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Narrow-minded, non-medical family who never cease to amaze me.

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Angelfire, don't get bogged down in this stuff. If you aren't baring body parts, your clothes are fine. You are so much more than clothes.

From a wise counselor -- when we change, it makes those around us very uncomfortable. Especially, when we change for the better. When those around us become uncomfortable, they act in a way to keep us in our old pattern. (Translation: You are growing, they are not.)

It seems to be about control. :specs:

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Angelfire, don't get bogged down in this stuff. If you aren't baring body parts, your clothes are fine. You are so much more than clothes.

From a wise counselor -- when we change, it makes those around us very uncomfortable. Especially, when we change for the better. When those around us become uncomfortable, they act in a way to keep us in our old pattern. (Translation: You are growing, they are not.)

It seems to be about control. :specs:

That's what I was thinking: They are used to the "old you". I remember years ago hearing in recovery circles that even (for example) wives who begged their husbands to get sober will be so uncomfortable with the new man, they will sabotage his efforts, to get the old man back ... not consciously but just because THEY end up having to change old habits TOO when he changes.

U b u, whether it is the new u or the old u, it's up to u. And yeah I think the jealousy factor is in there too.

Boy Angelfire you sure do stir up some! (Angelfire) lol (((((((((((((Angel ))))))))))))

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That's what I was thinking: They are used to the "old you". I remember years ago hearing in recovery circles that even (for example) wives who begged their husbands to get sober will be so uncomfortable with the new man, they will sabotage his efforts, to get the old man back ... not consciously but just because THEY end up having to change old habits TOO when he changes.

You see this also with other issues. Women, who have mates that nag them about excess weight, nit pick about diet indiscretions, and loudly talk about/ogle thinner women - when wife actually begins to lose weight, they will deliberately sabotage it. You see, they may have fears of you leaving them behind, or that you are now "better" than them.

In my case, I used to have severe, often crippling depression. When I started to get better and "heal", many people around me, including family and "friends", did not like the new me. You see, I often "attracted" people that wanted someone that they could push around/look good against. When that dynamic changed, there were problems. My father, in particular, had issues with my "uppitiness/mouthiness".

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Thanks, Noodnik! Yep, I always have to start something, even when I'm not aware of it. I will say this, I don't know if it's the skirts, the weight loss, or what, but I have docs talking to me now that would not have given me the time of day a month ago. Beats anything I've ever seen.

26 1/2 pounds down, 12 1/2 to go!

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Carol, I hear you. My DH comes from a very chauvinistic family, who have very definite views about women, namely that they should stay quiet, obedient, pregnant, and in the back seat of the car.

I, to this day, don't think they know quite what to make of me. I don't tolerate a double standard, and I'm very, VERY vocal (big surprise, huh?) about ny objection. DH tried the old "keep the little woman in line" act with me in front of FIL ONE time. That was all it took. At the time, he was about 8 inches taller than me, and I MAY have weighed in at about 110-115, a good 60 pounds lighter than him. I had him backed against the wall before it was over.

Never underestimate a half Irish/half German Leo with an independent streak a mile wide. I didn't have a prayer when it came to my temper. The one good thing about it, well, the FIRST good thing about it, it only takes one time for someone to get on the wrong side of me, and after that, we're OK. The second, apparently DH thinks I look good when I get ill. Go figure.

I guess all I'm saying is, been there, and don't be afraid to push back. Heck, employ elbows and knees if that's what it takes. Of course, this is coming from someone who once roundhoused her boss when he snuck up behind me and goosed me in the ribs (I'm ticklish AND jumpy). Kicked him right in the head (thank you, tae-kwon-do). Didn't get fired, either. He told everyone involved that it was his fault, I had warned him, and he decided to be cute.

Good luck with everything, and thank you.

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You see this also with other issues. Women, who have mates that nag them about excess weight, nit pick about diet indiscretions, and loudly talk about/ogle thinner women - when wife actually begins to lose weight, they will deliberately sabotage it. You see, they may have fears of you leaving them behind, or that you are now "better" than them.

In my case, I used to have severe, often crippling depression. When I started to get better and "heal", many people around me, including family and "friends", did not like the new me. You see, I often "attracted" people that wanted someone that they could push around/look good against. When that dynamic changed, there were problems. My father, in particular, had issues with my "uppitiness/mouthiness".

Yep, they're like, who IS this person? And yes, the insecurity that you will leave. Sometimes they are quite creative in trying to get you to change back...

Thanks, Noodnik! Yep, I always have to start something, even when I'm not aware of it. I will say this, I don't know if it's the skirts, the weight loss, or what, but I have docs talking to me now that would not have given me the time of day a month ago. Beats anything I've ever seen.

26 1/2 pounds down, 12 1/2 to go!

Congratulations, that is fantastic! I keep being motivated breakfast and lunch but by supper I just throw it to the winds, sigh...

Carol, I hear you. My DH comes from a very chauvinistic family, who have very definite views about women, namely that they should stay quiet, obedient, pregnant, and in the back seat of the car.

I, to this day, don't think they know quite what to make of me. I don't tolerate a double standard, and I'm very, VERY vocal (big surprise, huh?) about ny objection. DH tried the old "keep the little woman in line" act with me in front of FIL ONE time. That was all it took. At the time, he was about 8 inches taller than me, and I MAY have weighed in at about 110-115, a good 60 pounds lighter than him. I had him backed against the wall before it was over.

Never underestimate a half Irish/half German Leo with an independent streak a mile wide. I didn't have a prayer when it came to my temper. The one good thing about it, well, the FIRST good thing about it, it only takes one time for someone to get on the wrong side of me, and after that, we're OK. The second, apparently DH thinks I look good when I get ill. Go figure.

I guess all I'm saying is, been there, and don't be afraid to push back. Heck, employ elbows and knees if that's what it takes. Of course, this is coming from someone who once roundhoused her boss when he snuck up behind me and goosed me in the ribs (I'm ticklish AND jumpy). Kicked him right in the head (thank you, tae-kwon-do). Didn't get fired, either. He told everyone involved that it was his fault, I had warned him, and he decided to be cute.

Good luck with everything, and thank you.

Making me laugh, but I have no doubt; I can just see you pushing him up against the wall, lol!

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