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mindlor mindlor (New Member) New Member

Need Advice

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Before I begin, mods, please move this to wherever the right place is, I was not sure.

So I need advice from the ladies....

My GF is quite a bit younger than me, tall, sllender, beautiful face, coulld easily be a model...

Anyway, she grew up in a home that was quite dysfunctional, passive/agressive dad, the most domineering mom that I have ever encountered.

She was never taught to care for herself. She does not use makeup at all, does absolutely nothing with her hair. Now if she were ok with this I would be too. However every time we walk past a make up coounter she will stop and say wow I would use some of this if I just knew how.

She looks at other girls in such a way that I know she is self-conscious of her lack of makeup/fashion skills.....

Any advice on how I can approach this without hurting/offending her?

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When she comments that she would like to use make up if she knew how, reassure her that you find her attractive just the way she is but that if she would like; you would be open to taking her to a upscale shop where the make up consultants will demonstrate application techniques. There may be a fee involved unless you purchase some of their product.

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Maybe she just wants to hear you say, "Hon, you don't need that stuff, you're already beautiful:p

I find it hard to believe that any young woman who wants to wear makeup, doesn't. The above poster is right. Makeup counters will be more than happy to show her how to use their product. She might have to buy some of it though.

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Thanks guys ;) I do constantly reassure her that she is beautiful....sometimes I look at her and I cannot comprehend how lucky I am. She really has zero need for any makeup and trust me I do love her exactly as she is but I just want her to be content within herself.....

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Thanks guys ;) I do constantly reassure her that she is beautiful....sometimes I look at her and I cannot comprehend how lucky I am. She really has zero need for any makeup and trust me I do love her exactly as she is but I just want her to be content within herself.....

The next time she says that take her to a Macy's, Bloomingdales, Jospeh Horne Co (are they still in business?)or other higher end department store to the make up counter and have her make-up done by the cosmetic counters. I prefer bare minerals (Macy's is bare essentuals http://www1.macys.com/shop/beauty/featured-brands/bare-escentuals?id=54541&cm_mmc=GOOGLE_Beauty_Corporate-_-bare+escentuals_search_bare+minerals-_-7028812635_Exact-_-bare%20minerals_mkwid_s4jkTqiHs_7028812635%7C-%7C4jkTqiHs)and they have their own stores but they will put make-up on and show her what to do....then she can see what it looks like. Then for her gift, by her some.....beware it's an expensive beginning.

Good Luck

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I find it hard to believe there is a girl out there that doesn't wear makeup but wants to. Usually if a girl wants to wear makeup ...she will be wearing makeup. Half the fun about make up is just fooling around with it and trying different things. However, back to your point. You could buy her a spa day. When you go to the spa to purchase the certificate for her, they will ask you what you what like included on it. You could have them include: massage, facial, and professional make up application.

That way, it looks like its just part of the "package" and your not just singling out a make up lesson for her.

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My advice too...buy her a "make up" package as part of a spa day somewhere, along with maybe a mani-pedi.

I will say that make up done by many of these places though is way, way over done and may turn her off to the idea, but she can at least get an idea of the types of products she could use.

Or, just give a gift certificate for "make up lessons" and products, as Esme advised, to either a Macys or similar department store.

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Your local Mary Kay rep will do a make over for her also. They do this for free, but with the intentions of you buying their products.

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I had a very poor childhood, but learned to use makeup by buying the cheap kind. Anywho, I have a very, very poor poor dressing style. To tell you I only have one pair of jeans and about 3 shirts I combine it with on my days off. :( be nice and non condescending.

I on the other hand, I never learned to shop. I remember wanting pants and shirts, jewelry!!! But it was tough growing up and gave up so much in order to have something to eat. I eventually gave up the thought and focused in earning an education that would pull me from the hole I was in. Thousands of years later, literally speaking, I focused on raising my kids, buying a house, and my dream car :) but forgot about my childhood needs and the reason I wanted an education: to buy myself nice things :') so you brought me memories I had blocked somewhere in my subconscience in order for it not to hurt as much. I guess I need to celebrate that little girls hard work and give her the Christmas she always wanted huh? Thank you for helping me remember the I in me and awakening a silent childhood dream.

Edited by emmanewgrad

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What an awesome BF you are to:

A. Be aware that she grew up in a dysfunctional family with a domineering mother and recognize what effects that had on her confidence

B. Consider yourself the luckiest bloke on the earth for having her as your GF, and in seeing her beauty sans cosmetics

C. Want to see her be confident, feel beautiful and post this question so that you may get some good advice and implement a plan.

I also grew up with a strict set of parents, and they absolutely refused to allow me to wear makeup, kitten heels, or even shorts. Since I was the only girl in a family of 3 boys, I can only surmise that they didn't have the first clue in how to raise a girl. I just dressed in my brother's hand-me-downs and didn't understand that I could actually dress like a GIRL. As a result, I looked like a cross between a clown and an extra on a horror movie when I tried to apply makeup myself one day.

I went to the Estee Lauder counter when I was in college and asked them to fix me up. They did a beautiful job, and with the help of my roommate (who was a model), I looked like a million bucks (after I felt like I spent about that much at the counter!). I felt so good about my appearance, and that confidence was a real boost for me. My roommate talked me into seeing her agent, and I ended up signing with this agency. You can imagine my father's shock when I showed him a full page ad in Modern Bride with me as the model!

You are so sweet to do this for her. She will love the attention at the spa and she will feel more confident after the make-up artist shows her how to use cosmetics. After she comes back from the spa, take her out to a nice dinner. She will be relaxed, feel confident, and know that you did all of this because you love her.

Kudos to you!

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if you can afford it and your relationship is at this level, get a spa day for the two of you-- she gets the full treatment, makeup, mani/pedi, hair, massage, the works, and you get (whatever the male equivalent is), and you meet for dinner.

otherwise, the makeup ladies at macy's etc are wonderful. i'm not much of a makeup gal, either. they did a really nice job on me when my dtr got married-- i came home and my husband said, hesitatingly, "are you wearing ... makeup?" it was light but perfect.yeah, i did buy the stuff, but it doesn't look as good when i do it :uhoh3:.

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Do you know any teenage girls at the younger end of "teenager"? Some NICE ones who aren't candidates for some bullying competition?

This age LOVES to mess with makeup- and may be less intimidating than some snippy adult make-up counter person (not that they're all like that- just can't stand the few I've met). To have an adult to practice on would be like winning the lottery. :) They might not be as 'fine-tuned' as an adult, but they would have a ball, and your GF could at least get some ideas.... :twocents:

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