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How to date your best friend?

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My best guy friend and I were recently having a discussion about my love life (or lack there of) and why it was the way it was. Being the amazing friend that he is, he went on to tell me how wonderful I am and what a catch I am. My response was, "I get that a lot. Problem is, no one ever really does anything about it." The conversation ended with him basically asking me on a date.

The date thing does not weird me out in the least, dating doesn't have to be dead-serious to me, I think it should be fun.

But a couple days after that conversation, we had a follow up conversation, in which he reiterated what he thought about me as a woman and how he had considered that it might be worth trying beyond the friendship level. And I agree.

I find this guy to be everything I'd want in a relationship, I constantly compared other guys to him. If anything, he is a great example of what I should be looking for. Therefore, it would be amazing if somehow we figured out how to turn friendship into romance and an actual relationship. But how? The thought is weird to me (I'm thinking it's normal to feel that way). We've been nothing but friends ever since we might like 7 years ago (although we both admitted to having crushes back on each other at some point early on). Regardless of the crushes I had on him back in high school, I'm clueless as to how this works. Do I just ride out any "weirdness"?

For me, a big part of dating someone is all the excitement that comes with getting to know that person. But I already know this guy, and he knows me, pretty damn well if I say so myself.

I just need like....some words of wisdom...has anyone else every been in a similar situation? Trying to take a solid friendship to the next, not-so-certain, level?

HELP!:heartbeat

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My husband and I started out as friends. He was always there for me and I never thought it odd that he would show up at my door and be whisked away good-naturedly on whatever my son and I were up to at that particular moment. Being friends, to me at least, means that you honestly like each other, not just as a heat of the moment thing, but on a deeper level where you accept each other, the bad and the good, and you will always have someone you can turn to and know that they understand you. DH and I have now been married 11 years and have a lovely family.

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Sometimes the best relationships/marriages are started this way.

But do yourselves a favor, make sure you are entering into the new realm because you love this person, not because there are no other potential prospects lurking about in your lives at the moment.

If you settle, you will always get more than you bargained for. Think on that.

Good luck.

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Any couple that I know that have been together for a long time have one thing in common. It is always mentioned that s/he "is my best friend" Always!

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I am married to my former best friend :D He still is, but that is how it started. There wasn't any wierdness for us. Just our other friends who didn't have a clue and only found out by turning around during a movie. Ahh the good ol' days.

I say go for it! If it works out it will be the best thing you ever did. Have you ever thought of him "that way" before?

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yeah...i'm not fully understanding why anything might feel "weird".

if anything, it feels completely natural and even more wonderful.

i'm reminded of someone who used to be a member here.

she would complain to her best (male) friend, how she'd never find anyone or end up married (something to that effect).

he (best friend) ended up revealing his deeper feelings towards her...

she basically was knocked off her feet (thinking, why didn't i ever think of him??), they ended up married, having family, happily ever after.

you guys know ea other well enough, to be past anything awkward.

if the feelings are there and are mutual, what a great opportunity to explore any potential.

let us know how it works out!

leslie

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"if that better way ain't so*

I ride with the tide

And go with the flow."

-Inez & Charlie Foxx with James Taylor

Davey (* or is, in some way, "weird") Do

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My husband is absolutely my best friend, but we were not "just friends" first...it was actually almost a blind date (I hadn't known him very long). But I see your hesitation ("Will it be weird? What if it doesn't work out, will we still be friends?" etc.)

But I say go for it if you both feel like it, and if it gets awkward (i.e. no chemistry or whatever), don't be afraid to say, "Umm, are you feeling weird?" and just talk about it. Anyhoo, advice with a grain o' salt from someone who has never been in that particular situation. :twocents::)

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The best relationships start out in the friend zone, I believe. I doubt there will be any weirdness because you two already know one another. If anything, it should be a smooth transition to the next level.

I am rooting for you two.

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My husband was/is my best friend. We were best friends for over a year and he wanted more. I blew him off 3 times, thinking that we would eventually break up and things would be ruined. We were teens back then. He was there for me through some serious family issues. Anyways-he did finally leave me alone and I discovered that I hated it, I was completely miserable. I fell in love with him without even realizing it and was lying to myself. We have been married for 9 yrs and it's awesome.

I hope it works for you two. I think it's the best route to take, you already know everything about each other. It's still exciting changing your relationship to a more intimate one and you already trust each other so you won't hold back.

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I was in this situation. I guy I had been very close friends with for 5 years - and just like your post one day we said - why not! It wasn't a smooth transition for us and ultimately it didn't work out.

First, there is no getting to know the person stage so it felt really serious really fast. We already knew each other so well, we knew each others families, we already hung out together all the time so the relationship part felt like we jumped from not dating to in a really serious relationship.

Another thing was that he had characteristics that were great in a friend but not necessarily what I wanted in a (future) spouse. The fact he was really easy going and care free was great as friends but once in a relationship I was looking ahead and wishing he was more settled, grounded and responsible. I thought about his characteristics differently.

I also found out that he had certain ideas about his role in a relationship - the role of the man/woman. He had dated others during our friendship and we had talked about roles, but living it in real life in a relationship with him made me realize we had different ideas.

In the end we decided that while it seemed like it would be great, maybe it wasn't as great as we wanted it to be. We probably bailed on the relationship too early (well I did, he wanted to work on it longer) and it could be that longer would have made it work. I was scared though of losing the friendship so I wanted the relationship to end before it soured and I also lost the friendship.

In the end I still wonder sometimes what if...he was such a great guy in so many ways. He is happily married now and we have maintained a friendship, although that is quite different now that he is married. His wife and him seem wonderfully suited to each other and I think in the end it all worked out the way it was meant to.

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The secret to a great relationship according to GilaRRT:

Your spouse, partner, or what have you had better be your best friend. If that ever changes, the relationship is in trouble. Not to say you can't have other friends, but your life partner is the one you are facing the world with. Just the two of you against a crazy world in some cases. If you are not best friends with your life partner...

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