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Monday August 17 2020

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Morning

Was a nice day yesterday.  Had church, then did laundry and went on a long bike ride

Have the day off, woke up early anyway for some reason

Will do birdwatching and some cooking today, will also be a quiet day

Anxiety has been better overall, though I have noticed it tends to flare up a bit in the morning, for no apparent reason and with no apparent triggers.  But definitely better the next day or tow

Might be a little rain today but won't be too hot though will get warmer during the rest of the week

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Hello. I don't have much going on. Sunny and too warm today already. 

I talked to my sister on the phone for hours. She is watching reruns of "Law and Order".  I watch documentaries. Not much to say.

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Quarter after two and I still haven't done anything except drink coffee and look at the news on-line. BLECH to most everything that's happening in this crazy, mixed-up world.

Hubby is mowing the lawn. I have GOT to go get my med refill. How exciting!

Got some more papers (forms?) from DSS but I haven't looked at them yet.

Maybe I'll be back by here later, Seems like we are mostly all in a funk, eh? 

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Please forgive my typos. I am posting from my phone, sitting in my car. Dh is having a dental procedure and they limit people in the waiting room. That’s okay, because the chairs are uncomfortable and they keep it too cold for my taste. Our super hot day was yesterday when it got up to 90. Today it is in the mid 70s. I will need to pick up prescriptions for dh, and remind him to do ice packs. Other than that, I have nothing planned. I’m blah too. I think I miss being around people, like in restaurants, movies, sports events. I’m not really very social, but I think I miss hearing voices in person. Weird. I am going to try a new recipe with tofu and peanut sauce tonight. It’s something dh wouldn’t eat, so I’ll share with ds or just use it for lunches. Dh will be on full liquids. 

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Good Afternoon -

nursej22 - Hope all went well with your DH's dental procedure. Regarding feeling "blah". . . it's hard NOT to feel that way, for sure. Weather permitting, Amy and I go for our power walks or hikes which help stem off "The Blahs". Hope your blahs go away. . . 

NSIME - Love drinking coffee. I drink LOTS of coffee. Coffee good. 😛 Hope your blahs go away, too.

Tweety - "Hello"! 🙂

herring_RN - I believe that Amy and I watched most, if not all, of the older Law and Order shows. Now?!? We're into watching the TV comedy, "Mom". It's a silly and fun show!

Joe - Glad you had a nice day, yesterday. Hope today was nice, too. Cool that you do bird watching. We see lots of birds outside our windows. Don't know what they are, but they sure like to eat whatever they find on our lawn (worms, maybe??) and wooded area. We see LOTS of wild turkeys. LOTS of them! (Then, for some reason, they seem to be thinned out during the fall months. There're many hunters in our area.)

Yesterday. . . We attempted to video-record Amy's pasta dish. Unfortunately, we were met with technical difficulties which included her Insta-Pot (or whatever it's called) not working, and a noisy lavaliere microphone (which, I think, might be worn out from use). It was a bit frustrating, to say the least. But it was still fun, and provided us an opportunity to practice and learn how to make the video-recording process go smoother.

Today?!? I'm getting ready to go to work, after I'm done typing here. Hopefully work will be "Q". 

We had are driveway re-paved today. It's a stone & dire driveway, so it is susceptible to erosion due to rain and snow. Every now and then we think about black-topping our driveway. But having a black-top and steep driveway that is nearly 1/10th of a mile long is very expensive! So, at least for now, we'll stick with the dirt and rock. 

Nothing much else going on. Hope the rest of this day is pleasant for all.

Peace. . .  🙂

Ted

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BLEARGH! AUGH!  I am freakin' and flippin' out over the DSS forms we just rec'd today and that have to be filled out and submitted by the 25th. Some of the tons of documents they need we can just get from the bank and the investment company, and even the pharmacies she's used. But really, who on earth knew two and a half years ago that we'd need to have every single bill or receipt, especially for the past five years?????

I'm not sure we saved a lot of receipts for stuff she's purchased or spent or gotten in the mail after a certain date; I have a heaped and packed full trashcan filled with 'future' shredding. Thank God I haven't shredded all that yet, as I'm sure there's papers of hers in there. Guess what I'll be searching through tomorrow? Hubby has her bank and insurance papers stuffed into a small 1/2 closet in the kitchen, and HE can go through all of that!

I WANT MY OWN SECRETARY AND DSS MEDICAID-SPECIALIST to be right here and sit down with me IN PERSON, not on ZOOM, or on the speaker phone, and help fill out these pages of CRAP.  Hubby doesn't understand why I am so upset about this, "That's what we have an Eldercare Attorney and a DSS caseworker for, to help us get it all together." And Whooooo has scanned or read the papers? Yah, me, not him. He says "We'll get it all figured out." And as he gets back on his smartphone I think of what Tonto said to The Lone Ranger when they were surrounded by Indians. The L.R. said,  "Tonto, what are we going to do?" To which Tonto replied, "What do you mean 'WE', white man?"

I was trying to explain to him we have TEN DAYS to get the DSS forms filled out and all the requested forms gathered. He kept saying we have 45 days left. Yes, but that's at the nursing home and meanwhile the $285.00 PER DAY builds up and the copay is 20% of that. These DSS papers have to be gathered and sent in ASAP!

I can't talk about it anymore. A t-storm is approaching, Ozzie keeps barking even though he got a hefty dose of Rescue Remedy. Hubby doesn't understand why I am tied in knots. And I am going to try my very best to set this all aside for the rest of the evening. I have taken an emergency 0.5 mg Xanax to bring me down off the ceiling. And I plan on doing crossword puzzles and watch the Braves play a ballgame, and try to let go of feeling so cross about all this leagal schmeagle DRECK und SCHMUTZ.

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Stars, take a deep breath and listen to your husband.  It will all work out.   Don't freak out.

J22, tofu peanut dishes are so good.  I made an Asian cabbage and tofu and peanut butter sandwich yesterday which was good.  Have some leftover.  

Sorry for the curt post this afternoon I had nothing good to say and wanted to stay positive.  Let's just say I clocked out at 8:45 and my lunch was interrupted twice.

Speaking of scripts I picked up my sleeping/anxiety med tonight.  Last one before I have to see him again.  He won't renew without seeing me in person.  My issue is I'm so calm and used to hiding my emotions, even my therapist four years ago said I seemed to calm to have anxiety.  My doc believed me because my BP was sky high four years ago.  I'm so much better now but really want to have the sleeping medication for my insomnia.  We'll see how it pans out later.   I think there is some rule they need to re-evaluate you every three months if you're on a benzo.

I'm off tomorrow.  Nothing much planned but the usual.  

 

Edited by Tweety

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 I know this is late, but today is National Massachusetts Day and Baby Boomers Recognition Day. I think we all fit the bill for the latter, but BCgrad might want to celebrate even if belatedly.

It smells so good here - made a gourmet artisanal pizza. I impress myself with my pizza artistry even if takes me 2 days to start prepping things. 

Tweety - glad you're back. Sorry about the anxiety/depression you and others are feeling. All other things aside, I think it may also be a sign of the times, esp for those of you who still work in HC environments..

j22 - hoping DH's dental travails work out. Just to say, I've been homebound for quite some time, so orig the C19 isolation didn't seem too bad. But I admit, I'm starting to want MORE people-ing. Only way I can explain it. I'm somewhat envious of y'all who are more into the vegetarian/healthy food eating. But I put arugula on my pizza!

Stars - I have this terrible worry that there may still be some very distressing times ahead. Hubs seems to be 'waffel-ing' back & forth re Nan. Accd'g to Grief & Grieving, it's quite common for those trying to cope to waver. I know it doesn't make YOU feel much better, but he & Nan are lucky to have you to interface.

Let me post before computer conks out.

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Tweety, I am always impressed by your self-awareness and your gumption in changing how you do things, to your benefit.  Kudos to you.

And kudos to Joe, you too arrange your days and life to do the things that benefit you.

No Stars, agree with the others.  Deal with things one thing at a time.  Seen all at once, the paperwork IS a daunting task!  I hope you get support and ppl to help you AND DH complete the forms.  First, though, hope you have a good night's sleep before beginning.

Ted, too bad about the video project attempt.  But, that's how we learn about how things work.  Especially given the fact you were working with new equipment!  Hope the next attempt goes well, I'm sure it will go better!

nurseJ22, hope your dh's dental work went well, and he has no pain tonight. 

OK day at work.  Made my way through some necessary paperwork, to be sent for scanning.  Fielded a few phone calls.  I will be in the Stress Lab tomorrow.

Have a good evening!

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mmmmm, pizza smells so good, amoLucia!! 🙂

 

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The mact of the fatter is I am upset because I have to fill the forms out and I have to get the papers gathered together, and I have to be the one to get hubby to get on the stick. The Eldercare Lawyer and the DSS lady are not going to fill out the forms FOR us. THEY don't know where the stupid papers are that we're supposed to come up with.

I don't mean to be snapping about the sage advice to cool it and take one thing at a time...but I have to confess I really do feel the burden with regards to this stuff falling to me. Hubby still talks about we might have to take her home again if she isn't accepted. I don't even CARE about that. I just HATE all the forms and stupid paperwork and rules and confusing regulations.

Nobody has yet told us HOW we are to "spend down" her money. I mean, I can think of lots of ways to spend it, but for US, not her. Hubby wants to keep as much as we can so WE don't end up in the financial mess we were in a couple of years ago. 

Aww chee-it. Just venting. I do go outside every night and spend 30 or so minutes praying my prayers and talking things over with and turning it over to God. Today I just hit the wall at 100 mph and I am as they say here in the South, I am "purely a mess." Sorry, and thanks for being here.

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