not sure if this is in the correct forum. move if need be. thanks in advance for reading/advice.
wife and i are planning to become pregnant. long story short, in vitro fertilization might be in our future. she is a kaiser member which doesn't cover it. we've had a couple cycles of IUI without success. my coverage is Blue Cross Blue Shield which also doesn't cover any costs associated with IVF
any ideas moving forward? do i just bite the bullet and dish out the $20,000? the MD states we've got a 20% chance even with IVF because of her age (39). unless i misunderstood. any financial aid programs out there?
At age 39, I wouldn't waste time or money on IUI. In fact, I think the 20% success rate for IVF sounds very high. Is that a rate for pregnancy or actual life birth? A lot of pregnancies in that age range tend to end in miscarraige, but if they have a heartbeat at some point, they are considered 'successes".
I don't think you'll find too many charitable options for funding your fertility treatment. Loans might be possible, but you'd be gambling in a high stakes way with money you don't actually have.
How important is a genetic connection to you? I'd its not too important, you might want to look into embryo adoption.
IVF is a purely elective procedure. I've never heard of any kind of "financial aid" programs to help cover it. Everyone I've known who has gone that route just paid for it out of pocket (and required more than one round to be successful). Be aware before you do so of the poor success numbers, as Sour Lemon notes. Best wishes!
IVF is indeed elective. Most insurance does not cover it. But if you want a baby that badly, you'll make it happen without others paying for it. I agree: IUI would probably be a waste of time (and money you will need to save for IVF). For that matter, at her age, donor eggs may even be needed. After 35, the success rates drop sharply d/t low-quality eggs. Every year after 40, the rates become increasingly dismal with a woman's own eggs. Not an easy road for you. Be prepared to spend a lot and hope every month it worked. The hormonal ups and downs will be harsh. For both prospective parents, It's stressful and by no means easy.
Seriously----- research IVF and success and failure rates at this stage in a woman's life and be prepared for its ups and downs. And as Sour Lemon said, you want to know the successes in terms of live births, not pregnancy rates. It matters! Know the risks/benefits of even using her own eggs at age 40. The rates of success rise with using donor eggs. (or adopted embryos as Sour Lemon alluded to). The odds otherwise are not great for the amount of time, money and emotion you will put into pursuing this route.
Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Apr 28
Yes, "bite the bullet" and shell out the cash if you want to do this. Be prepared to spend more than 20k (lots of expenses go into IVF, not just the procedure, but medications and the like)---- Time is most certainly not on your side.
Unfortunately isn't that what Octomom got when she had all those kids on the taxpayers dime?