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JasonKa JasonKa (New Member) New Member

How did you handle relationships during school?

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You are reading page 5 of How did you handle relationships during school?. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

If you can say there's nothing wrong with hookups . . . aren't you projecting too?

To each their own but . . when you post on a public bulletin board, you shouldn't be surprised at some of the answers.

As a Labor and Delivery nurse, I saw too many results of women giving in to the hookup mentality. I'm not going to apologize for thinking it is not a good idea.

I also realize many women are deciding this is fine and dandy . . . which I find sad.

To each their own - but I have a right to speak my piece just as you do.

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I really think men do not understand women and women don't understand men. From my experience, women may say "hey, it's ok if a guy is only in it for the sex" but for the most part, they are lying to themselves.

I found this earlier and it is written by a man.

"I believe the current culture of casual sex and meaningless hookups is wrong. Many of today's current problems wouldn't exist if guys kept their pants zipped and women kept their legs closed. I'm no saint, though. If I were in my 20s, I'd probably be after the same thing. Thankfully, I'm in my 50s, a little older and a lot wiser.

I think that even though what these people are seeking is wrong, it is the men who act honestly, and it is the women who are lying to themselves. The men make no secret of the fact they aren't looking for a relationship. They don't want a commitment, and are not looking to provide and protect the women they sleep with. They are, as some put it, just looking for a warm place to put it. They are clear about that and don't try to mislead anyone. It is the women who aren't being honest with themselves. They've been lied to and told they can sleep around and not have it mean anything. However, when the guy sleeps with them and then never calls again, they are hurt. The women call the men immature jerks and worse. The truth is that the men are acting just like they said they would. The women don't want to believe the truth. The women are the ones without integrity.

The real problems appear if the woman gets pregnant. They expect the man to come through and either marry them or pay child support. Maybe it's the right thing to do, but the men were clear that they never wanted that. The women have much more to lose, and it's too bad they don't realize this before they sleep with the guy. Unfortunately, it's the child who has the most to lose. Either the child is sucked into the sink, or destined to a life of being the child of a single mother with all the associated problems.

One of the mantras of feminism is that they act to empower women. The funny thing is, in matters of relationships, family and children, women have ALL the power - they always have and they always will. It's a real shame that they've given it away."

A middle-aged guy.

The potential for making a child is there no matter how "safe" the sex. Hooking up is dangerous to your health, your psyche, and the children you might just make.

If you are offended - I won't apologize. I'm passionate about women making smarter choices and kids not having to suffer because they have losers for parents.

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The potential for making a child is there no matter how "safe" the sex. Hooking up is dangerous to your health, your psyche, and the children you might just make.

If you are offended - I won't apologize. I'm passionate about women making smarter choices and kids not having to suffer because they have losers for parents.

If done intelligently, hooking up doesn't have to be any of those things. I get where you're coming from. I frown at most of the hook-up culture today as well. I have a very different perspective on sexual matters and always have. Quoting a middle-aged man who thinks women should stop kidding themselves about hooking up and admit it hurts us emotionally is just silly, though. Not all women feel like that. The shame/guilt/negativity that makes them feel that way is deeply ingrained into our society.

When I do have kids, what I'll teach them is that having sex doesn't make them "used", doesn't make them "dirty", and it certainly isn't something they should ever let anyone judge them for. They should set their own standards, set them high, and strive to exceed them, always. If they want to grow up and extend that into having casual sex with others, they are welcome to. As for myself, I've not chosen to. My standards are high enough that the types of guys who do hookups aren't the types of guys I'm into, not even for a hookup. I don't close it off as a possibility, though, if I found the right person.

Casual sex can be detrimental. So can anything else if you partake of it without any kind of intelligent plan or moderation. I don't expect you to apologize or change your views, but it isn't going to stop me from clarifying my own. Just because you can't perceive how a girl could have casual sex and not be harmed by any supposed emotional attachment doesn't mean it isn't valid. As for her physical health, I doubt she's going to get pregnant if she's using birth control herself and makes sure to use condoms. Some STDs/STIs can still be caught with condoms, yes, but that's why you should always be selective about your hookups and always make sure you've got your sh*t together. Don't count on anybody else to have your back, especially when it comes to that.

At any rate, this is very much off topic and so I'll go ahead and shut up about it.

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The back and forth on the pros and cons of casual "hook-ups" is all very interesting. However, the OP SAID he was interested in relationships if you believe what he chose as the header for his thread. Reading the actual post, however, says he's interested only in a casual hook-up. Here's a guy who is either deceiving himself about what he really wants (casual sex) or is out to deceive some woman into thinking he wants a relationship when all he wants is for her to put out. Either way, he's being emotionally dishonest and someone (probably the woman who thought he was into her) is going to get hurt.

Say what you want about emotional honesty and how casual sex is OK in the setting of complete emotional honesty, I'm not sure that guy is being honest. And casual sex in that setting is a sure recipe for getting hurt. Unfortunately, it probably won't be the guy who gets hurt.

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Amnesty - for some reason I thought you were a guy. Sorry about that. Agree to disagree.

Ruby - I agree.

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...I'm sitting here wondering which of the "6 typical nursing girls previously mentioned I fit into. Since I'm thinking it through probably "too type-a" :sarcastic:

I start my ABSN program in January and I'm guessing I'm not going to meet my soulmate since there are only 2 guys in my program. Cosmo or one of those popular magazines rated nursing as the worst field for single woman to find relationships or something crazy like that. When I went to college for my first degree I never dated guys in my class anyways, always people I met at parties or bars. Friends of friends is usually the best way to go.

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