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Game of Groans

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You are reading page 5 of Game of Groans. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays." 

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it." 

I saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah and I thought: ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.'”

Edited by GrumpyRN

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When a person tells me  she is going to run to where I ask the person to get my new prescriptions for me, I tell her I want to see her run. (tongue in cheek)😊

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When dh says he is going to run to the store, I suggest he take the car; it will be faster. 

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"Cloths make the man. Naked people exercise little or no influence on society."

[Mark Twain]

(Who never lived long enough to witness The Kardashians!!!)

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Might not be a groaner, but definitely has The Ick Factor!


In the 17th century and beyond, human skulls were soaked in alcohol to create a tincture called, "The King's drops", that was said to be good for gout, dropsy (edema), and "all fevers putrid or pestilential," among other ailments. King Charles II of England allegedly paid 6,000 pounds for a personal recipe.

[from Mental Floss]

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What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One's pretty heavy, and the other's a little lighter....

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"I'm a mummy.

I was born one thousand, nine-hundred and fifty-nine years ago.

My daddy was a mummy, too.

People are scared of me. Watch what happens when I walk up to somebody:

[bicycle horn squeezed 3 times in rapid succession]

"I'm a mummy."

"SSSHHHRRREEEIIIKKK!"

(did I get just a little groan from the oldies here?)

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