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Happy Wife, Happy Life

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mjcruiser mjcruiser (New Member) New Member

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A lesson learned about what really matters...

Happy Wife, Happy Life

I guess you could call my spending habits, "thrifty". My wife calls it being "cheap". Over the last few years, I have focused on a career shift towards nursing and have frequently worried about saving up as much as possible.

For our honeymoon last year, my wife begged to go on an Alaskan cruise, practically our first indulgence since we met 5 years ago. Throughout those 5 years, I have always heard about her love of whales and marine life. A cruise would be a perfect mix of relaxation, rest and this marine life that she so loves.

Soon after boarding, she heard about an excursion off the boat in which we would go on a "whale watch". Now, I had promised her that she would finally get to see the whales that my frugality had always kept beyond her reach.

As we booked the excursion off of the boat, I winced as I reached into my wallet. Internally, I was fighting my natural instincts to be "cheap", I mean "frugal". However, the promise I made to my beautiful and loving wife made it impossible to turn back.

The next morning, we boarded the boat for the whale watch. During this time, my wife was so giddy in hopes of seeing a whale, even at a distance. On the other hand, I was feeling indifferent at the potential sight of a whale, I was more concerned about the money that was already spent. As we embarked on our trip, the captain barked over a loudspeaker, "Welcome aboard to the Alaskan Whale Watch, the only ship the guarantees the sight of a whale. If none are seen, you will get a full refund!".

Suddenly, inside I felt as giddy as my wife was at the thought of actually seeing a whale. I couldn't help but notice the irony that I was a paid customer on a whale-watch hoping to not see a whale. 10 minutes had passed....still no whales. I thought to myself, "this is great, we'll get a full refund!" However, as more and more time passed, my wife's beautiful and beaming smile started to shrink. Suddenly, a voice came over the speaker,

"And....if you you look over to the starboard side, we have our first whale for the day!"

"Noooooooo!", I thought. My thoughts raced as I thought about figuring out how to pay bill X or bill Y. However, my sadness morphed to happiness at one glance of my wife's smile. She was jumping up and down as she said to me, "Matt, oh my gosh! Look, there's a whale!"

In the end, I learned the lesson that my father told me on my wedding day, "Happy Wife, Happy Life". Even though the density of my wallet had shrunk, my wife and I shared a great experience together which resulted in her happiness and therefore my happiness. I also realized that I should focus less on being "thrifty" or let's face it, "cheap" and focus on "Happy Wife, Happy Life".

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fantastic story - I loved it.

(great message)

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I can be frugal to a fault, too. But sometimes you have to shell out for the things that truly are priceless.

You'll get lots of mileage and memories from this excursion. Your values are in the right place.

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I'm the same way. I hate spending money. I grew up poor (well, poor for the US, anyway) and shudder to think about going back there. My dad used to take us to Wendy's growing up and told us we could order 'anything that starts with a dot'. I guess that's where I've gotten the cheapskate side of me. My husband grew up poor in Latin America (far worse off than my childhood - at least I got to use toilet paper) and now refuses to even use coupons, because he now has a little more affluence - though we are by no means rich - and plans to enjoy it.

It's sometimes difficult to strike a balance, but we manage to. Sounds like you guys did too. Well done. :up: And like Mir said, some things are worth it.

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Great story. Glad you realized what's really important here.

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I cant stand this saying my mother-in-law uses it all the time. I think it is selfish

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I cant stand this saying my mother-in-law uses it all the time. I think it is selfish

Some might use this quote with selfish intentions, but there's a lot of truth in it, no matter who's saying the words. It's the flip side of the other saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

I do know that when I feel that my husband has heard what's on my mind and has shown that he cares what I think and how I feel, I draw closer to him and try to look for ways to show him what he means to me.

Edited by rn/writer

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I, too, live by this creed. After all, her happiness leads to my happiness.

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Great article and nice story. My hubby has said at times that I (like other wives/moms) am always trying to make everyone else happy or comfortable so he also repeats this saying sometimes. :)

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I am cheap, too....er.....frugal.....my hubby wants to go on a cruise....someday. I look at prices and think "There is just no way"....plus, the thought of being miles out into the ocean and not being able to see land scares me.

I grew up poor, too, so I hoard money, big time. No, I can't take it with me when I die, but it sure is nice to have while I am alive!

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