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I want to be nice to my guy...

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.. ;)

So, I have been an utter monster lately. A lot of it is due to frustration because I feel like now that I am in Nursing

school, things are not being kept up the way I kept them before. Needless to say, I have conveyed this in not-so-nice ways to my guy.

Well, I have noticed that the house is STILL messy...but I DO see him trying. It's kind of cute and makes me feel terrible. He still can barely keep up. But I see he is making an honest effort. Poor thing.

So I would like to "make it up" to him here and then. I do what I can, but I realize that I will be in nursing school for two years and he is now the one who is carrying the weight on his shoulders. I was wondering what kinds of things I can do to show him I appreciate him. I say Thank You and really point out good things that he does.

Basically...how do I bribe him? LOL JK. But it's honestly awful..I feel so bad for being stressed and witchy- I just make it up buying him expensive video games and electronics. PATHETIC I KNOW!

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Cook him his favorie meal,rent a type movie that you know he likes (if he loves action movies etc) and watch it with him...leave him a romantic note the bed before you leave for your morning clinicals, tell him (men love to be told) how awsome he is and how lucky you have been to have him in your life and also let him now that even though times are hard it you are happy with him,he makes you happy (men love to be appreciated) Put on some sexy lingere from time to time (on your days off, men are visual) and most importantly hug me and hold him in your arms,so he can feel cared for,good luck!!

Ps.BTW works for me..when I argue with my man( hehe) I try to bribe him with a good meal...and all of the sudden his mood improves and he is not so tense anymore:) When tell him he makes me happy then he adorably melts...

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LOL Blackhearted! I try to do these things. He seems grateful..but I feel like one day it will not be enough LOL.

Renting a movie that he likes. We haven't sat down to watch what he wants for a while! Good idea. :D

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Practice bed baths *wink wink*

Speaking as a guy, whoever wrote that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked A&P. Although a nice meal is ok, too. If you have that kind of time. And a dishwasher.

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inbox, are you flipping out on him, like, everyday?

how often is he the recipient of your 'moods'?

and do you apologize?

the reason i ask is if you do and then turn around and flip on him again, the apologies quickly become meaningless...

as will all other thank-you gestures.

the most appreciative act from you, would be to truly contain yourself.

for example, beat the pulp out of a pillow and then turn to him and sweetly ask, "honey, aren't you glad this isn't your face?"

and there ya go.

he now knows you're in a crap mood, and actually IS appreciative that the pillow wasn't his face.

win-win.

now go give him a hug.

then a bedbath.:cool:

again, win-win.:redpinkhe

leslie

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First things first...make sure he explicitly knows what you definitely expect to be done (like dishes washed and the counter to be cleared). As a reforming messy person who discovered WHY I am messy, knowing specifically what my hubby wanted done helped me immensely. (A request to "keep the kitchen clean" is not sufficient for me because my mind doesn't see the mess the same way a "regular" mind does.)

I know that for my hubby, he wants my time as evidence that I recognize what a wonderful person he is, especially when I am positive and loving towards him. He is also a man, so there are certain ways to "speak" to men that require no money at all, if you catch my drift. Things that cost money don't mean too much to my hubby. If he wants to buy something, he'll get it himself.

You sound like a sweetie. :)

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I agree with apples. I just started school, too. I am a very nitpicky person when it comes to house cleaning. At first, I just let it build how irritated I was about the house not being perfect, or the way I thought it should be. I finally blew up and he explained it to me like this... the house isnt gross, nobody comes over b/c they know you are busy, the kids are fed and have clean clothes. Calm down and get back to studying, you dont have time to sit out here and argue with me. :) I love him more every day .... (and he took my advise on a few things)

Oh, and to answer your questions, pick a weekend afternoon and give it to him. Go somewhere with him and dont take your books!

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something i do is send him quick "i love you" and/or "i'm thinking of you" emails to his work account. no one cares and it makes his day. he calls me every work day at 3:00 (or as near as possible) just to say i love you and i'm thinking of you. praise everything he does even if it isn't quite up to your standards. drop your expectations. concentrate on what must be done. you can skip a lot and the board of health won't care. you aren't keeping house for either of your mothers. i'm not saying to be slobs just that you guys don't have to keep house to your mom's standards. shower or bathe together and wash him all over and wash his hair too. he'll love it. when you go to bed, just before falling asleep, tell him one more time, just how much you adore him. bake him a batch of brownies from a mix but add 2 tsp.of coffee (instant powder or half a cup of brewed), chocolate chunks or chips, and blops of peanut butter and swirl the batter in the baking pan using a knife. bake as usual.

kathy

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

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.. ;)

Basically...how do I bribe him? LOL JK. But it's honestly awful..I feel so bad for being stressed and witchy- I just make it up buying him expensive video games and electronics. PATHETIC I KNOW!

*** Have sex with him. Don't buy him things, he will buy what he wants for himself. Sex is what you can give him that he can't get anyplace else or do for himself (well you know what I mean). Besides it's fun for you too. Am man will put up with most anything from you if he is well taken care of at home.

Good luck!

PMFB-RN - A man.

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Sounds like all the above mentioned ideas are really good and will get you back in his good graces. I have to agree with Leslie it will all be fine and good as long as it does not keep happening for him. Nursing school is hard not only on you but also you S.O. Clincals, Study groups, and Care plans are all very time consuming and I am sure he misses seeing you as often as he did before you started school also. Cut him some slack and as cliche as it is... try not to sweat the small stuff. Two years is a long time to be seriously strung out and besides not being good for your relationship, its not good for you health and will eventually catch up with ya in your professional life.

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:devil:

First things first...make sure he explicitly knows what you definitely expect to be done (like dishes washed and the counter to be cleared). As a reforming messy person who discovered WHY I am messy, knowing specifically what my hubby wanted done helped me immensely. (A request to "keep the kitchen clean" is not sufficient for me because my mind doesn't see the mess the same way a "regular" mind does.)

I know that for my hubby, he wants my time as evidence that I recognize what a wonderful person he is, especially when I am positive and loving towards him. He is also a man, so there are certain ways to "speak" to men that require no money at all, if you catch my drift. Things that cost money don't mean too much to my hubby. If he wants to buy something, he'll get it himself.

You sound like a sweetie. :)

Why were you being messy?

I know I have to be very explicit to my family members. Step by step. And only 1 or 2 steps at once. They simply don't do well knowing what I mean if I say "straighten the stuff under the sink" or "clean your room". They need a list and it can't contain more than 2 items. VERY frustrating for me but I have to do it their way or it won't get done. It's probably their vaccinations. :devil:

For the OP:

As a man - sex is a great gift but it, too, can be overused :eek: and seen through and then not mean as much or have quite the effect you are looking for. Do try to, uh, vary your routine in that department a little - a new teddi or a new "behavior". And do try to get some help with your stress. You're in this for the long haul. I wish you the best.

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