Not nursing.. sort of a breakdown pls help?!

  1. I'm 28 and when I was 19 my sister dropped my nephew to my Mother. My mother then got married and her husband wasn't to happy to have kids so she dropped him to me and went missing for a few years. All while using his food stamps, child support and claiming him on her taxes. I was just entering college and devastated I had to drop out of school and work 2-3 jobs to support us. I managed to let her keep him while I got through lpn school. Now at 28 I've become very unfulfilled inside because I think of where my life could've been and I put my dreams on the back burner. My Mom is back around Now divorced. Still collecting benefits and filing for him. My nephew is a good boy he's now 10 I love him. But he's constantly talking back, stealing out of stores , being defiant and every time I discipline him he calls my Mom. I'm really suffering from depression that I hide because this isn't the way I visioned my life. I was really career organized. I wanted to wait to have kids. I've put dating and everything on the back burner. I feel I'm at a crisis in my life. I've tried three jobs that I hate. I want change but don't know how to accomplish it. Any advice? I feel the only way is to give him to my mom and go on with my life. But then I feel guilty. Because she wasn't the best mom to me. Sorry this isn't nursing related but I need to vent.
  2. Visit 8Lovenursing8 profile page

    About 8Lovenursing8

    Joined: Aug '18; Posts: 44; Likes: 20

    6 Comments

  3. by   Kooky Korky
    As good as you have been to your nephew, he is now running afoul of the law. He could very well end up in juvenile hall without some strong discipline and guidance. Boys and Girls Club, churches, police Explorers all come to mind as organizations that help young people who have the problems your nephew has. Both of you could meet some new friends and he could possibly be turned around before anything more serious happens.

    Your mom, I am sorry to be blunt, is a criminal. She knows it, too, and she knows she can take advantage of you. Seriously consider reporting her to tax authorities (the IRS and your state department of Revenue if your state collects state taxes on income). I know you don't want to report your mother, but she has really been taking serious advantage of you and has been breaking the law.

    You need counseling. There is likely some free or low-cost counseling via your County or places like Catholic charities, Jewish family services, or other religious organizations, no matter what religion you personally are. These groups get federal funds, I think, so they have to provide to anyone who asks, not just to adherents of a particular religion. Your local universities might have a school of Social Work and might provide counseling through this school.

    You are understandably angry and upset because you have allowed your family to take serious advantage of you. I hope you get some assistance with life in general and regarding school. Do you want to become an RN?

    best wishes to you and your family. Take action tomorrow by going to church and meeting the pastor, elders, women's ministry leaders and youth leaders. Do not delay another second.
  4. by   AN Admin Team
    Thread moved to Break Room.

    You will receive more replies of support.
  5. by   8Lovenursing8
    Quote from Kooky Korky
    As good as you have been to your nephew, he is now running afoul of the law. He could very well end up in juvenile hall without some strong discipline and guidance. Boys and Girls Club, churches, police Explorers all come to mind as organizations that help young people who have the problems your nephew has. Both of you could meet some new friends and he could possibly be turned around before anything more serious happens.

    Your mom, I am sorry to be blunt, is a criminal. She knows it, too, and she knows she can take advantage of you. Seriously consider reporting her to tax authorities (the IRS and your state department of Revenue if your state collects state taxes on income). I know you don't want to report your mother, but she has really been taking serious advantage of you and has been breaking the law.

    You need counseling. There is likely some free or low-cost counseling via your County or places like Catholic charities, Jewish family services, or other religious organizations, no matter what religion you personally are. These groups get federal funds, I think, so they have to provide to anyone who asks, not just to adherents of a particular religion. Your local universities might have a school of Social Work and might provide counseling through this school.

    You are understandably angry and upset because you have allowed your family to take serious advantage of you. I hope you get some assistance with life in general and regarding school. Do you want to become an RN?

    best wishes to you and your family. Take action tomorrow by going to church and meeting the pastor, elders, women's ministry leaders and youth leaders. Do not delay another second.
    Thank you
    Your words means so much
    I'm just tired of people making me feel like I'm the bad guy.
    I've lost so many years. I would've been a nurse practitioner by now.
    But I feel stuck, I always have to plan my life around his constantly. So I don't even know how I'm going to start back school. I've tried numbers of times to talk to my mom about what she does they only way to stop her is to report her.
  6. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    All I can say is, you really need to re-read Kooky Korky's post, and EVEN IF it scares you and/or 'makes you feel bad, go DO stuff right away. If you start to feel overwhelmed by what Might happen, you'll talk your self out of it, and be right back at square one. As Great Philosopher, Nike, said, "JUST DO IT!" Check?
  7. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    I come from a family like this and essentially I divorced them. Raising this child is not your responsibility and seems like more than you can bear. Honestly, I'd drop the kid off to the people who are cashing his checks and move without leaving a forwarding address. You are entitled to a life and the way things currently are you aren't going to get one. Move on
  8. by   Neo Soldier
    Right on, Korky. That child needs discipline and if you're providing for him, then you're acting in the role of a parent, therefore, unless your mother wants to foot the bill, she can stay out of your methods. He needs guidance for sure and maybe some after school activity is good for him or even some volunteer work. You need a break yourself. Do you have a support system maybe outside your family?

close