Trying to get pregnant between UDC3 and 4 - page 3

Hello! I am currently finishing up my pre-requisites to start nursing school and my boyfriend and I were discussing when we should start having children. I need the perspective of nurses who have... Read More

  1. by   Kooky Korky
    Well, here goes. Just my old-fashioned view - wait until your life is more stable. What I mean is wait til you are committed enough to a man to walk down the aisle. And make sure, as much as humanly possible, that he is as totally committed to you as is humanly possible. No, it doesn't have to be an aisle-walking wedding. Exchange your vows in the pastor's study (or rabbi or whoever) or at the court house. But make those vows. When the going gets rough, and it will, you will be able to reflect on your wedding day and, hopefully, find the strength to persevere in your relationship with the father of your child.

    If you were asking me for a job as a graduate nurse, I would be reluctant to hire someone who was already pregnant because I would know that you were going to go out on maternity leave soon and might be limited in lifting, etc. before you go on leave. If I had other nurses to choose from, I would almost certainly hire one of them instead of a pregnant new graduate. Just my view. You asked, sorry if it sounds harsh or is not what you were hoping to read.

    BTW, there are many what we used to call "elderly primips" these days. Many women give birth in their 30's and there are still "change of life" babies.

    Best wishes.
    Last edit by Kooky Korky on Nov 7
  2. by   Ddestiny
    I will admit, I am not a kid person, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. But I feel like even if I did want kids, being in nursing school is enough stress to deal with without adding hormones and morning sickness to the mix. I've known women that had to change their schedule around when they were pregnant because they had so much emesis that it kept them from working morning shift. You don't get that option in nursing school. There could be complications that have you on bedrest, on "light duty"...
    And that's just getting through school! The first year of being a nurse is HARDER than nursing school for a lot of people, myself included. It's something you can't understand until you get there. School is hard in its own way, but when everything with your patients fall on you.... It is nothing like clinicals. Clinicals give a good simulation of the experience, but knowing that you don't have someone stuck to your hip to guide you and that this sick person in front of you is your responsibility. School can only teach so much, and then the first year of being a nurse will show you that you don't know crap. lol Look at the forums here, there are so many people here in their first years having such a stressful time, questioning if they should even continue in nursing....and most of them are not 8 months pregnant or having the added stress/sleeplessness of a new baby at home.

    My recommendation would be to finish school, secure a job, and get through the first 6 months. If you feel like you can handle additional stress at that point, then start trying. This will keep you from having any of the scenarios above, or not being able to find a job before giving birth. Employers invest a lot of money into new grads, they may be hesitant to hire someone when they might just be getting hired to secure health insurance to cover the hospital stay and then never come back after maternity leave.

    To that end, large hospitals tend to have pretty good insurance. I don't know if that's a concern for you, but just another factor to consider, especially if you won't be able to be a dependent on your boyfriend's insurance.

    Anyway...lots of things to consider, it's up to you to decide which factors bear more weight. Good luck in your decision-making process.
  3. by   Adelinna
    Thank you kindly, Lenny!
    My curiosity is full satisfied.
    Wishing you success in finishing nursing school and your plans of marraige and motherhood!
  4. by   avc324
    I am currently 36 weeks pregnant and just graduated nursing school this past August. It wasn't an oops, my husband and I planned to conceive our second child while I was in school. We gave ourselves a very short window to conceive. If it worked, great. If not, we were going to try after I got a job. Luckily, I got pregnant on the first try, but obviously it doesn't work that way for everyone.

    I was 7 months into my 12 month accelerated nursing program when I got pregnant. I was a little extra tired in the first trimester, but I pushed through. My pregnancy never held me back during clinical and I was just fine to lift patients. Pregnancy didn't hinder my success in a crazy accelerated nursing program and I even graduated summa cum laude. I passed my NCLEX a month after graduation.

    I was planning on having the baby before starting a new job but an opportunity came up and I took it. I started my new job at 30 weeks pregnant. Not ideal, but oh well. Everyone on my unit is really supportive and my employer approved my 6 week maternity leave. I work 12 hour shifts just fine. Am I tired by the end of the day? Sure am! Do my feet feel like they're going to fall off? Yep! But I just push through. I don't pull the pregnancy card. I work just as hard as everyone else.

    If you think you can do it, go for it! It's your life. My philosophy in life is that everything works out in the end. It's all about mind over matter. Pregnancy makes life a little tougher, but it's not a disability.
  5. by   Horseshoe
    Quote from Kooky Korky
    If you were asking me for a job as a graduate nurse, I would be reluctant to hire someone who was already pregnant because I would know that you were going to go out on maternity leave soon and might be limited in lifting, etc. before you go on leave. If I had other nurses to choose from, I would almost certainly hire one of them instead of a pregnant new graduate. Just my view. You asked, sorry if it sounds harsh or is not what you were hoping to read.
    If you were hiring nurses at a facility with more than 15 employees and you did what you are saying you would do, you would be breaking the law. It is completely illegal to consider a woman's pregnancy in any way when hiring.

    If you are okay with violating that law, you should never be involved in hiring.

    The PDA amended Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to expressly cover pregnancy discrimination. The PDA provides that discrimination "on the basis of pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions" constitutes unlawful sex discrimination under Title VII. Thus, under the PDA, employers may not discriminate against employees or job applicants on the basis of pregnancy or a pregnancy-related condition.

    The PDA prohibits discrimination in all aspects of employment, including hiring, firing, promotion, pay, and other employment benefits. It not only prohibits facially discriminatory policies that limit or preclude women from performing specific jobs simply because they are fertile or pregnant but also prohibits actions or policies which disparately impact women because they are pregnant or able to become pregnant.

    Know Your Rights at Work: The Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA): AAUW
  6. by   Horseshoe
    Quote from avc324

    My philosophy in life is that everything works out in the end. It's all about mind over matter.
    That's one of those things that sounds really nice, but isn't actually true. Good that it worked out for you, though.

    Pregnancy usually isn't a disability, that's true, but sometimes things go wrong and it does end up actually being a disability. All those possibilities need to be taken into consideration before becoming pregnant. In other words, what support does the OP have in the event she has to go on extended bed rest, or in the event that the baby comes early and has to stay in NICU for an extended period of time, or if the OP has health issues which require an extended leave from school, etc.
  7. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    Not only am I retired from my nursing career, I am also retired from producing eggs, and childless (by choice)...
    So I have nothing helpful to add here.

    But I do wonder what "between UDC3 + 4" means. I'm thinking it refers to the # of semesters or years, but "UD"?
  8. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    duplicate post, so never mind
    Last edit by No Stars In My Eyes on Dec 3 : Reason: late-night redundancy

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