure what you expect honestly. You said everything was okay - did you mention that you were having a hard time and needing support?

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I'm not sure what you expect honestly. You said everything was okay - did you mention that you were having a hard time and needing support?

Yes. Mentioned twice that this was really tough and that I needed emotional support.

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Your post might have not shown up in their feed. Seriously. Facebook has a strange algorithm to where you only see posts from people you interact with frequently. Furthermore, a lot of people that don't know Facebook that we'll have it automatically default to "top stories" and not "most recent" posts.

Idk. Just a thought. Things get lost on Facebook.

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I had no idea about the algorithm.

What I'm thinking of doing is just asking for phone numbers from friends and family and just calling them. I've been a 'social-at-work-as-needed' introvert for the longest time. Just not comfortable with FB relationships any more: it's more comforting to talk with people face-to-face. It's like everywhere I turn now people are on their smart phones:when coworkers are in the dayroom before shift start (15+ ppl) the room's usually quiet because they're all on their phones.

FB can't be an appropriate substitute for REAL friendships, and some of the people I really respect and admire don't even use it. Still sucks that close friends and family haven't said much, but I'm just dealing with it. Not gonna say anything on FB about it, but what I do from now on is going to change.

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Yes. Mentioned twice that this was really tough and that I needed emotional support.

Then I'm really sorry you didn't get the response you're hoping for.

I would try not to take it personally though, unless it's a pattern of behavior - Facebook really does make things hard to see sometimes.

I hope you're recovering well.

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Maybe you should call them directly instead of posting on Facebook and expecting a response.

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You said you didn't mention to people beforehand that you were having surgery, so even if your family/friends had seen your post, perhaps they weren't sure how to respond since you didn't tell them you were having surgery. If a family member/friend didn't tell me they were having surgery and then posted this information on the internet, I would assume there was a reason they didn't tell me they were going to have surgery. Why don't you just communicate personally, i.e. in person or by phone/e-mail with the people you want to have relationships with?

I suggest considering whether what you are experiencing could be due to poor communication on your part.

Edited by Susie2310

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