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Dianna11 Dianna11 (Member)

My BF leaving me

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How do I deal with it?

It seems to be harder than I thought, although I saw it long coming :(

Alone, abandoned. Having to deal with a new career. Obviously I will try my best. But nonetheless, I feel crushed on the inside. Into a million pieces :(

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How do I deal with it?

It seems to be harder than I thought, although I saw it long coming :(

Alone, abandoned. Having to deal with a new career. Obviously I will try my best. But nonetheless, I feel crushed on the inside. Into a million pieces :(

Give yourself a little bit of time to mourn, then quickly move on. Confidence is alluring. Self-pity drives interesting people away. You were not "abandoned", you were just in a relationship that didn't work out.

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There is absolutely nothing with being "alone." In fact, it will give you a marvelous opportunity to develop YOURSELF as a person, a woman, and a competent, confident,worthy professional who is separate and apart from another human being. Get support from your family, your girlfriends, etc., but please DO NOT jump into another relationship in order to avoid being alone. You need time to grieve and to heal. Don't fall into the trap of looking to a man to complete you or give you self esteem. That's a MAJOR mistake made by many who only go on to further bad stuff. Be your own best friend and a strong, independent woman before you ever let another man into your life, and never let him define your worth.

Good luck. You've got this.

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You've got several threads over the past 6 months where there seems to be an underlying issue of things happening to you, not quite victim like, more passenger without command.

I think you need to invest the time and effort discovering how to manage your life and all of its interactions versus life managing you. That may not make any sense to you from your perspective now but try to give it some consideration.

My mother always advised me to command respect, it took me years to understand what that meant and how to accomplish it. One, it's about self possession, two it's about allowing yourself to both fail and succeed and knowing both are essential to growth, and three it's about not needing others' approval, only your own (and set that bar high enough that you need to make an effort to achieve it but not so high that you can't get close (iow, achievable but challenging).

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I might be leaving my bf soon. I applied to some nursing programs, and I don't feel I need the stress in my life. Too much has happened, and I feel it's time to move on.

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