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NurseGirl525 NurseGirl525 (New Member) New Member

New Relationship

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As many of you know, I have been going through a divorce. It's been a difficult and stressful divorce, but the end is near. Like in the next week or so, yay!!! It's been a long road to get here and the divorce is a relief really. My ex was very mentally, verbally, and emotionally abusive. I had the courage to finally get out and I am so glad I did.

Someone who I have been friends with for a while and I have taken our relationship to the next level. It's been great and I really enjoy being with him. He has been my champion through all of this and I really appreciate him greatly. I don't know what I would do without him.

My question. I have developed some very deep feelings for him over the past couple of months. It was quite unexpected and I am unsure of what to do. I am not sure if I have developed these feelings as in a rebound or if I truly do care. He is everything my ex wasn't. I'm just not sure if I really love him or if I think I do because he is just the first guy that was nice to me. You know what I mean? Kinda like after being treated like your nothing for 15 years, then someone tells says your are something. It's been really nice.

I guess I am just afraid I am just infatuated with someone who was finally nice to me and that this won't work out. I don't want to hurt anyone. Is this happening too fast, too soon? Should I maybe wait until after nursing school?

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Question: did you ever say any of the things you said in your post about the new guy, about your ex?

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What's the Worst that could happen? One, or Both of you, could get Emotionally Devastated, right?

Like we haven't been through That before!

My Own Personal Experiences concerning Infidelity, Devastation, Overwhelmingness, Rebounds, Dysfunctional Behavior and Divorce could easily be related, but why? My Point is: I Took Chances, got Hurt, but am here, with a Reasonably Sound Mind, to Tell About It.

You know the score, Heathermaizey. It's like John Lennon sang: "Whatever Gets You Through the Night".

And, as the Man in Black said in "The Princess Bride": "Life is pain, Princess. Anyone who says differently is trying to sell you something".

So I say, "Go for it!" Don't trade Happiness now for what May or May Not happen later.

But don't Blame Me if it doesn't work out, okay?

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Thanks Davey Do. I think I am just nervous about anybody right now. Scared about making the wrong decision, AGAIN. But you are exactly right, you gotta take a chance or you'll never gain anything. He knows my situation and I don't think he would ever do anything on purpose to hurt me. So I think I will go for it. He's a really good guy.

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If you have concerns, just slow down a bit..... and this doesn't mean eliminating this man from your life. Enjoy your time with him and savor being happy. You don't have to make any decisions about the relationship. Just be in the moment.

My divorce was final Jan. 5th and I went through many of the same things you mentioned. I hope I'm fortunate to meet someone nice like you did, someday.

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Years ago, when I was dating a truly inappropriate man, my mother shook her head sadly and said that she just knew I was going to get hurt again, and she didn't want that to happen.

At the time, the only thing I could think of to say was "What an awful thing to wish for, Mom! If I never got hurt again, that would mean I wasn't really LIVING!"

The inappropriate man cheated on me eventually and I broke up with him. And yes, I got hurt. But it wasn't the end of the world. And the day after he moved out of my house (on Christmas day), I met the man who is now my wonderful husband. Listen to your gut -- it's a pretty good indicator. Failing that, a golden retriever works, too.

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