Why???? - page 4

Why?? Why is it that for my husband and I to own a home, we had to pay for college, get a job, and subsequently, my husband was in the Army for 9 years which allowed us a VA loan (no down payment... Read More

  1. by   Q.
    Originally posted by cheerfuldoer

    Susy K...those benefits that your family enjoyed by being military aren't the same benefits that soldiers have privy to today. Those benefits are changing rapidly, and if families want to use their VA benefits to purchase a home, they have to do so while they are enlisted, and not when they exit the service.
    That's interesting.....but still..
    a VA loan whether you are still active or not is still a benefit that the soldier and his family EARNED.

    Let those who want that same bene of a free down payment enlist.
  2. by   nursejws
    This really makes me wonder....

    Aren't we supposed to feel some sense of accomplishment for earning our ways in the world? I admit it pisses me off for wanting to better my life, and getting off of my butt to make it happen, while I watch others feed off the system. When I quit my job last October, I cut out all luxuries that didn't have a contract attached to it. No more nails, no more hair done every other month, no more eating out, no more outside entertainment, comparing prices at the grocery store, clipping coupons, etc, etc. Out of all of those things I miss the most...my hair and nails. Sad, but true, I felt much better with my hair and nails done. But, it was a sacrifice I had to make. Only hubby had new clothes and his hair cut, because he was working and he had to have it because of work. He's a big guy too, and big guy clothes ain't cheap!

    I wish more people didn't feel like the world OWED them something. I remember dreaming with my Mom about if we ever WON the lottery. We'd pay all of our bills off, buy each other a house, travel. She always asked me about the Jaguar...my dream car. I said, nope, wouldn't buy it, because I didn't EARN the money for it.

    Luckily we moved out of our old 2bdrm apartment and into a brand new 1bdrm apartment. Our rent is actually cheaper and basic cable is included. I stay out of Dallas county, even though I live in the City of Dallas, because our car insurance is cheaper. The only thing we have right now that I think is not a necessity is DSL. It is truly a luxury, but hubby has to have it when he works from home. I wish he could expense it!

    LasVegasRN...I think you should be able to get help in buying a home, and I wish you luck. If I was the loan institution, I would help because you help yourself. You went to college and earned a degree, and that proves that you have the desire to better yourself, and the dedication to stick it through, by graduating from college.

    I realize that not everyone who has a college degree fits the idea I have. But I feel that if you graduated from college, and you are working,at least your are TRYING to improve your life, and that, IMHO, is good enough for me.
  3. by   live4today
    Originally posted by Susy K

    That's interesting.....but still..
    a VA loan whether you are still active or not is still a benefit that the soldier and his family EARNED.

    Let those who want that same bene of a free down payment enlist.
    Hey...I'm the first to agree with you on that since my husband has served 20 years thus far for this country's freedom, and I have been by his side for 12 of those 20 years, so I hear ya Susie K.
  4. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by shay
    Oh, wow...I'm so sorry. That just sucks. ~sigh~ Hope I didn't offend. Well, you go and get yourself that loan and buy your own home. And you're right, you CAN look yourself in the mirror and sleep well at night because you DID do it right. Man. That is just so....so....twisted.

    Best of luck in your quest for a home....I know you're gonna get it!!
    Thanks, and, no, I was not offended. Excuse my tirade. My apologies to anyone I may have offended, I don't want to imply any thing is "right" or "wrong" in the way we live our lives or have our children.
    ~double sigh~
    Last edit by LasVegasRN on Jun 18, '02
  5. by   Ted
    There was a time in my life when my mother was on welfare. She needed it. I'm not going to get into the whole sad story, but if she didn't have welfare, she would have starved.

    Out of welfare, she found a job. She's now 67 and decades later she's still working full-time.

    I appreciate the anger and frustration you feel when you see people "use the system" and avoid the opportunities for education and work. It is frustrating and a drain of resources.

    Without a doubt, the welfare system needs redoing. Encouraging or even mandating people to work is a positive force, in my opinion. (Interestingly, when my mother was on welfare, she did about 20 hours of community service a week as part of the program she was involved with. This was during the 1970's! She enjoyed it!). But let's not totally dismantle welfare. In my opinion our country needs this type of "safety net".

    We need to hold people accountable for their behavior, no doubt! Without this "safety-net", though, tens of thousands of people (if not more) like my mother would not be here today.

    Yes, there was a divorce involved in my family. No, my father could not have paid alimony. . . he took care of his kids on a low income, even for the 1970's. No, my mother wasn't abandoned by her family (as the oldest, I was only in my early teen's at the time).

    Yes, my mother needed welfare. . . and it helped.

    Here's my concern. There's a lot of people who are angry. I'm one of them!!! I totally detest corporate welfare. . . and it is more abundant!!! However, I hope we don't let our anger totally dismantle a system that can and does do some good. Improve it, yes!!! Dismantle it, no.


  6. by   shay
    And I agree with you Ted. It needs reforming, not chunking in the trash. The problem with the system is that folks like your mom today are the exception and not the rule. It's really sad. Some people, truly NEEDY people, either don't 'qualify' for welfare because of the warped system, or won't apply for it even if they DO qualify because they don't want to be seen as a 'sponge.'

    Welfare was started as a hand-up, a safety net, just as you describe, Ted. Unfortunately, it has turned into a way of life for many of its' recipients. We see it probably more than the average person as nurses, and I'm certain that both Susy and myself (and Fergus!) see it more than most nurses since we work OB. We deliver a 15y.o. at 24 weeks, pay for all of her care and her very sick infant's care, and TEN MONTHS LATER, she's back....pregnant again....with her former 24 weeker in tow, complete with a taxpayer funded apnea monitor and colostomy (this is a true story...not just an imagined scenario). It makes you just want to slap her, yank out her tubes, rip out the guy's testicles, and send them both to boot camp!! But nothing changes, and you know that you'll continue paying for both babies A and B (and probably a baby 'C' in the very near future) until they die, because welfare has become a way of life for that family.

    I do not look down upon the TRULY disabled (I say 'truly' because we've all seen folks that fake it) who cannot work, the mentally ill, and the mothers who have been abandoned by the fathers of their children and simply need help. Even the rare intact family that has had an unusually long illness strike and is struggling to pay the medical bills. BUT THESE CASES ARE SO RARE nowadays. Usually, it's unwed teenagers who simply got pregnant not because they didn't have access to birth control, but because sex 'doesn't feel as good' when they use it. Or they refuse to get a job working for 'chump change' when they don't even have a high school diploma or G.E.D.!! Honey, 'chump change' is better than NO change!! One of my friends when I was growing up got pregnant ON PURPOSE at 16 because she didn't like living at home and following her parents' rules. She got pregnant, moved out, got WIC and AFDC, and moved in with the father of the baby. She saw nothing wrong with her situation at all.

    Well, I'm getting diarrhea of the fingers again. I think we all agree, there are cases where welfare is warranted and NEEDED, but the system is in need of a major overhaul. Ugh.
  7. by   fergus51
    Originally posted by shay
    We deliver a 15y.o. at 24 weeks, pay for all of her care and her very sick infant's care, and TEN MONTHS LATER, she's back....pregnant again....with her former 24 weeker in tow, complete with a taxpayer funded apnea monitor and colostomy (this is a true story...not just an imagined scenario). It makes you just want to slap her, yank out her tubes, rip out the guy's testicles, and send them both to boot camp
    You mean we aren't supposed to actually do that? I am with you shay!!! Got called in to do an extra few hours and who do I see?! Mom, 23 years old with baby number 7. Do the math people. Been on welfare since she was a teen. Drives me crazy! Especially when I see her acryllic nails!!!! ARGH! And she took an ambulance to the hospital rather than a taxi or bus. And she is the most demanding freeloader ("can you get my kids something to eat?") cause apparently we are supposed to take care of her whole family....
  8. by   shay
    Fergus, all I have to say is

    That woman needs to be b*tch slapped and sterilized.
  9. by   RNforLongTime
    Gee, and I can't even have ONE child! How fair is that?

    Shay, your earlier post hit the nail right on the head! Last month my hubby and I were at the grocery store, it was the beginning of the month. In front of us in the check-out line was a girl in her mid 20's with a cart full of food! Steaks, sausage, you name it and all of the TOP brands of food. No generic's in her cart. She was well dressed, wearing Levi's jean shorts and a pair of Sketchers sandals.. A few minute later...her boyfriend joins her with 9 cans of formula. The bill for the food came to 139.45. The only thing she had to pay for was her cigarrettes!!!! The rest was paid for with food stamps. The formula was paid for by WIC. Mind you, both of these people are able bodied! Not a thing physically wrong with them! So, WHY are they on welfare!!!!!!! Hey get a job at McDonalds!!!! I said to my husabnd after we paid for our food with our HARD EARNED CASH!!! "Gee, what are we doing wrong that we can't get welfare" I said this loud enough so the cashier could her us. That couple had already walked out of the store. I watched them drive away in a half way decent car. Why can't these people work!!!!! This fries me to no end!!!!

    I have nothing against WIC as my sister gets it for her young girls. She's on a fixed income as her hubby is the only one working but they just bought a house with FHA. And I would NEVER want to see an innocent baby starve. I want a baby of my own so bad it hurts and yet there are teenagers popping em out like nobodies business.

    But, I didn't vote for Bush......let the flaming begin.............
  10. by   Lausana
    OY, 7 kids at 23????!!!!! Please tell me what guy would get involved with someone with that many kids already, its apparent she's choosing to get impregnated???

    The family I was thinking of in my earlier post receives $500 bucks a month in food stamps, that averaging out to $125/week--that is not a helping hand, thats free food. Weren't food stamps originally only to be used for certain items? Who knows. In Indiana they now have debit cards, which are also accepted at a local butcher shop here, can't miss out on steaks!!

    Supposedly, you are no longer "rewarded" with more money for additional children, that may be technically true for welfare-but all the extra benefits, free food, formula, diapers, daycare, even the hospital bill from their birth-is quite a reward in my eyes, basically their kids are "free".

    I agree, WHY???

    (((wishing you a baby Kelly :kiss YOU deserve one!)))
  11. by   Q.
    The problem is that being on the system and obtaining handouts is a more comfortable life than without them. Think about it.....

    if being poor or on welfare were THAT bad, who in their right mind would continue that cycle and teach that lifestyle to their children? I mean, who's the smart one here? I work for everything I have, and have LESS than someone who doesn't. They drive nicer cars, have nicer nails and hairstyles, nicer stereo equipment. Where is MY reward? And on top of it all, not only do I pay for their life, but I also wait on them hand and foot in the post partum unit; I feed their kids, deliver them juice, provide them with videos to watch, feed their friends, and provide cares to their newborn. Sounds to me like I'M the idiot here.
  12. by   nursejws
    That's really sad that these able bodies are taking advantage of the system. After my Dad passed, my Mom, who's 67, applied for food stamps. Her social security is a lousy $700/month, she was rewarded $15/month in food stamps. A woman who worked her entire life, supporting the six of us, and never asked for any handouts, even from her parents, is rewarded with $15/month. We have to force money in her pockets...I don't know why she feels guilty for accepting it. Like last year on her birthday, one of my brothers sent her $150 - she was going to mail it back to him. On my birthday this year, we went to my Mom's for the weekend, and she cooked for us, bought too much food, etc. As we were leaving, I ran back to give her $30 and caught her crying because I was leaving. She wouldn't take the money. There's six of us kids, and we're always begging her to come stay with us - she won't do it. I think she thinks she'll be a burden...which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Not that my Mom eats a lot, but $15/month is almost insulting.

    My Mom is my rock, and provided me with everything I needed, and then some, when I was living with her. She asks for nothing, yet I'M the one that feels so guilty because I have nothing to offer her right now. After my Dad passed, and I was still working, I religiously sent her $50/month. It wasn't alot, but I told her it was her play money. :kiss

    kaknurse, I feel your pain too! I want a baby so bad, but I don't think I'll be able to have one...we'll see in a few more years. It's so frustrating, to me, that the people who want a baby so bad, and are in a place to provide for the child, are the ones that are denied having one of their own. Instead of them being rewarded with food stamps, and sucking it bone dry, they should be handed birth control and an application to McDonalds!!!!!!!!
    Last edit by nursejws on Jun 19, '02
  13. by   RNforLongTime
    Let's all quit our jobs and get in the welfare line!!!!!!!!!

    Lausana and Nursejws--thanks for the well wishes!

    Last edit by RNforLongTime on Jun 19, '02