So, my dear sweet wonderful daughter, the love of my life, my best
friend in the world... became a high school freshman in August. With
that came tears, emotions, frustration.. and that's just me!
Having SO many thoughts right now that I just need to get off my
chest... very glad that I can come here and do so.
I was never popular in school. In fact I was very very much
an outcast. Picked on/made fun of a lot. I was tall, very
awkward, quiet, overweight, and to top it all off I had a
very public (stupid me) mad crush on a guy who did not
feel the same way.
Now here I am, thirty years later, scared half to death that my
daughter is going to go through the same things I went
through. Logically I say to myself, "so what?", because
I know that a), being popular in high school does NOT in
any way shape or form, determine how your life's course
is going to run, and b)... well I forgot what b) was...
Now, let me also say, there are MARKED differences between
my daughter, and myself at her age. Number one, I had
flaming red hair. She has dirty blonde hair and tan skin.
Number two, she is rather friendly and outgoing. Three,
she had quite a few friends in middle school, all of whom
followed her to the same high school.
However, there are things about her that worry me. She
truly marches to the beat of her own drummer. Now, on
one hand I think that it is absolutely wonderful that she
is very much her own person. On the other hand... I
see her becoming an outcast because she doesn't want
to wear cute, pretty, fashionable clothes, or makeup.
I see her becoming an outcast because she has zero
interest in dressing up and going to school dances, namely
the first homecoming dance of her high school career
this weekend. I see many of her middle school friends,
likely wanting to do these things, if they aren't already.
Will they invite her along if they decide to go to the
dance as a group? I fear that they won't. And even
if they do, I think she will say no.
Argh... let me go off on a tangent for a minute.
We live in a small town about 20 miles west of Lexington
Kentucky. We are 15 miles from Frankfort and about 45
miles from Louisville, where I grew up. I grew up in a
big city. That's important to remember, because....
There is this one family here in this small town... it is like
they are some sort of royalty. Mom used to teach music
at one of the middle schools, was a cheerleader at the
local high school when she was in school.. now runs a
little music school in town and is also a county magistrate.
Dad does a lot of little league coaching, and that's about
all I know about him really.
They have three kids... two of them have graduated, and one
of them is in my daughter's class. I don't know... how this
happens... EVERY ONE of those kids managed to be the most
popular kids in school, in their classes. HOW does that happen??
Who died and made these people king, queen, prince and
princesses of the whole dang town, county??? I mean,
the girl in my daughter's class just got appointed to the
homecoming court for their very first homecoming. I'm
like, surprise surprise!!! :eyeroll:
I'm sure that somehow, the importance of being.. important,
popular, the best, Number 1, numero uno, the big cheese,
big man on campus... somehow those things have been
stressed throughout that family, as being important.
So what am I doing wrong??? I'm not teaching my kids
the importance of being mediocre! Far from it... I'm trying
to teach my kids to reach for the stars, work hard, follow
their dreams, and don't do anything only halfway. I'm
trying to teach them that anything worth doing is worth
doing 100%. I half a**ed my way through school and
I don't want them to do the same thing.
So HOW does it happen?? HOW is it that some kids
are super popular and others, who have just as many
great qualities, are not? And I mean, the girl who is
in my daughter's class... it's not like she's a mean girl.
At least I don't think she is. Hell, maybe she is.
Bottom line... I guess I just don't want my daughter to
go through what I went through. Deep down.. because of
the differences in our personalities, I DON'T think that
her experience will be quite as bad.. and if she isn't
voted Most Popular On The Planet, or doesn't even
really enjoy high school.... it's all probably going to be
OK in the end.
Then once she's through it, I have to get my young son
through it. Ugh!!!!