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My husband's depression/bipolar is destroying our marriage.

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Celly I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. The way you describ how you husband is acting and how you are feeling sounds a lot like my husband and myself. Sadly, I have no good advice for you right now.

We are both seeing a therapist and he is also seeing a psychiatrist who is over seeing his meds. The meds have help some, but not enough in my opinion. I just do not think my husband cares about anything enough to try. I am sad for him, our children and myself. His disease is turning me cold and bitter.That is sad because I use to be a warm and friendly person.

I hope that you can find the anwser for you and your family soon. Also, do not let you husband's disease turn you into a person that you no longer recognize. Good luck

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Hi!! Thanks for getting back to me. It helps to be able to talk to someone who is going through the same things. I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I am in the same boat...i deffo don't feel like the meds are doing enough. There are days when he is on top of the world....like today he sent me a beatiful flowers to work and apologized for how he had been...is being very loving and attentive, talkative and just being himself!! But it is almost like the calm before the storm...i almost feel like i can't enjoy it because in the back of my mind i know at some point the bottom is going to fall out again. He has been given busbar for anxiety and seems to think that it may help him...but i am nervous of the effects and if it will just put him back in zombie mode. It's so hard i feel as though we just go round and round in the same circle...i just want some stability and happiness for myself and my children...and for him too. It's crazy cause for as angry as I get at him i really do love him and at times i just get so fustrated....and i have been reading books that say it's not them your mad at it's the disease but at times i just feel like the disease is used as an excuse...i don't know. And i know your right in what your saying about not letting his disease over take my life but I guess maybe because my head knows you and everyone else who tells me the same is right but my heart doesn't want to believe it and i still think i can fix everything. Anyway thanks for listening and responding back...it really does help me alot. Hope we can talk soon.:)

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Hi Celly,

I have no great words of wisdom to offer, but just know you are not alone. Just try to take care of yourself and the kids; that's the best thing you can do for both you and your husband.

{{{{Celly}}}}

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I know just what you mean when you say sometimes you feel like the disease is just an excuse. There are days that I just get so angry and I just think that if he would just care about his family enough he would be able to "be normal". Whatever normal is anyway. I am sorry, but right now I am going through the whole anger stage of dealing with him/the disease. That is all I can seem to do anymore is cry or be ticked off.

I also know just what you mean by wanting to fix him. He is broken, so with lots and lots of love he can be fixed. Believe me I have been trying to fix him for more years than I want to think about. I will clarify what I mean by fix. I would not change the core person that my husband is, but I would change the ups and downs and the complete detachment from life that make it miserable to live with him.

Sorry about the vent, but I am really tired and sick of dealing with everything right now. I wish you lot of luck.

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are you certain about his dx of depression?

it could be bipolar as well, where he'd need a mood stabilizer.

if this is his first psychiatrist he has seen, i'd get another opinion.

that said, my dtr was dx'd w/bipolar in her teens.

ea psychiatrist she went to, would go with the first/original dx and not even question his/her dx.

finally, someone has truly done a genuine eval, and called it unresolved add.

this psychiatrist didn't even know she had a dx of this, since she was 4.

finally meds are starting to show the appropriate results.

i pray this works out for you, your dtr and your husband.

mental illness is devastating to have, and is hell for all involved.

it might not hurt for you to see someone, re how this is affecting you.

be well.

leslie

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Hi!! I am coming onto this group hoping that someone can help me.... etc?

I read everybody's posts and I just have to say how sorry I am to hear about the pain you guys are in. I was married to a guy similar to what you're describing Celly and the others too... it is a very lonely road. I also am bipolar and I know that there is a lot a person can do to to help take care of the illness(es) - and some that they can't do much about at all. But there is certainly taking responsibility and accountability for it! it is sad if they can't see that they are doing damage

I would say the most important thing is GET HELP and support for yourself! Whether you stay with or without your mate, you need a way to cope with, stay healthy, and be happy, within or without the marriage/relationship. It is essential - no matter how much the other person is responsible for the pain in your lives. :( Again I am so sorry for what you're going thru!!

finally, someone has truly done a genuine eval, and called it unresolved add.

Leslie I am SO HAPPY for her, that is great they got her on the right track!!!

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