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Wake88 Wake88 (New Member) New Member

Post-Surgery & FaceBook

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You are reading page 2 of Post-Surgery & FaceBook. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

It's Facebook. Don't take it too seriously. Most people see Facebook as an attention seeker and not a genuine mean of keeping in touch. If you need support from your family and friends pick up the phone and tell them so.

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I'm so sorry it hurts, I hope you heal and feel better soon. This is one of the reasons I got off of Facebook...I felt like everyone else was soaring ahead in life and I was boring, just going to school and grinding away at work.

I have been happier since getting off of it. It's also gotten too spammy for me (Posts about "take this quiz for your vampire/stripper/etc name." The final straw was when my sister posted she was having a "sale" of items and one of the items was a necklace I had given to her. OK, it wasn't super expensive, but it was still a gift and it hurt my feelings. I could have done without knowing she wanted to sell it.

I hope you feel better and rest up on your time off. Check in with the people you truly miss, whether or not they're on social media. One plus to it is that some people at work will act like complete ninnies when it comes to Facebook. If you're not on it, you can't get caught up in it.

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Sometimes the important posts get lost among everything else. I scroll down my page and what do I see? Things other people liked, often picture of people I do not know, every little thing other friends liked or shared.

Even though I keep my friends list short, not everyone does, and your post can be lost in the "clutter".

Call up the people in your "inner circle". If you are an introvert, these are your key people to turn to when you need real emotional support.

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I remember years ago posting a (short --

That's what I really don't like about FB. I mean I come on AN and feel bummed if I don't have many new likes. I was really upset that N didn't get a single one!

You know what else I've noticed and what I don't like about FB, is that our feeds can get very clogged with the drivel about breakfast. One of my friends/family post something in the a.m. and I check my FB in the p.m., I'd have to scroll waaaaaaaaaaay down to even see it. Usually I don't, because I don't have time for that. And those status update alerts that come to my phone are like excessive patient alarms: they are so frequent they don't trigger any action. I pay about as much attention to them as I do to any other mass e-mail. My freind/family could post something about their knee surgery and I'd honestly never see it if enough hours passed before checking my feed.

For what it's worth, I do wish you a speedy recovery!

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Why do you even use Facebook to annouce your surgery...!! Don't expect any sympathy from anyone if you rely on Facebook... Try some REAL CONTACT... CALL PEOPLE... If you feel hurt, it's your problem....

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Op, stop posting stuff on facebook expecting any kind of response Sometime people just don't want to get into it with anyone--relative or not.

Find relationships off of social media that you enjoy and are fulfilling.

Interestingly, how facebook is set up at present, one doesn't often see all the posts that any given person posts, especially if you have a lot of friends. Not like it used to be that one saw every post of every friend.

There are people who live on social media, and those who are occasional browsers.

I wouldn't take it personally, but then again, wouldn't post anything that the expectation was to get an immediate response to satisfy a need to be acknowledged.

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You said you didn't mention to people beforehand that you were having surgery, so even if your family/friends had seen your post, perhaps they weren't sure how to respond since you didn't tell them you were having surgery. If a family member/friend didn't tell me they were having surgery and then posted this information on the internet, I would assume there was a reason they didn't tell me they were going to have surgery. Why don't you just communicate personally, i.e. in person or by phone/e-mail with the people you want to have relationships with?

I suggest considering whether what you are experiencing could be due to poor communication on your part.

My thoughts were along those lines, too. Why would someone care about my support if they never bothered to let me know what was going on in the first place? I would assume that my acknowledgement (or lack of) wasn't too important.

That being said, people who get upset about facebook posts (or anything having to do with facebook) are a mystery, to me.

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Naturally I'm fairly introverted, but can be very social as the situation demands it. The hospital constantly demands you to be socially fluent, flexible, and adaptable.

Compared to 13 years ago it's like everyone's glued to their smart phones. Wasn't like that when I was 15. I don't like how FB has become the preferred substitute for actual social interaction. At this point I'm about to just buy a competent phone, get the phone numbers of the people I actually like talking with, and just having phone or face-to-face relationships that way. It't tough because I normally don't like calling people on the phone because I can't see their face, and, to be honest, I really don't understand why I feel shy to just talk with someone in person. When it comes to business and other serious matters it's no problem. Hell, I can give a speech in front of a crowd easily so long as it's business or work-related. Asking a guy or gal (a friend) to go out and do something fun (preferably with other people) just feels awkward, because people make it sound as if it's creepy for adults to try and make new friends with other adults.

I'm planning on changing the way I use FaceBook. It shouldn't be used as a means of social support: you should get that over the phone, or face-to-face. I text with my family over FB but when was the last time I actually went over and visited them? Granted, some family are hundreds of miles away. I think I want to just use FB for the sake of information, and as a social platform to build your reputation and influence. Too many people go on it when they're drunk or emotional or horny and say the dumbest things. I'd rather use it for posting milestones, like passing midterms, or the NCLEX-PN, etc. If I'm craving human interaction FB is a poor substitute for the real deal. I like using FB as a means to surround myself with people who share common interests (bodybuilding community, nurses and nursing students, gardeners, health-conscious people, etc).

You know what, I'm going to just swallow my social anxiety and call up three family members today and see how they're doing. I don't know why I keep isolating myself from people. Peace and quiet is nice, but not so much that you end up lonely and cut-off from people. I keep wanting to ask a handful of coworkers if they want to set up a date to go bowling or something fun, but for some illogical reason I feel nervous about it. Makes no sense, because I have no doubt they'd say yes in a heartbeat if actually had the courage to ask them.

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This is why I'm not on FB. Everyone is always butthurt about some slight, or perceived slight.

I hope you are doing better, OP.

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