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sunnyskies9 sunnyskies9 (New Member) New Member

My BF is a JERK

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We have been dating 2 years, and he just recently transferred money from his 401k to checking account to buy me a ring. He has been thinking about proposing since May of 2013. Not sure why it has taken this long. Anyhow. Tonight I did some looking through his history, and he frequents a message board style site where you can post anonymous. The past few months... He has posted about every other week anonymously just generally ******** about something I did or said etc. I honestly don't know what to think. He is never disrespectful to me in person and is really quite the gentleman. But it's like "what do you really think about me?" Idk if he is just being a baby and needs to man up. I can't really address it to him because then he will know I was snooping around in his comp. He is my first serious boyfriend. What do you all think?

Edited by Esme12

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I think you need to stay out of his computer, and do a little growing up yourself.

Snooping in a significant other's personal things has ruined relationships since long before the Internet was invented.. Men, like women, have bad days and they need a safe place to vent. That's all he's doing. You say he treats you well; why not take that at face value and respect his right to privacy?

Just a few thoughts from someone who's been married for over 33 years and had to learn a thing or two along the way. ;)

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"Danger, danger, Will Robinson!"

And, as something along the lines that Carl Jung said, "Face your fears, for there your soul will grow".

Problems, like fears, need to be met head-on. All too often People use other easier means, like the Internet, to express and vent their emotions. This method may quell feelings, but this method does not necessarily deal with those feelings. Unmet needs and feelings possess the potential to run amuck and wreak havoc.

Committed relationships require things like face to face communication, confrontations, trials, tribulations, mutual understanding, compassion, caring, illuminating revelations, recognition, forgiveness, and make up sex in order to grow.

Otherwise you're committing yourself to just another Person who you don't really know or understand.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I hope you get the gist of what I'm attempting to relay, sunnyskies.

Good luck to you.

Oh, forget "good luck". A Higher Consciousness to you and yours.

Edited by Davey Do

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Both Viva and Davey make good points.

But . . . I really think if there are issues that bug the crap out of him about you and he isn't talking to you about it and you guys are going to get married, you definitely need premarital counseling. Otherwise you may be making a mistake in hitching your wagon to him.

The nitpicky crap that goes on between couples can really make a huge hole in their relationship. And if you plan to have kids, you both really need to be on the same page.

Why not suggest pre-marital counseling BEFORE you accept a ring? (On a side note - I would not have let him take money out of a 401K for a wedding ring - that comes with a tax consequence you may not want to pay).

Best wishes~

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