OT: purging, not even regifting

  1. Just a rant: I'm all for being thrifty, I think that's great. I wouldn't turn my nose up at a regift from time to time. But being on the receiving end of someone's purge veiled as a Christmas gift left a bad taste in my mouth. She said, what would you like for christmas? I said, you don't need to do anything, just some cookies would be fine. Instead we are being sent back with a cracked storage container with books that are "gifts" for an 8 week old that is nowhere near ready (an old sociology textbook is just one of them). !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Now I'm responsible for this clutter until I can rehome it. Sorry for the rant, it just seemed obvious she was getting rid of stuff she no longer wants. I find it tacky.
  2. Poll: Giving junk as gifts OK?

    • Sure go ahead!

      0% 0
    • No I would never

      90.00% 9
    • Stop complaining ChaCha

      10.00% 1
    10 Votes
  3. Visit chacha82 profile page

    About chacha82, ADN, RN

    Joined: Mar '13; Posts: 624; Likes: 2,070

    9 Comments

  4. by   Davey Do
    Quote from chacha82
    books that are "gifts" for an 8 week old that is nowhere near ready (an old sociology textbook is just one of them). !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    book-baby-jpg
  5. by   smf0903
    I have a sister-in-law like that. My husband (who is in his mid-40s) got a book about the benefits of joining the red hat society. Last year he got a restaurant gift card for like $7.34

    My mom used to bring boxes and boxes of junk from her house to ours, sometimes under the guise of a gift, sometimes just as "hey was going through stuff at home and I didn't want this so brought it to you". 99.9% of the stuff went right into the trash can after she left (I really don't need 5 McDonald's kids meal toys from 1994).

    We just take the stuff and deal with it. Personally I would just not "gift exchange" in the future. Or just take it. I figure in the grand scheme of things it's small potatoes, ya know?

    Good luck!!
  6. by   llg
    For the OP's situation, I'd be tempted to take most of it back to her, saying something like ... "Thanks for letting us pick through your old stuff ... we kept a few things ... but couldn't use most of it. So here it is. If you don't know anyone else who can use, I guess you'll just have to through it away or donate it to charity."

    Give her garbage back a few times and she might stop trying to get you to take care of it for you.

    Or maybe lie a bit and tell her you were able to sell some of her garbage for a nice little profit.
  7. by   Kitiger
    You can help her get a little more organized. Some people find it so very hard to throw things out, even when that's the best option. Those people find it much easier to give things instead of throwing them away.

    Tell her that you may not be able to use everything personally, but you will find homes for that which you don't want. Point out that some things maybe should be thrown out, like the cracked container. Books can be donated to the local library. (Our library has periodic book sales.)

    Throw the trash out, recycle, and take the rest to a charity, like Goodwill, Salvation Army, or whatever.

    I'm one of "those people". I was brought up to waste not, want not.

    Use it up
    Wear it out
    Make it do
    Or do without
  8. by   JKL33
    A couple of things come to mind:

    1) Giving good gifts is more of a ? talent or maybe personality-associated thing than we give it credit for. I don't know how to describe it but regardless I think many people assume that a good gift would've been given if the person a) cared b) tried c) wanted to - - but I don't think that's a given.

    2) I think waaaaay too many gifts are given at the holidays in general. I really dislike especially extended-family gift-giving. If it's someone I only get together with a few times a year or so...the holidays simply shouldn't involve gifts. It may not be too stressful for someone who has that talent, but for those of us who don't it can be angst-inducing!

    In any case, I wouldn't be thrilled with the gifts received by the OP, and I would seize the occasion to suggest a moratorium on further gift exchanges w/ the individual/family, since that's what I'd like to do about 75% of the time anyway!
  9. by   Ambersmom
    wait for her birthday and give it back to her. I do this to a family member often, and half the time they don't even remember it was theirs to begin with. just send a note saying their might be some valuable 1st editions in there.
    Last edit by Ambersmom on Jan 2 : Reason: add
  10. by   caliotter3
    Some charities are no longer accepting most donations because they can't get rid of a lot of their inventory, so I wouldn't take this stuff in person, but put it in those unattended donation boxes.
  11. by   turtlesRcool
    Quote from Kitiger
    You can help her get a little more organized. Some people find it so very hard to throw things out, even when that's the best option. Those people find it much easier to give things instead of throwing them away.

    Tell her that you may not be able to use everything personally, but you will find homes for that which you don't want. Point out that some things maybe should be thrown out, like the cracked container. Books can be donated to the local library. (Our library has periodic book sales.)

    Throw the trash out, recycle, and take the rest to a charity, like Goodwill, Salvation Army, or whatever.

    I'm one of "those people". I was brought up to waste not, want not.

    Use it up
    Wear it out
    Make it do
    Or do without
    I'm not sure why it's OP's responsibility to do that. Sure, it's nice, but it's also a ton of work. Giving someone a ton of work isn't a good present.

    I'm a terrible hoarder. Not like holding on to garbage or living in filth. But I have a hard time getting rid of old books or clothes that MIGHT fit me again, if only I lose/gain 15lbs.

    I find going through my items and trashing, recycling, or donating to be extremely stressful.

    I don't, however, give people my junk under the guise of "gift giving." Because I understand that if I don't want it, other people probably don't want it either.

    And because it is difficult for me to sort out old stuff, I would be livid if someone gave me THEIR old stuff to sort through. Doing my own sorting is stressful enough. Don't make it my responsibility to sort your stuff, too, and call it a gift to me.
  12. by   amoLucia
    I'm one on the defensive here. I'm really NOT a re-gifter. Mainly because I can't part with most of my things. And I did like some of the suggestions y'all did offer.

    I would NEVER re-gift old, trashy things like OP rec'd. I could maybe re-gift some of my other things as they do have value. But I would need to know that
    the recipient would appreciate those items. So I rarely re-gift even my good items.

    I am a COLLECTOR of things. I have a problem with getting rid of things. I wish I could just easily part with things. I just always think there is someone out there who would like some of my items BECAUSE they like what I like. So that's a major part of why I have so much difficulty down-sizing (I don't call it de-cluttering but some of you might).

    I'm OK to receive a re-gifted item. But then, it has to have some value to me, else it'll be relegated to some closet. And I'd just junk it if meant nothing of value. Somethings are just chaztsky (sp)?) things and not worth the effort.

    To PP Kitiger - TY. I think you do understand some of us.

    To OP - your situation reminded me of the old holiday joke about re-gifting the world's only fruitcake.

    To turtlesRcool - I so DO understand you. A person after my own heart. Hoarder/Collectors Annonymous.

    To caliotter - if there's value to items/collections, one might consider consignment to someone who will broker for the collection. Or think of a yard sale. Some folk do social media (not without some risk). I've done some outside-the-box things to eliminate some things. If I'm down-sizing I'll figure out a good place for me.

    For those interested - there are organizations for Hoarders and Clutterers, like real AA groups and then some are more informal. I googled.

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